Mars Needs Moms (2011): Disneys odd take on Family Femtech False Mothers w/ @jamiehanshaw4378

The Occult Disney podcast discusses the movie “Mars Needs Moms,” where Martians kidnap good mothers from Earth to program their nanny robots. The hosts discuss the recurring theme in Disney movies of absent or deceased mothers and the impact this might have on young viewers. They also debate whether the movie promotes or criticizes matriarchy, as Mars is run exclusively by women. The podcast also touches on the movie’s use of advanced technology, like wormholes for space travel.
The text discusses a movie where Martian society is colorless and divided by gender, with men living in a colorful trash dungeon and women leading a structured, colorless life above. The movie suggests that a nuclear family, with both a mother and a father, is necessary. The text also mentions the movie’s production, its financial failure, and its origins in a quirky children’s book. The movie’s themes of role inversion, the importance of color, and the impact of removing a father from a household are also discussed.
The text discusses a movie where a character named Seth Screen is voiced by a child, despite the actor being an adult. The movie also features a character named Gribble, who is a flawed yet heroic figure, saving the protagonist and his mother. The text also explores the concept of the ‘Uncanny Valley’ in the movie, and the character of Key, who is influenced by a 60s-70s Earth television show, adopting its counterculture ideas. The protagonist’s perception of his mother is also discussed, with him describing her in terms of her roles and actions.
The text discusses a movie where a young boy learns to appreciate his mother’s domestic labor after witnessing a Martian society where mothers are vaporized and their consciousness transferred to nanny bots. The movie explores themes of matriarchy, patriarchy, and the value of love in raising children. It also raises questions about the potential misuse of advanced technology and the importance of balance in family dynamics. The text ends with a discussion on the long-term effects of the Martians’ actions on Earth’s parenting quality.
The text discusses a movie where a matriarchal society exists on Mars, with men living underground and women ruling above. The men seem content with their lives, while the women maintain order and structure. The text also explores themes of gender conformity, love, and responsibility, and ends with a discussion about the symbolism of the sun and moon in the movie.
The text discusses a movie where the characters keep a secret trip to Mars from their father, comparing it to other Disney movies like Mary Poppins. It also discusses the movie’s themes, such as the perception of parents as real people, gaslighting, and the use of outdated and potentially offensive language. The text further explores the movie’s portrayal of aging and beauty standards, and compares it to the treatment of older actresses in Hollywood. Lastly, it mentions a future discussion about the implications of Toy Story 3’s premise that toys have souls.
The text discusses a movie set on Mars, where characters live under oxygen bubbles on the surface and breathe freely in underground caverns. The movie also includes elements of physics, secret space forces, and memory erasure. The text also mentions other movies based on theme park rides and the idea of creating a new movie based on the Matterhorn ride. Lastly, it discusses the acting style of Nicolas Cage in various films.
The discussion revolves around various Disney movies, focusing on unique elements and firsts in each film. The speakers mention the use of a glass coffin in Snow White and Mars Needs Moms, and the unusual themes in other movies. They also discuss the struggle Disney had in creating content that appeals to boys, often resorting to buying popular franchises like Star Wars and Marvel. The conversation ends with a mention of Disney’s exploration of interspecies relationships in their films.
This text talks about a hypothetical action-packed Disney movie and introduces Paranoid American sticker sheets, which feature various conspiracy themes. The stickers, available at ParanoidAmerican.com, depict cryptids, cults, and killers. The text also includes a rap verse expressing the writer’s life experiences and thoughts.

Could we vaporize Matt and all sort of inherit Matt’s knowledge? Like, does this work, anyone? Why would you waste such a great invention on just random earth moms? Like why wouldn’t they kidnap, you know, the greatest minds and then vaporize those and turn those into the nanny bots? Einstein couldn’t change a diaper. Ask about Illuminati sister Charting the upbeat is it Disney mind control is this we go from real to me moving no more feel I cook his neck Ask her back to the movement I take a co business teacher go to everybody a copy Wish upon a star a cold Disney no longer a new brand Pinocchio.

Hello, welcome to the Occult Disney podcast where we check out all the planets of the solar system to see if they need moms or not. And the secrets behind why they need moms or not. This is Matt here. Over there. It’s a paranoid American. What’s up? I just said paranoid really weirdly. That’s okay. That’s the best way to say it is is weird. And we also have returning guests, maybe the first two time guest. Jamie Hanshaw from Out of this World podcast, Weird Stuff magazine, all kinds of other stuff. Let’s just do plugs up front. Tell people where they can go and follow you while they’re listening to us.

Okay. Jay’s analysis is where my books are sold in the shop. I also have a channel on YouTube you can look up by my name, Jamie Hanshaw and Out of this World and. And I have a channel on rockfin also you can look me up just by my name where we talk about occult like Hogwarts style, Defense against the Dark Arts stuff. All right, very groovy. I got to ask people when they make requests on movies though. Why? Because this one I as I was looking at my production, it is considered to be the fourth largest financial Hollywood bomb in history, which is kind of amazing.

Really? Yeah. Just real quick on the deets. 150 million budget, 39 box office. So no one ate lunch on this one or everyone ate lunch. I forget how these expressions work. They ate a shark sandwich. That’s what they did. Spinal Tap shark sandwich. They got cooked in the Skibidi toilet. No, it wasn’t that bad. I didn’t think. Oh, financially is what I’m saying. Okay. There were things about the movie. There’s things I like, there’s things I didn’t. Nine year old mocap Seth Green may start to live in my nightmares mares. But yeah, funny you said that.

Well, I have a special affinity with this movie. Because I knew of it before it actually came out. So several years ago, back in 2010, 2011, we were invited to work on a documentary with Dan Fogler, who plays Gribble in the movie. And Mars Needs Moms, right? And so he was making his own documentary called Don Peyote, about his awakening to, like, conspiracy life and going through the trip of, like, trying to be an entertainer, trying to live in New York City, trying to be Jewish, and also waking up to all of these, like, conspiracy theories.

So on the side, he was making this documentary of his life, and we go to his, you know, set or his house, and we’re explaining about Disney. And I have in my Weird Stuff book, like, this chart of all of these movies I have listed. And I said, what is all these movies have in common? And the commonality was they always killed the mother. So, like, Bambi, I mean, there’s. The list is so long, if you think about it. And now that I’ve, like, open. Unlocked that part of your brain, you’re like, why do they always, like, kill the mother? So I was talking about Disney because he was like, you know, what do you do? And I said, well, we.

We do a lot of critique of, you know, pop culture and Disney. He’s like, oh, I’m making a Disney movie right now. And I said, oh, okay, what’s it about? And what’s it called? He said, mars Needs Moms. And I was like, another, like, movie about motherhood. And, you know, the female cycle, which we write about in Disney, is a lot of times, like, handicapped in the maternal cycle. So you have your virgin and your crone a lot in classic Disney, but, like, the mom is a lot of times taken out or she’s replaced by wicked stepmother or witch or something else.

So, yeah, that’s how I first ever heard of this movie. So there’s some lore for you guys when we usually talk about a very similar principle that we. We didn’t create this name, but the Disney Proxy, which is essentially that you separate the protagonist from an authority figure. Often it’s the mom. You separate them, and then you throw in the sidekick. And the sidekick represents something that supplants your mom. And when I say your mom, I mean you as the viewer, when you’re watching this, especially if you’re five or six or seven, you actually identify this new character as an actual authority figure in real life because you’re still sort of determining the difference between real and fake.

And if real mom and dad are out of the room because they’re you know, doing laundry or taxes. Then this, this sort of like proxy becomes your actual mom for the next hour too, which probably does a significant impact on your. Your small budding brain. And this one is kind of weird because, yes, the protagonist gets separated from the mom, but in this one, the mom is the one that gets kidnapped. And usually in Disney, it’s the kid that gets kidnapped and has to find their way back to the parents, or the parents are finding their way back to him.

This one does sort of invert that a little bit. A little bit. He still crawls on the spaceship and his name is kind of keeps being taken against his will, so. Right. Well, on the surface, it’s just kind of like a tale of gratitude towards all the things that your mom does for you because in the opening scenes, she’s a good mom. And so these Martians, this matriarchy of Martians is scanning the universe looking for good mothers to program their nanny bots. Right? And so she gets chosen because she is a good mom. And the whole plot, you know, ensues where he has to go rescue her.

But I couldn’t figure out if this had a pro matriarchy or anti matriarchy message. It’s kind of interesting. The father was the absent one in this Disney movie. A little. A little bookish. Yeah, but. Well, yeah, I mean, a massive storm outside of your airport and the airplane is not going anywhere. I mean, what can you do, you know? Right. But. But he was. He had some event and dad was supposed to be there for the event. I mean, I’m just. It a little bit. And I would forgive most people listening if they haven’t actually seen this movie because I didn’t even.

It must have just come out and went by when I was, you know, in like a drunken stupor at this point. What was happening in 2011? I don’t know. We. We didn’t go see. I was getting ready for the end of the Mayan calendar, so I think. And actually I was. This was when I was starting on my. My comic series because I launched in 2012. So I was deep into MK Ultra and Project Monarch research at this point. I would have. I think I would have enjoyed this movie, but. So you kind of summarized the plot already.

The basic premise is that Mars needs moms, literally, because they have this. This ultra matriarchal society. And I think that might even be misconstruing it, but it’s run exclusively by women and they kidnap human mothers that. I guess it’s. They’re Good moms. But the only time they quantify what a good mom is to them, it’s that the kids do what they say. So as long as mom behavior kind of felt like no good deed goes unpunished sort of message under the surface, which is a little weird, you always want to leave a little room for improvement for that reason.

And so they steal moms, and then they point this weird beam at them. So when the sun rises on Mars, it vaporizes the mom. And in this process, it confers all of her mommy knowledge onto the rest of these alien nanny bots. And the nanny bots take care of the children, and the dads are discarded because they like to hug and dance too much. And that’s. That’s basically the premise of the movie. They steal this kid’s mom to vaporize her and use her to train a nanny bottle to just keep this civilization on Mars going. Right.

Did you notice when he. He notices that they’re abducting mom, so he does a stowaway on the ship to Mars. It does a hyper jump because the trip is very fast. It’s almost instantaneous once he gets out of the atmosphere. And then they go through a wormhole, and then they’re instantly landing on Mars. So they’ve got some wormhole technology up there on Mars. They play. Yeah. Loose with the physics in this one. I guess it fits with the. The Martian technology of having no color. But the fact that it was a colorless warp blast, I was like, oh, come on, give me.

Give me a psychedelic effect, which, you know, would obviously key. The. The psychedelic alien lady would. Would love that. So, you know, I get it. That part I would. I would love to understand a little bit more because it doesn’t make sense that they would be devoid of color. There’s this weird B plot where there’s a hippie alien that saw some sort of a 1970s hippie TV show and is now obsessed with introducing color. And she’s like tagging and spray painting color all over the place. But if you were an advanced civilization that had all this technology just through burning and incinerating different materials and chemical reactions, you would see all these brilliant colors all the time.

They don’t. They don’t really explain. Why is there no color allowed? Well, I think they’re insinuating is that the split between the male and female dynamic has taken all of the color from the world because they throw the males down the trash chute, right? And they’ve broken up the Martian nuclear family. And so all the Males live this very primal existence in the trash layer in the man cave. Yes, literally. They live in like the man dungeon down there. And so in their way they have developed this like tribal empathy. Whereas above the women live a very like structured, robotic, disciplined, colorless existence.

That’s a good point because the males that live in this trash dungeon, they have all this colorful clothing on and all these like, they’re the ones that wear color while the matriarchy above is. It’s all just gray and mech stuff. I mean there’s, there’s all the left brain, right brain stuff which sometimes like male female stuff and they seem to be kind of flipping that, which that’s kind of fun because usually it’s like, you know, in any given thing, the manic pixie dream girl thing which we have here in alien form but you know, more creative and stuff.

And, and then the dad is the colorless guy. He’s you know, stuck at the airport in the movie, but he’s colorless on earth. But the, the, the men on Mars are colorful and. Yeah, I don’t know where I’m going with that, but a little bit of an inversion. Well, there’s something weird on this one where I, I feel like it’s unintentional, but this is the most anti woke Disney movie in modern history that I’ve ever seen. Because the implication is that you need a nuclear family. You need a mom and a dad. You can’t just have a mom and you can’t just have a dad.

You have to have both. And there’s lots of reviews on this movie that are basically saying, you know, this is violence, this is on anyone that doesn’t believe in nuclear family. This is a. Not to do some of my production stuff. It is. And it isn’t a Disney movie. It’s another one of those. So this comes from Robert Zemeckis, you know, motion capture stuff, which is light image movers digital. They made two films. This one, I think the other one actually was yeah, Christmas Carol. So the only thing that this actual production company did was A Christmas Carol on this one.

And after this the bottom fell out because, well, fourth by the way, I qualified by saying fourth largest Hollywood bomb in history financially. It actually says fourth largest without saying Hollywood. So a big qualifier there. Another thing that’s kind of interesting for the production is this comes from. I’m not going to say, I don’t know if I’m saying his name correctly, but I’ve been reading his stuff for 40 years. Berkeley breathed, Breathed I don’t really know how to say his name because he’s a writer. Right. You don’t hear his name said much. In the 80s he did the Bloom county comic strip which I read and as a 8 year old in the 80s, first learned about Donald Trump from reading about him in the Bloom county comic strip in the 80s he’s turned into a cat at one point.

But anyway, after that strip he tried some other stuff. This was kind of like a children’s book which was supposed to be quirky and weird. Like his comic strips were was the basic vibe. You know, he’s kind of riffing on. On the title of the. I think it’s 1967 film Mars needs Women. So you know, a little bit of a pop culture joke, kind of going for at style. So this did start from kind of a surrealist cartoonist, you know, thing and then, then Roberts and Mekis’s weird most motion capture obsessions. I don’t believe he directed this one.

Who directed this one? Well, I won’t tell you now because I accidentally closed the page, but I’ll get back to that soon. You were going to say something about the anti woke nature of this, Jamie? Well, this movie deals a lot with inversion of roles. And what happens like when you remove the father from the household in the beginning is that she’s taking on the disciplinarian and the caretaker role. So this puts her out of like sweet mom into, you know, stern father. And then they also invert these. Well, like as in the. It would usually be the men who would have an army.

Right. Or a authoritarian type of structure. Not the women are not usually typically like that. Also with the key I think was her name. She ended up being the more of the action hero than Gribble. Right? Yeah, that’s a great point. Gribble was sort of a facade. Everything that he says is kind of a lie and created. But I get the idea that he’s lying to himself just as much as he’s lying to anyone else. He talks about that he was in Reagan’s secret space astronaut program and that he was fighting space communism and that Mars was communist and that’s why it’s called the Red Planet.

I loved all of that dialogue. And I wonder that it sounds like something that he constructed around himself. Well, Gribble is interesting because he’s an arrested development character. I mean he’s stuck in whenever he was put on Mars, what a 10 year old boy to a 12 year old boy. So he now he’s a grown man. With still that type of psychology because he’s only had his imagination to raise him and all of his little gadgets and things. And he just keeps talking about 1980s, early 1990s, pop culture stuff, pop cards. Like everything that he mentions, it kind of has like a Ready Player one quality to it.

So he’s about the same mentality as the boy. Oh, yeah, good point. So they can relate a little bit. Yeah, it’s interesting. Disney kind of tried a few strains of this again. A year later they do another Mars movie, John Carter. I think it’s a pretty good movie myself. But that was like. I think maybe even that might be 1, 2 or 3 on the flop list. Like it was. Did even worse than this. And then you go three years later and we have Guardians of the Galaxy with kind of the same setup as a Gribble where Star Lord was taken from his family and his grown to adulthood amongst the aliens.

And, you know, hasn’t talked to another human in 20 something years. Gribble, it seems like, what’s 80s? At least 25 years. You know, he developed. He at least developed past Mullet, so good for him on that. But. Well, you can’t have an occult show without talking about the Aeon of Horus, which is Mars, or warfare, which is what Crowley thought that we would be coming into in this time. So you. You can look at all the. The Mars movies. Like you said. John Carpenter was that one. John Carter. John Carter, yeah. Yeah. And. And then you’ve got, you know, Elon wanting to go to Mars and stuff like that.

So this is definitely Aeon of Horror stuff, which is about the crown and conquering child and the mentalities of how children act. So that’s another layer we can put on Gribble and the other character. I forget the little boy’s name. He. He is Seth Row. That. That’s so crazy. Seth Green. I mean, not. Not the voice, the. But did you guys get to the very end of the movie credits and you can see them doing the mocap and. Yeah, I was like, this looks like the worst time making a movie ever. Six months of this looks like hell.

Which, I mean, that made me, like, appreciate their acting because everyone looks like Hellraiser and they’re in this giant room with no features for. And they’re supposed to be fun. And I was like, this looks like that. Like, I actually kind of like the, you know, watching Martian society change montage. That’s where I was like, oh, I guess I’m going to stick with the credits and and the production stuff on this is not that in depth. So that was actually kind of really helpful to figure out like how they did it. And it was, it was just depressing.

But yeah. And you would actually hear Seth Screen’s voice. I was worried watching the movie. They’re not pitch shifting him up, I hope. And they’re not. They, they did get a kid to do the voice. They needed a grown actor to be on set all day. And if you only need the kid’s voice and it would be insane to also have the kid on set. I had that same thought. I was wondering, did they just pitch shift the voice? So I’m glad you cleared that up for me. I didn’t clear that up till after the movie.

So, no, I, I, I’m gonna double down like this and Christmas Carol. Kind of like the poster children movies for the Uncanny Valley and that. And that shot at the end where they do the, before the end credits where they, it just goes right on Milo’s face at the end. And it looks, you know, 80, like a nine year old Seth Graham. Like, that’s the one. I was like, oh, no. Yeah, Uncanny Valley or something. Gribble. I mean, that’s the thing with the whole point of Uncanny Valley is I look at Gribble, I’m like, oh, they did a pretty good job.

But I’m still thinking they did a pretty good job. And the vibe was fun. It was kind of like they took Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi from the Blues Brothers, just kind of smushed them together. Real Dan Aykroyd. Not his Blues Brother Persona. Yeah. Honestly, Gribble is my favorite character in this. Even though he shows up as maybe the closest thing we get to a wise old man archetype. Even though he’s blue. If we’re looking for the same level as the protag, I was definitely thinking some Jungle Book, you know, he’s got a blue vibe. Like, come on, follow.

Yeah, absolutely. He’s got a balloon vibe to him. Definitely. He’s like a steampunk hacker. Well, in his own mind, you know, steampunky and his little companion robot thing. I, I just have to ask if you guys have any idea on this. I couldn’t figure out, what does he eat? What is Gribble eating to keep him his size in Mars as a stowaway this entire time? Probably what came down the trash Martian hatchlings. Well, yeah, that’s what I’m saying though. Trash is they sound like they’re eating pizza and throwing it out. He ate baby boy Martians. Oh, yeah.

I mean, yeah, I. That’s. I guess that’s the implication, right, is that he was eating these discarded alien fetuses Pitai. Well, he. The gravity is different there, so he needed the bulk to, like, you know, not float away. Well, yeah, he’s got all these little quirky inventions as well, but again, they aren’t as impressive as he makes them out to seem. I don’t know. I like him so much because he’s all flaws, but somehow he’s keeping it together and he ends up saving everybody. He saves the kid. He saved the kid’s mom, and he does it selflessly.

He even lets the kid take credit for saving his mom, even though he’s really the one that did it. And he’s like, no, no, no. You did it, bro. You did it. Like, you can have this. Well, he was doing fine till that cheap helmet shattered. Oh, yeah. Hit that thing with a dime, it’s going to break. Yeah, but he. He’s also. Another trope is he’s. He gets two major sequences of man in the chair. Right. And I’m trying to remember when man in the chair became a thing. Like, you mean like Clockwork Orange? Man in the chair.

Oh, not that chair. No, no. Where you got the guy back at home base on the computer, like, I helping. You know, like a Mission Impossible thing. There’s a million of them. Yeah, yeah. And I was kind of wondering when that. Inspector Gadget. Yeah. Because I feel like if you go all the way back to the 60s, James Bond never gets a man in the chair because the technology is not really there yet. He’s got Q. What about, like, the prisoner? Is there a man in the chair in that or. Oh, that’s a deep rabbit hole.

And I’m gonna say no. Okay, yeah, yeah. No, no, that. That. That’s. I love that show. But yeah, I’m thinking the conversation is sort of being like, now, Coppola’s movie is a big thing in the 70s where, like, oh, surveillance technology is like, the plot. And may. I was wondering if that’s the seed of. Because here it’s just like, you know, this is man in the chair stuff. That’s how it rolls. Well, the above Martian, where the women live is total surveillance police state. Right. And so the creative one key, I think, is her name. She gets programmed, if I recall, by the television of Earth of, like, the 60s and the flower children and that era of, like, acid.

So she gets clips of that era of TV shows and that, like, creates her creative thinking. She becomes like a little Banksy almost, right? Tagging up the above ground with her murals. Her rainbow murals that you were talking about. Yes. She catches a rogue broadcast of an American television show. I think it’s either from the 70s, or it’s themed as though it’s from the late 60s, early 70s, and it’s called Freaks on Our Street. If I understand what I was watching, and I’ve got my own bias, but I understand the small clip of what she’s seeing is that these two or three hippies dose a couple of cops, and then the cops end up spray painting their own police van.

And like, oh, man, look at these cool colors. You know, that’s a chamomile or something. And then it zooms out and it shows these freak brothers kind of. I assume it’s like a freak brothers nod, and they’re laughing at these cops that they just dosed and they’re going, yeah, flower power, man. It’s gonna change the world, man. And that’s what she. What key ends up picking up on. She picks up on this counterculture of dosing the authority figures and having them destroy their own authority somehow by opening up their mind. I know I’m reading a little bit into that, but it was such a weird B plot that I’m still trying to.

To put together. I definitely want to watch Freaks in the Street. That sounds like an awesome show. Well, even her slang and stuff, she talking in Earth, you know, groovy. And she even says, turn in, tune in, drop out at one point, which is a Timothy Leary. Oh, I think, I think I wrote down. Oh, what was the. The way that she says it was actually just a weird explanation of it. Yeah, well, she. So, so she was asking a question. As soon as she notices that there’s this human child that she’s making contact with here in Mars.

The first things that she asked, like, oh, my God, you’re a human. What do you turn on? How do you tune in? What do you drop out of? Like, she wants to understand how important. But yeah, she’s just reciting a Timothy Leary quote back to this kid. He doesn’t know what the hell is going on. Yeah, I did. Like, how the. Because, you know, Gribble stuck in the 80s. All his references are from the 80s. It’s bad, right? And then. And then near the end of the movie, Milo says something like super coded to, you know, aughts or whatever, right? So they’re very much saying, like, here’s three different views of culture, which I.

I don’t. I mean, I don’t even know what that means, really saying it, but it’s there. That’s a very good point. I made a list of the way that this kid, like, quantifies what his mom is. And I just thought this, because this is the writers as well, putting this in there. Either what they think or what they think this protagonist is thinking, therefore the audience. But the way he defines his mom is the lady that washes his clothes, the lady that vacuums the house, the lady that tucks him in at night. And I was just wondering.

This is him trying to describe to these male aliens, where’s my mom? Does he not know how to describe her physically? Or. It’s just. It’s a weird way of going through. And then he starts getting a little bit deeper into this later in the movie and says that the mom’s the one that takes care of him, tells him what to do, which is that authoritative figure that you were talking about, Jamie. Like, the dad is out of the picture, at least for the context of this movie. So she also tells him what to do. She’s kind.

She takes him to Disneyland because you have to slip in, you know, like that. That’s the ultimate reward is to, you know, pay money to Disney that she reads to me. She makes me hot chocolate, and she puts bandages on my cuts. And this is, like, exactly how he’s qualified, quantifying his mom to this alien race. Gribble will endanger a child as much as he wants to. I’ll. I’ll tell a cute story just because my mom. It’s one of those things where my mom will never let me. Let me. Let me forget about when I was 2 or 3 years old.

So I. I said that speech to her in about five words. You. You work. You don’t play. Apparently I said that when I was 2 years old. Yeah, well, actually, there’s some truth to that in the movie because they do have a lot of themes of, like, domestic labor. And because when we get to the end, the matriarch Martian lady has this meltdown about chores and how the men never help do anything. Do you remember that? So you’ve got. Is what her nickname is in the. Yeah, the Supervisor. And so when he’s describing all of these things about his mom, you’re right, it was all just chores and things that she does for him.

So that was part of his, you know, mental advancement, is to realize, oh, she’s actually also a person and not just something that serves Me. Right. But he. It’s. We’re watching him in real time, figure that out for himself, which is. I don’t know. It’s. I wonder how many kids are leaving the movie theater. Like, I love you, Mom. Like, I didn’t understand. Thank you, Disney. This, like, family dynamic, to me, in a way that was foreign. Nobody. Apparently, they all went to see Battle Los Angeles, which also was released this day. And I wonder, because, Jamie, you were.

You kind of asked the question, is this patriarchy? Is it. Is it pro matriarchy, anti matriarchy? What do you think? Do you like. How does it come across? Actually, very balanced, because. So once Key and Gribble hook up, they find the caves of the true Martians before the males and females were split up. So it was a very colorful place. It reminded you of, like, the caves in Snow White with all the glittering jewels in the walls and stuff like that. And they find this icon, really glowing icon of a family, the mom and the dad and the child.

And they’re like, this is how Martians used to live before the great schism of male and female. I. I almost want to see that movie. I want to see the movie in which the first old crone alien Mars. Like, this is war. We are now gonna throw you into the garbage. And if we have any male children, we’re also throwing them into the garbage. It seems like there had to have been some sort of a violent uprising in their past, because even towards the end, Gribble faces a literal firing squad. Like he is. He’s going to get shot and die in this Disney movie, which maybe this.

Is this the first firing squad in any Disney animated movie we’ve seen so far. I think it might be. Well, they literally killed his mom right in front of him. Well, they. They. Well, if I understand correctly, they vaporized his mom in front of him. But it was no different than how they vaporize any other mom. When they turn them into these nanny bots or when they’ve just lost their use for the mom. They just put them in this glass bubble with. I’m gonna simplify it. Like a big magnifying glass so the sun comes up and it zaps them.

But I don’t. I don’t think that they try to kill Gribble’s mom in front of him intentionally as any sort of punishment or threat. It was just. That’s just how we do things around here. They didn’t know he was watching. Yeah. So we got a flower child dream underneath where the. Where the guys live. We’ve got basically Star wars on the surface with even less color because there was one set I was like, that looks like the Star Destroyer when they’re doing the prison thing. I’m like, this feels like the Death Star thing from the first movie, Things like that.

I do wonder if Disney was just like kind of having an. Getting that itch for Star Wars. You know, they’re about to buy it in a year or two, so. And they’ve been trying to get the boy audience, which Mars Needs Moms is not the best title for that. But boy protagonist. Here’s some Star wars looking stuff for you. But I was working Back to the Bubble and I was like, well, that’s not really Star wars looking. I was like, that does seem like nightmare fuel. It’s like a dolly painting. Like doesn’t quite make sense. But in this case, dolly paintings are usually not like directly threatening where obviously your mom being hooked up in the machine get fried is like the, you know, like a Kafka story or something.

There’s one Kafka short story about like a, you know, this giant execution machine that rips you apart through like velvet or something. You know, something like that. Just some surrealistic nightmare. And I thought the basically execution because they’re killing mom for her. Her mom extract or whatever. Right. So I was like, what, what? That is a notable image. Like that’s the image from this movie I’m going to remember like in a few months when I’ve forgotten everything else. Well, I, I want to understand that technology too. Like could we vaporize Matt and, and all sort of inherit Matt’s knowledge? Like anyone.

Why would you waste such a great invention on just random earth moms? Like, why wouldn’t they kidnap, you know, the greatest minds and then vaporize those and turn those into the nanny bots? Einstein couldn’t change a diaper. Well, yeah. That device wasn’t just a death machine or a torture thing. It transferred your consciousness into a bot. But only certain parts of it, right? Only like the, the robotic caretaking parts. Yeah, to me. So this is kind of like does the transporter kill you in Star Trek? Sort of question. But the vibe I was getting was mom is going to be dead.

And it’s just using, you know, it’s like energy, vampire stuff going on or something. Right. I do my Twilight Zone podcast. We just did Queen of the Nile where it’s like 1960s and Cleopatra is still around. She looks 38 and you know, she’s just like man traps people, poisons them and Then brings out her scarab to suck their life energy away. You know, that kind of thing. Well, this feels like the AI version of. Of transhumanism, where it’s not necessarily. You do not get the impression that mom is elevating to some new higher consciousness or that now there’s a whole bunch of bots that have mom consciousness in them.

Like you were kind of saying. They just kind of get trained on the. The physical memory and, you know, sort of just like the workload gets transferred. So now they can vacuum and change the diapers and all this stuff without the love component. Because none of the aliens understand love, which is the probably the other most tired trope in these Disney movies or in any movies where humans interact with some other species. And that’s what makes us unique because we kind of suck at everything else, but we’re like, oh, we kind of love thing. Well, yeah, so even the Nanny Bots is something that has to be replenished because they overwork them.

And so there’s some kind of metaphor for, you know, mom is a woman too, that needs care and rest, just like anybody else in the family. Don’t they say it’s a one to one ratio? A Nanny Bot can take care of one Martian, and then they’re. They’re no good anymore. Yeah, yeah, they get expended. After the Nanny Bot takes care of one human child or one alien child, then, yeah, they just toss them and they need another mom. Which also sounds like you would have certain vintages, right? Like. Like one wave of Nanny Bots are going to be objectively better or worse than the next wave because they’re taking them from different moms.

And that means we now we know you need at least. Oh, let’s. Let’s say this is the only part of Martian civilization you need. What, 10,000 moms a year? Probably that. A few. A few hundred, I guess you can disappear a few hundred people a year, which is horrible. But they didn’t really say what actually Martian civilization was for after the schism. Like, the. All the women, it looked like, just. Just joined the army, but there was no opponent, and there was. The only thing they do is just procreate more females. I mean, it seems like they were slowly eradicating females of other planets.

I mean, this is the lower out there. Okay, good point. Or at least all the good ones, right? Maybe they were trying to weaken the human race by taking all the best of the moms, taking their abilities, using them to raise their own progeny and then kill that Mom. So that the now the Earth is just like, over time gets crappier and crappier parents because they keep disappearing. The long game. There we go. Which does sound like maybe a traditional matriarchy. Because. Because my limited knowledge, if you get, like on classical matriarchy, I’m thinking of Frasier golden bow style, where it doesn’t.

Matriarchy doesn’t necessarily mean that women run the show. It just means that power is transferred through, like, the. The women. Like, instead of a patriarchy where everything is nepotism, where if your dad did something, then you get to do his thing and he passes it down in a matriarchy, since it goes down through the. The females. This is supposed to invite outsiders and merits. And it’s. It’s almost. It’s almost been compared as a meritocracy versus straight up nepotism. But I don’t know if we see that here, because no one. Because there’s no one fighting against the alien women.

Right. Like what. Who are their natural enemies? The men. Oh, unforgiving landscape. They have to be in military form in case the men decide to rise up. And I don’t know. And just on my own observation, the men in this movie are nowhere near the level of rising up. They seem pretty content. Yeah. They even got. It’s not. It’s not ideal, but there’s not a rebel army of men. They’re not arming up. They’re not. There’s not like a secret faction. You just go down and just like, hey, we love it here. We’re dancing and we’re hugging and we’re singing and no one’s bothering us.

That’s kind of the entire premise of it. While we’re looking at inversions, I guess that’s kind of a reverse time machine, you know. Now you got the Eloy living underground, and the Mortlocks are kind of above ground, you know, so Orlocks are now shiny and clean. The Eloy are now dirty and weird. They. When. When they first go to that cave. They do seem wonderfully alien, by the way. And, yeah, it was like. It was like turning the Predator into a plush toy or something is what they kind of look like to me. Or what’s the narrative machine vibes? It definitely felt.

Aesthetically, it looked like time machine a bit. Yeah. She had an interesting figure. He did. And all the Martian girls have that big rump shape like in the Incredibles. The mom. Oh, right, right. With horse legs. Like, they have legs. Yeah. Is that why I thought Holly Hunter was doing the voice then had to look in the. Oh no, it’s junkie’s side. But so yeah, she’s got the back jointed legs like some kind of goat or a fawn or kind, you know, an animal would have. And I don’t know if you all remember that music video ET with Katy Perry and Kanye west about Mars and ET extraterrestrials.

I’m blanking on it a little bit. This is your homework for tonight. Go watch ET by Katy Perry and Kanye West. But in that video, Katy Perry has the lower half of her body is the animal with the animal legs. So back in the day we were all reading into that like, oh, this is baphomet and stuff like that. But it could also be there is going to be some cross species love in this because Gribble and Key fall in love. So maybe in the future on Mars there’s going to be an Earth DNA introduction element.

What do you think? Well, again, this is like this weird, unintentional anti woke premise for a Disney movie. But it’s almost implying that gender conformity is more important than conforming to your own species. That as long as a male and a female get together, that’s. That’s the only equation that really matters amongst the context of everything else going on. Yeah, because the females are all together and there is no love. None of them love each other and underneath the dudes are all partying, having a good time, but there is no love. Mars has no love. To be alone is without the crazy love thing.

That is Milo’s line. That’s interesting because the males, even though they have the love, they don’t have any semblance of responsibility or like structure or cleanliness or you know, discipline. Basically anything that keeps things running in a smooth way, which the females have. But it’s extreme, right? So they’re both kind of. Do they, do they make sure that the males even stay alive? Like why not vaporize entirely? They’re not that cruel. You can’t make it. I thought we were doing like brave new world stuff. Centrifugal, bumble puppy, all that, you know, is this all artificial insemination in this, this world of the Mars aliens go cruising down the trash pile and pick one out when they want one.

They grow out of the ground like potatoes, right? Yeah. Summer boys and some are girls. So they can’t really Stop. Stop it. Here’s a question just on my viewing. So before I saw the actual filming at the end, it was like, oh my God, that looks like a Bad time. I read, spent a day. The actors just spent a day sitting around making up words and then they compiled what they thought sounded good into like an alien language. Now, the way I watched the movie, when they were doing the alien language, it was just an alien language.

There were no subtitles or anything. Did I get. Did I watch same? Yeah, I. I tried a few different captions out and none of them showed what they were actually saying. So I think that was intentional. Yeah, it’s interesting they do that for a kids film. Like I said, in Japan, I never see animated films because they never show them with English or with Japanese subtitles. They’re just gonna be dubbed. Right. Because they’re like, kids don’t want to deal with that. So just throwing a weird gibberish out there with no subtitles might be off putting. I think it’s fun.

I watched Galaxy Quest with a Thermidian track on once. Watch the whole movie. This movie also ends with an alien baby peeing on the supervisor’s face. I just wanted to point that out too. I think that might be another first in Disney history. I don’t think we’ve just did before, but we’ve never seen it quite that literally and directly. I mean, you get a nice 2 second stream of urine into that lady’s face. Well, I thought they were pretty fair to the Supervisor if she was the one that caused the schism, because she was the one that had the rant about how it was before, how they had to do everything and the males didn’t help.

And then she’s the one changing the diaper now and it. And it pees in her face. Yeah. Isn’t that what happens anyway, though? Because if. If they sort of exile all the males, then they still have to do all the work. Right. But only for half of the population. Oh, that’s. That’s a good point. Because it would only be the male alien baby that would pee on her face. It wouldn’t be. Right. So she’s. She’s kind of having to face quite literally the exact thing that she was complaining about. Yeah. Which, Yeah, I mean, you can kind of see it when she’s like, no, don’t change things back.

I hated that stuff. You know, that’s why I did all these horrible things to make. Make this happen. Sacrifices were made. I made a utopia for myself. So what, her role as the old crone too, kind of makes sense that she would hate babies because she herself cannot have children, which is what makes her have so much contempt for this at Least that. That’s the crone archetype. Right. So that’s perfect that her interacting with a baby. There’s nothing good that could ever come of that because she is the crone thing. Yeah. And that scene is very down with the matriarchy of Mars.

I. I was reading a few of the. The modern reviews of this movie over like the last, I don’t know, three to five years. The best short description I heard was It’s a J. J.D. vance fever dream. That. That’s what this movie is. That’s funny. Well, the rising sun is what kills the mom when she’s. Her consciousness is transferred into the nanny bot and occult. You know, esoterically, the sun would be the male and the moon is the female and the sun is the solar phallic symbol. So that is also killing the. The female in this movie.

Great point. Yeah. The. The male energy disintegrates the. The feminine energy. Like literally it vaporizes her. So I guess that’s like the male being like the solvent. Right. Solve a. And then the. The female is kind of like the coagulant. The coagula. So you’ve got like the. As above the sun rising above and then sort of, you know, dissolving her in back into the earth. Or I get what happens to the actual body. It does. I mean, not Earth. Right. Mars. She goes back into the Mars. Yeah. Dust of Mars is made from moms. Of course we have the other.

We have the actual sun also rising to become his, you know, Disney action hero thing and, and take charge of the situation. So I think you could also parallel that if you wanted to. Good point. He’s the man of the house now that his dad is absent in this adventure. Right. Because when they go home, they’re like, oh, what happened this weekend? They’re like, nothing. It’s like, well, technically you just had one of the more fantastical experiences in human existence and. And now you’re going to keep that to yourself. You know, like, I feel like it’s not a happy household that they both know that we need to keep this from dad.

That dad will not react well if we tell him that we went to Mars again. Daddy doesn’t like that. Or maybe he just doesn’t have the mental fortitude to accept such a fantastical possibility. He’ll be like, you guys are crazy. They. They don’t trust dad with the information of the truth. I guess the whole problem started. There’s a certain point where people, many people at least you know, their parents become like people Just other people. And I mean, they’re still your parents, but you do you understand them as real people. You don’t. When you’re a kid, you understand them how Milo is explaining it.

Right. Which is a very juvenile, childish way to do that. By the end of the movie, I think he at least understands that his mom is a real person now. But dad is still kind of a caricature that we’re not going to tell this stuff to. It gave me. What was it? Mary Poppins is the other Disney movie that comes to mind about immediate gaslighting. When something completely fantastical happens and then you go and, and try and talk about it again. And the people that were there all say, no, no, that never happened. No, no, no, that.

None of that’s true. That. That the only other movie that really I remember happening in is Mary Poppins. And she does that to the kids. Oh, that’s right. Have you all done that one? We have. That’s one of my favorite ones. Okay. That’s my favorite too. Oh, I did an article on that for a magazine recently that just came out called Cultural Engineering Studies. You guys might like that. But it was all about Mary Poppins and P.L. travers and mysticism, Gurgief and theosophy and everything they were involved with in. There’s a lot of like, interesting imperialism nods in that movie.

It’s all about banking. Right. The dad’s a banker. He’s like losing his job and he gets his job back and he’s doing well. And the neighbor next door is a retired imperialist traveler. He’s kind of like one of these Tarzan type guys that would go out into the jungle and when they see him, he says that he’s going to go and find some Hottentots, which also feels like maybe not a cool word that you can say in 2011. And speaking of the. The other anti. The unintentional anti woke thing is that Gribble, when he first meets the kid, he’s like, honest engine.

He’s making some sort of a promise and he goes, honest engine. And I was just thinking, man, this might be the, like, you could pinpoint the exact moment in which Disney hits the. The peak of what. What they’re willing to put into a dialogue and what people react to. Because after this one, again, I don’t think there was someone in the writers room that’s like, I’m gonna make this about the nuclear family and I’m gonna put these offensive phrases. I just think that this was the last time that anyone could claim ignorance because as soon as this movie came out, it met a lot of this kind of backlash for putting some of these themes being so central.

And that’s when maybe Disney was like, whoa, we didn’t realize there was this whole market here. Let’s lean into that. We can probably market to these people that are so outraged. You. You using the word hot and taught, by the way, reminded me that I learned that word from the Bloom county comic strip written by the guy that wrote the story for this. So I guess that was a word he liked a lot. And so I’m guessing that’s probably in the book. But then I was kind of thinking about how that story developed. And that comic strip eventually ends up mostly focusing Opus, the penguin, who was.

Does not know his family or anything, right? And there’s. There’s part where he goes looking for his mom. He needs mom and goes to Antarctica. It’s just a bunch of penguins. He eventually finds his mom is being tested on the Mary Kay cosmetics testing labs and breaks her out or whatever. But. And then. And then there’s all this kind of sentimental stuff and the Bloom county stuff, you know, Opus hugging his mom and stuff. So I was just thinking that’s definitely some. This vibe is this guy’s vibe too. Maybe that’s where it feels a little different from the general Disney vibe is because we’re getting a lot of this specific creator’s vibe.

Just like a, you know, like, like with. With the Doug guy or something. Some of it comes through even after it’s been Disney fight. There was another really weird one liner and I just couldn’t figure out who it was for. Definitely wasn’t for the kids. Was it for the moms? But the kid says something to the effect of Mars needs Botox. And I just imagine they left a little gap there for like some Snickers in the audience. But is that was a joke just for the moms in the audience, I assume. It was so weird how it was shoehorned in because it’s when they.

When they see, I think the Supervisor and they see the supervisor’s old wrinkly clone crone. And the kid’s like, oh, Mars need, like, you know, he knows that Mars needs mom and he says Mars needs Botox. That’s one of the. He has to make the really up to date references, man. And Gribble makes. Gribble makes the 80s references and he makes the 60s and ones, right? So I kind of feel like that was someone in the. That feels like writer’s Room. Like, we want to code these characters to different eras. So he’s got to talk about Botox.

Yeah, and that’s definitely anti crone propaganda. Like, women are somehow evil after a certain age or undesirable. Or they turn wicked if they have wrinkles. Oh, yeah. Not necessarily. As long as they get Botox, then they don’t become any of those horrible things. If you don’t get older, then you’ll stay virtuous forever. The other solution here is Gribble. Gribble could have hooked up with a supervisor, and that also would have, like, you know, purified her of being the old crone. So I was just checking where Hollywood forgets about actresses once they hit 40. So I just looked at Joan Cusack’s filmography, and that’s generally what happens since this movie.

She’s done about 15 things before that. It goes on for like, 50 things. So, yeah, and a lot of what she does now is voice work. She does more voice work now. So, yeah, she kind of had that occur, unfortunately, because, you know, they do Toy Story. They have to get it right. She does. She’s Jesse, the. The cowgirl who has nothing to do in three or four, but whatever. They still need her voice. Those are terrible. Anyway, I’m looking forward to three the most. I’m very looking forward to that breakdown because. Yeah, my daughter’s exactly age or I haven’t seen Three is the one I’ve seen the most because I’ve seen it like, 20 times.

Right. So I saw that one in the. What was that? Is that the one where they’re being donated and they almost end up burnt? Correct. Yeah. That’s Toy Story 3. Yeah. In my opinion, that is the most insidious Disney movie that I’ve ever seen. More. More than any. More than Dick Castles and more than sex in the sky and teaching lions to eat bugs. Because it makes you. The whole premise of Toy Story 3 is that these toys have actual souls. They’re talking to children now in the audience. Your toys have actual souls. And if you donate them or throw them out or let anything happen to your material possessions, actual, like a soul is at risk here.

Something is going to be lost from reality. And it’s such a weird thing to put that on kids. Like, not, like, now. You have to be responsible for every one of your GI Joe’s souls, which is kind of a weird sort of weight to put onto a small child teaser. For next week, we’ll extend that rant to two hours. Yeah, that’s pretty much It. Yeah. That’s so crazy. It reminds me of, like, Chucky, too, in a way that you don’t want your toys having consciousness of their own because they could also be evil. I’m just scanning through my notes, which I’m mostly just like.

Oh, we get a titular line where I think Gribbler says, mars needs moms at some point. Right. Again, it was. It was a little bit shoehorned in, like, where you hear, oh, they said the name of the movie in the movie. I see what you’re doing. I’m pretty. I’m still anti broccoli in my mid-30s. For three years, I was like, okay, I’ll eat broccoli in three years. I ate it. And then I was. One day I was like, I really don’t like this. No, you’re crazy. I love broccoli. I’ve always loved it. Back off the broccoli train.

I think they say there’s, like, a gene that makes broccoli taste, like, a different way. So. Or something. So that might be the issue I’m having because it. Yeah, some people don’t like cilantro, and some. Okay, I’m down with cilantro. I’ll do that. You know what? It tastes like soap to me, but I also like it. Is that weird? Okay, like, it absolutely tastes like soap, but I like the way that it tastes like soap. Okay. When Milo loses his helmet, when it shatters, did y’ all kind of like just for a minute, just have total recall go through your mind? Like, his head? I was waiting for.

For that to start happening. Oh, his eyeballs to pop out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, fast and loose with the physics in this movie. They do this in John Carter, too. John Carter has superpowers because he’s on Mars. And. And to a certain extent, that works. But this kid takes two, like, massive drops into garbage. And I’m like that. Even with the reduced gravity, that’s going to screw you up. You know, you’re going to get a few shattered bones from that, the very least. Well, what’s interesting is that the Mars is not terraformed on the surface yet, because they still live in these, you know, airless.

Well, they live under oxygen bubbles on the surface, but in the caverns, they could breathe freely. And that was where the atmosphere, the natural atmosphere of Martians was supposed to be at, right? Was like, underground. Another Total Recall thing. The whole thing of that movie is let the crack open the underground chambers to release the oxygen and in that case, terraform. So. Well, but also the the little, I guess, portal on the surface of Mars that opens up and then you go inside Mars and now there’s this livable atmosphere. I didn’t even put that together. Yeah, I guess they don’t need the helmets when they’re under the surface, but the way that the surface, it opens up and then when it closes, it kind of makes this seamless pattern where it looks like it’s still just a barren Mars, which makes it seem like they’re hiding from something.

Like there’s some sort of an external force that they’re aware of. Maybe it’s Earth, maybe it’s the. The Space force that are trying to come and get the moms back, and they’re just avoiding anyone knowing where they’re taking the moms to. But it’s. It’s almost like the movie about the moon being hollow or being this big spaceship. Right. Like it looks like this organic, natural thing. Organic. Maybe not the right word, but like an actual thing versus some sort of a construct is that there are one strain. See, that’s where I was a little disappointed that he was just BSing, because when he brought up secret Space Force, because there’s that whole, whole line, which is a cool name, great name.

Where was it they take you? If you’re skilled at something, you go. You do it for 40 years and then they like, d age you and erase your memory, and now you’re just back where you started. And I was like, oh, maybe that’s where they’re going to go with Gribbler. But that’s not where they went. That’s what they. That’s what they did to Reagan, actually. Oh, yeah. The Secret Nuts were supposed to stop communism throughout the galaxy. Right, Right. This is when he says that Mars is the red planet and that’s why he’s there, to fight communism of Mars.

I. I love that line of reasoning. That was great. I bought into that. We will have to also just check out, like, what kind of tropes, because we’re doing those theme park live action ones, I think, later this year. So Mission to Mars is a, you know, a direct Disney. Here’s our trip to Mars. The real John Carpenter, he did Ghosts of Mars around that time as well. Are you going to the theme park? Well, probably, but no, we’re going to it in podcast form because there’s like five or six movies that, you know, are, like, based on theme park rides, so.

Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, Tomorrowland is good. Tomorrowland, yes. There’s. There’s Eddie Murphy’s Haunted Mansion, which isn’t good. There’s a newer haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean. I mean, now we think it was a big film franchise, but that was a based on a ride, you know, movie. Did you ever play the NES game about. I think it was called just the Ventures of Magnetic Kingdom where you go to each individual ride and there’s a Pirates of the Caribbean mini game and there’s a Space Mountain mini game. And all like each major ride or each major attraction has its own little mini game.

And you’re like, I think you’re Mickey going to all these places. That sounds fun. I think I did for two minutes, but I was already way too old and it was bored, boring, boring. I was bored. This was back when like, even if you were well off, you maybe had like four NES games, you know what I mean, in the catalog, so. Oh yeah, And I, I did just go to the park actually, because I was in Tokyo. And just to follow up last week’s. Last week’s Princess and the Frog, we did the Princess of the Frog and then I wrote Slash Mountain.

Nice. What did you always. Did you see that one? Oh, the live. The new one. Oh, the new one. Okay. Yeah. See these, they came out two weeks ago. And these films, these live action ones just like. Oh yeah. Robert Zemeckis, who produced Mars Needs Moms made a Pinocchio that’s unwatchable. You know, he directed that one too, interestingly enough, right. Mars Needs Moms is a better movie than the new Snow White. And, and the new Snow White is the exact. It is the most woke Disney movie in recent history, whereas this is the least woke movie Disney history and this one technically beat the most woke one.

We’re not going to debate over how much of a. A sliver of a piece of hair it beat it by, but it did seems like it beat it. Well, let’s talk about the Snow White ride I just rode, which is more like the original Florida version where there’s no music, atmospheric sounds, the witch just keeps jumping out and screaming at you the whole time. And when I got off, the people behind me who did speak English, I hear the 9 year old kid go, why did we. Why did we do waste our time on that? That was lame.

I was like, you don’t know what you just wrote. That was awesome. That’s what it was. They do. It’s not quite as terrifying. If anyone knows the original Disney World Snow White ride was like shockingly terrifying because. Which would just jump out at you. It’s screaming the Whole time. Tokyo still does that. They don’t put the witch out quite as fast. If you watch videos, the Florida. I remember that that was the only cool part about it. And it was like kind of at the beginning, I think. So instead of like, ah, now she’s like, ah, you know, a little bit slower.

But yeah, yeah, there was no, no, no Gal Gadot on the, on the ride. They have not put it there yet. I do have three Johnny Depp’s on Pirates, but. And I think, well, I just thought of a great idea that could pull Disney out of its slump. What if they made a Matterhorn live action movie like Pirates of the Caribbean with a yeti, like National Treasure, because those were good. Like, even the sequel of National Treasure and all the pirates movies were good. So if they made a good, like, snowy Himalayan adventure versus, like, you know, yeti and some other mystical things, they probably could make money on that.

I need an honest answer on this. I need an honest answer on this because now when people suggest movies that have Nick Cage in them, and this has nothing to do with the quality of the movie, but I want to know crazy Nick Cage level, is he at 0 or 10? Like, where is he in the National Treasure movies? Oh, he’s up there. Nine at least. Oh, he’s that crazy National Treasure hungry. But his, like, zeal for American history is off the charts. There you go. There we go. I know. I knew. I remember someone just recommended the Weatherman as being a watched American Beauty again for a podcast.

And someone’s like, oh, Weatherman is kind of like a version I like better. And, oh, that’s got Nick Cage. And I was like, I don’t you just recommend the movie? So he liked the quality. I was like, tell me the crazy level. That’s why I need to know. Well, there’s. There’s two different versions of the crazy level because there’s how crazy is Nick Cage being to the other people in the movie world and how crazy is he being to an outside observer, like, as an audience member? And I think that those two are slightly different rankings.

Okay. Yeah. My platonic ideals for crazy Nick Cage is second half of Color out of Space and all of Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans. What was the vampire movie? That, to me, that’s kind of peak crazy Nick Cage. Oh, yeah, yeah. Vampire’s Kiss. Yeah. Oh, that one. Well, he just did one with. With Renfield. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That must be high on the crazy list. He did a good creepy Dracula for sure. You. You mentioned Snow White. And actually, that’s interesting because I saw a correlation to Mars Needs mom and Snow White, because Snow White and Mars Needs Moms, I think, are the only two movies that I can remember where they put the.

The damsel in distress in a glass coffin. That. That motif only ever existed also in the very original Snow White. Right. They put her in this glass bubble and she needs to be rescued from it. And that’s kind of what I was imagining, is that not only is this kid going through, like, a wild Oedipus sort of adventure to go and save mom from, you know, being turned into other people’s moms, but they also give the kid a VR headset of some kind, and it lets him relive being his mom, which has, like, a weird Ed Gein kind of vibe.

He did it. I’m just saying that this could have been how Ed Gein started. We don’t know if he got sent to Mars and how to save his mom. And that’s where the fascination started. Origins. No. Well, they did that. Bates Motel. Okay, okay. Ed Geen ride at Disneyland. Hey, they used to take you by the psycho house on the tram tour at. You know, I think they still do in Hollywood. They still do. We just did that last year. Yeah, I. I believe Florida’s got knocked down for the Hard Rock Cafe or something. Or the Hard Rock Hotel, maybe.

I don’t want one of those. It was like a miniature. Anyways. It. It was just made to look like. As you got closer to it, it still looked like it was in the distance. The one that you’re talking about outside the Hard Rock, but it was like a tiny version of it. Okay, Well, I was 10 years old when we went to Universal, so as much as I do go these Disney parks, I. And we have one in Japan, but it’s in Osaka, so that’s really not close. And then I. It doesn’t look. I mean, I’m sure I have fun.

It just. No, I don’t care as much. Anyone want to dig down a Martian man cave hole for any other points before we start concluding, I just wanted to point out how many firsts I think are in this movie. Maybe if we went back and checked all of our notes. But since Snow White, first woman in a glass coffin. It’s the first reference to Ronald Reagan, I think, by name in any other Disney movie. The first Disney movie where the threat of death by firing squad is very evident. The first Disney movie that seems to actively push a nuclear family narrative, where usually Disney kind of implies the Opposite of that.

There’s there. I guess there’s a lot of other first in this one. The. The Uncanny Valley I would say is probably the worst we’ve seen out of any Disney movie to this point. Which is weird because up came before this. Right. And up since it had a cartoonish look to it didn’t fall into that same trap is am I right about this or this? Because this is 2011. Right. You’re kind of half right. Keep in mind that the primary mover is Image Movers Digital Zemeckis company and he’s producing this movie. So you do this is in the same line as Polar Express and.

And Christmas Carolyn things. It is listing Disney as a production company. So I guess they had their hands in the. In the pot somewhat but it’s. It’s not like a. It’s not as pure. Well I guess Up’s not either though because that was Pixar thinking they might be their own studio now. So. Well to end the tag on to that first Disney movie to make a Botox joke. First Disney movie to imply dosing police officers with psychedelics. Which is maybe one of the. Yeah. And I. And I think it’s the. The very first one like we mentioned when we actually just see a baby pee on someone’s face.

That was mine. I was like first urination in a movie. Was that a humiliation ritual? I think so. And then I was like is it the first cross species relationship? But then I was like I think Ariel would. Yeah. Qualifies that and Beauty and the Beast. So there’s another theme that we’re finding. Fox and the Hound. What did they do? Lady and the Tram. They were both dogs. That was fine. Okay. Different in this case. Who’s Beauty and who’s beast is. Is Grimmer beast or is he beast? Good point. 9 year old Seth Green’s the beast.

I can’t handle that. Oh yeah. The do just have to mention that the voice of the supervisor was. Was it Foul Blucher in the Austin Power movies? Oh okay. I get that now. Mindy Sterling, she. She’s fun and she does a lot of voice work. So I was happy to see her her there. But yeah. Yeah, I guess it’s it. This. This is maybe the last of the. The floundering movies and they took the biggest hit on it money wise too. It is just kind of weird to see a such straw grasping. And I wonder if this is the point where the execs were just like we can’t make.

You’re trying as hard as you can to make the Star wars, but you can’t buy it. You know, this is definitely not what boys want. Right, right. They want real Star Wars. They don’t want this, so. And John Carved approved it again that next year. And like, this movie’s not bad. Bad. I. Am I gonna watch Morris Needs Moms again? Probably not. Why watch John Carter and a much better chance of that. So what movie did Disney nail for boys? Like which. Which was the one that they knocked it out of the park for both Marvel and Star wars, basically.

Well, yeah, they did. They bought their way in instead of creatively. Right. Because even the actual Disney hits a few years later are going to be like, you know, Frozen, Tangled, Moana. Right. Zootopia, I guess has a little bit of a. Oh, we’re not gonna talk. That’s for furries. That’s not. Yeah, okay. That’s her furry. So still not for boys. Okay. So, yeah, you know, Iron Man’s for boys, but they gotta buy it first. I remember young boys liking Lion King a lot. I could see that. But also the Jonathan Taylor Thomas thing I think was there to also get like the girl audience excited.

Yeah, they did. They didn’t learn from that, did they? Because when they started really trying to get that again, they did Treasure Planet. Very cool movie. I. I don’t remember what the story was at all. Atlantis. I think Atlantis is a great movie, but those were not successful movies either. They couldn’t get the boys in for those. Well, and the whole plot of Lion King is, is how to demasculate the. The king of the jungle. Like, how do we. How do we take the king of the jungle and make him eat bugs? That’s. That’s the entire premise of that movie.

Well, if you watch the live action Lion King, it is very skittles coded, let’s say, because it’s about taking him out of his element and going to live with an alternative community outside the boundaries. Who the, you know, the couple. I mean, even the lyrics of the song. And they’re. I’m not making it up. They are alluding that Timon and Pumbaa are married. That doesn’t shock me too much. Yeah, so if they’re married in the first one, that would be another interspecies relationship. Yeah, that’s true. I mean, they might have just not told us in the first one, so.

But also, that’s another. The live action Lion King. Like, is it. I mean, you meant to be emasculating Simba, so. Yeah, Simba goes to live with the alternative community and they don’t want him to go, but he has to return to his, you know, patriarchal duty. Okay. That’s actually the first time I even considered. Huh. Should I look at it? Because I just assumed it was the exact same thing, but it didn’t look as fun. This is different than Mustafa, which is another live action or like real reality version of it, but. Right. Is it a sequel to the Lion King prequel? I believe, because Mufasa’s dead.

Sorry. Spoiler. I haven’t seen it, but yeah, I’d have to be a prequel if that’s his story. Yeah. And just to throw this out there, Disney’s been flirting with interspecial relationships for as long as they’ve been around, I think. I mean, the biggest one for me was always Sword in the Stone where they just turn into animals to bang other animals and then turn back into humans and just like my, like, mess with the minds of this squirrel that he just, you know, encountered. It’s like, I’m a boy now and the squirrel can’t figure it out.

Although we’re at an inflection point on Disney. Now that the tax breaks have gone and you don’t get money for diversity stuff anymore and Snow White doesn’t seem. It seems to have been a turd in the pothole, we might be complaining about Disney stuff being a fascist nightmare in three years. You know, I’m telling you, Matterhorn, the movie would be a hit if you got the right script and cast. I want to see a Disney expendables where it’s like all of the male, you know, roles and they have to do like an expendable style. Like, like super action packed kind of movie.

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