➡ The text discusses a monthly event called “Mormon Monday,” where the author and others discuss various aspects of Mormon culture and beliefs. This particular discussion revolves around a Mormon musical called “Saturday’s Warrior.” The author expresses confusion and discomfort with the musical’s content and presentation, noting its lack of diversity and its portrayal of certain themes. The author also discusses the role of fashion in the musical, noting how it’s used to distinguish between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ characters.
➡ The text discusses a movie that features interpretive dance and explores Mormon beliefs and practices. The movie’s characters question the acceptability of certain behaviors within the Mormon community, such as wearing form-fitting clothes and dancing. The text also delves into the concept of pre-existence in Mormon theology, where spirits choose their parents and life situations before birth. Lastly, it discusses the controversial topic of polygamy, which was once a core part of Mormon teachings but was later abandoned due to government pressure.
➡ The text discusses a movie where a character realizes his hypocrisy in promoting zero population growth through his band’s music, given his large family. The movie also explores themes of reincarnation, the afterlife, and the concept of time in relation to God. The text also mentions a second version of the movie with a more diverse cast and realistic problems. The author compares the two versions and discusses the Mormon beliefs represented in the films.
➡ The story revolves around Jimmy, who initially advocates for zero population but later doubts his beliefs. He tries to return to his family and Mormonism, but his parents misunderstand his intentions. After being pushed out by his father, Jimmy’s life spirals downward, symbolized by scenes of him sleeping in a car and passing out in a restroom. Meanwhile, his twin sister dies, and his mother goes into early contractions with another child. The story also includes references to Mormon doctrine and culture, with some criticism and questioning of the church’s teachings.
➡ The text discusses a recurring joke in two movies about a Mormon character interacting with children under the age of eight. The joke is based on the Mormon belief that eight is the age of accountability, when a child is no longer considered innocent and can be baptized. The text also discusses the characters’ attitudes towards other religions, their use of offensive language, and a strange song about a father’s nose. The author criticizes the lack of character development and the repetition of the same jokes in both movies.
➡ Mormons believe in the Bible as long as it aligns with their narrative. They disregard any verses that challenge their beliefs, such as those suggesting a prophet can be wrong. Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, made several prophecies that didn’t come true, but followers excuse these failures by claiming he was speaking as a man, not a prophet, at those times. This creates confusion about when he was truly prophesying, leading to debates within the religion.
➡ The text discusses the idea of signing up someone for the Mormon church without their knowledge, and the potential effectiveness of this strategy. It also delves into the tactics used by the church to attract new members, particularly in third world countries, by focusing on family values and the promise of eternal family connections. The text criticizes the church’s approach to hiding controversial aspects until after baptism, and the changes made to the Book of Mormon over time. Lastly, it compares the Book of Mormon musical to the movie Saturday’s Warrior, favoring the former for its superior portrayal of Mormonism.
➡ The text is a conversation about searching for a rare item called “Star Child 99” in Salt Lake City. They also discuss a movie called “Saturday’s Warrior” and its connection to Mormonism. The conversation ends with plans for future episodes about mobsters, Vegas, Mormons, and the CIA. They also mention a case involving Lori Valo, who was found guilty of killing her children due to a belief in Mormon theology.
➡ The text seems to express gratitude for overcoming challenges and continuing to succeed despite criticism and lack of support. It uses strong language to emphasize the speaker’s determination and resilience.
➡ The text discusses the history of polygamy in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, highlighting that it was officially ended in 1890 due to political pressure. However, some members disagreed with this change, leading to the creation of fundamentalist Mormon groups. The text also critiques a movie called “Saturday’s Warrior 1989”, noting its inaccurate portrayal of Mormon families and questioning the logic of its depiction of pre-existence.
➡ The text discusses the concept of pre-existence and life choices in Mormon theology, as depicted in a movie. It highlights the belief that individuals choose their families and circumstances before birth, and the confusion this can cause. The text also touches on the humor used in the movie, the portrayal of missionaries, and the cultural practice of quick marriages after missionary service.
➡ The text discusses the strict lifestyle of Mormon missionaries, who are not allowed to contact their families except on specific occasions and are expected to focus solely on their mission and religious studies. They undergo intensive training, including learning new languages, before being sent to various locations. The text also highlights the common occurrence of romantic relationships ending during missions, and the societal pressures within the Mormon community. Lastly, it mentions the concept of predetermined fate in Mormon belief and the guilt associated with straying from the faith.
➡ The text discusses the complexities of Mormonism, focusing on the strict rules and consequences for breaking them, such as being expelled from the church. It also explores the cultural aspects of Mormonism, like the expectation of having large families and the consequences of going against these norms. The text also delves into the portrayal of Mormonism in movies, highlighting the contrast between the ideal Mormon family and the rebellious characters. Lastly, it discusses the passive-aggressive nature of Mormon families and the unusual discipline methods used.
➡ The text discusses a man named Jimmy who feels misunderstood and belittled by his family due to his differing beliefs. Despite his efforts to explain his views, his family dismisses him, causing him to feel frustrated and alienated. The text also touches on themes of condescension, religious differences, and the struggle for acceptance within a family. The author suggests that love alone is not enough to resolve these deep-seated issues, and that open dialogue and understanding are also necessary.
➡ The text discusses a musical that incorporates elements of Mormonism, including its teachings and practices. It highlights the story of a family dealing with their son’s resistance to their faith. The son, Jimmy, is criticized and even physically assaulted by his father for his non-conformity. The text also mentions the use of technology in missionary work and the concept of blood atonement in early Mormon teachings.
➡ The text discusses the cultural expectations within a Mormon family, particularly the pressure to have many children, regardless of financial or mental health circumstances. It also touches on the experiences of Mormon missionaries, who often visit thousands of homes with the goal of converting people to their faith, even if they only manage to convert a few. The text highlights the challenges and pressures faced by individuals within this community.
➡ The text discusses the expectations and responsibilities of being a Mormon, such as paying tithes, volunteering, and being active in the church. It also talks about a story where a man named Jimmy meets an effeminate man named Todd in a park, who later gets converted to Mormonism by two elders. The story ends with a twist when Todd falls in love with Jimmy’s girlfriend at first sight. The text also mentions the concept of “Saturday’s warriors,” which refers to the belief in the imminent second coming in Mormonism.

It’s monthly warmer Mondays. It’s time for the secret handshake. Tune it in and reach through the veil. It’s time for monthly moment Monday. Welcome to another monthly Mormon Monday. Or might just be called Magic Mormon Monday. Some other. Mmm. Just so we want to do maybe more than once a month, we might ramp it up a little bit. I like magic Mormon Monday. That’s cool. And we’re also. We pre record some of these. Sometimes we go live. Very rarely do we ever do them on an actual Monday just because it doesn’t usually work out that way for the title.

And this one we’re actually recording on a Wednesday and we’re talking about a movie about a Saturday and you’re listening to it on a Monday. I know that might be confusing, but it’s not going to be nearly as confusing as the actual plot of Saturday’s warrior, which was introduced to me as. I can’t remember. We were reading something and it came up and it related to being the musical version of a Mormon take on Jesus Christ Superstar, which is like a musical Jesus Christian thing. Now this is a real thing. This is like theology for them.

I don’t think, you know, I understand it a tiny bit more because when I brought it up to Andreas the other night, he mentioned like one part that you have to understand is that these Mormons move away. And I’m talking about Mormons in front of a Mormon, so please correct me. It’s weird to say what Mormons do, but, but, but he was explaining that since Mormons are kind of isolationary, like they, they go and they isolate themselves away from other countries and cultures and everything, that they also kind of have to make their own entertainment. So the fact that this thing.

Cause he was like theatrical release or you said theatrical release and it’s like, I’m pretty sure this didn’t play like where I grew up, but that’s because they didn’t have like a Mormon multiplex. And if you did have a Mormon multiplex, like, what kind of. Can you go multiplex? This goes to the cinemark, bro. Like this was like at the movie house and. But I think they contract like with them somehow because they’re all owned by Mormons too. So out here. And so, yeah, I remember distinctly at a young women’s, young men’s activity, we went and saw this movie and you tortured me.

4 hours of revamping this history yesterday. I was like, when you say 4 hours, it was 2 hours and two long hours, both of them, but 2 hours for the 1989 version. And then there was a crowdfunding that ran in 2016 that made it again. And it’s weird because it’s like the exact same movie, just newer. So they didn’t really add or subtract. So, yeah, it was like 4 hours of mormon musicals. And I’m not even joking or I’m not even trying to kind of be salacious here, but I felt nauseous, and I rarely feel nauseous.

And I didn’t eat anything weird that day for some reason. Just 4 hours of Mormon musical in particular, and I made a note to you, which you might be happy about, but, like, this is the most, like, anti mormon propaganda I think you could show somebody. Like, up until when I saw this, these 4 hours, I was kind of on board. I’m not saying I’m gonna become a mormon, but, like, the pathway was there. It looked a little warm. There’s. I know all the inviting parts. I know all the weird parts before I knew all the other stuff, which is kind of interesting.

So now when someone’s like, oh, that’s crazy, because they do x, y, z, and it’s like, yeah, I know. That’s kind of the cool part. This is. You’re like, I mean, that sounds fun. Yeah. Warrior was like, these people don’t know how to have fun. They don’t know how to make music. They don’t know how to do anything that I find creatively valuable in the movie. They can dance a little bit dancy. They can’t. And it’s a little bit weird because it was just like, how many? Imagine being, like, one of the most blatantly, like, I guess anti homosexual groups make a musical.

Like, where do you go to cast people that are like, it’s. It’s a tiny little pond, and even the fish in that pond are probably gay, pretending like they’re not gay, right? Yeah, no, I’m sure. And then on top of it, the first one is like, there’s no other colors in it. I don’t think. I don’t remember seeing. I can’t know. I actually counted in both movies. In the first one, they had two, and one of them was a bad guy because he was in the ripped denim vest group that was about zero population. And, uh, and then there was one good one in that, too, but it was the one passing the dear John letter.

So he’s kind of a neutral. Yes, it was. It’s very weird that they would even bring up such weird new world. Or when I. When I was looking back at it, I’m like, this song can get your head still. Even though they were like, no, no, we don’t like this agenda, but yet we’re going to sing a whole song about it. And I’m like, that scene seems strange. Okay. They’re not even afraid to talk about the zero population and, like, abortion and, like, that. They made that the premise of the song in the movie, but for some reason, they couldn’t make it, like, good metal or anything.

It wasn’t even. It was like weird partridge family. Like beach boys, you know, singing. But it was the Osmonds or Mormon. They probably did it after that. That’s real. So I’m just being like, if you’ve got a song that everyone’s gonna get upset about and it’s about, like, zero population and, you know, get rid of the rest of the people, that could be, like, a cannibal corpse song or a pantera song or something, and it would have been more on brand. No, no, no. Yeah, I would have liked that better. Well, that’s what I’m saying is maybe, like, the Mormons talk about the worst things that happen, but making, like, rock music is a line too far.

Like, we can’t actually do that far. No, no, we definitely cannot do that. No, they would note do that. They. They are very, um, sing song about everything. If you. I challenge you to go back and listen to any conference in the last two years, lds, Mormon conference, and listen to the way they talk. It’s very hypnotic. I think they literally teach them some things, and, you know, they have a lot of ties with the CIA. I’m just saying. I gotta say, I think Catholics do it better. They’ve. They’ve had more time to practice. But the way that, like, I remember growing up in the catholic mass, everything was a song.

It was all just like, every single thing that they had to say was always in this, like, hypnotic chant. That’s true. They do change. Any good religion should be a little sing songy, right? It makes me literally. I literally became a version to all males that were semi soft, not feminized, but, like, a little too soft. Wearing the penny loafers, like, it became a thing for me. I have never dated or married anyone that doesn’t wear work boots to work, so that fixed me. Do they make penny loafer work boots? That would be kind of cool.

Oh, I still would not even. And it used to be funny. People used to say, oh, you’re a nurse. You get a. When I was single. Oh, you could date doctors. I’m like, ew. They do now they sit with their legs crossed like a girl. Like, no way. No. Yeah, I can’t. And it’s funny. Cause in this movie, they don’t. They don’t say it outright, but fashion plays a huge freaking role because everyone in the. Okay, so we’ll start with the 1989 movie first. I figured that that was the one. I’m older, right? Like. But, like, I just.

I was making some very distinct notes, and it was like all of the good mormon people are wearing, like, flowing, maybe slightly unbuttoned, magical underpants y kind of, like, flowy garments. Right. And then when it shows anyone that’s bad, it’s a midriff. It’s gonna be. It’s gonna have denim with, like, little, like. Like, fringe hanging off the edges. Like, there. It was weird that they almost were trying to paint a visual aesthetic of, like, okay, now when you see the guy with any. If they have denim on it all above the waist, that, like, they’re going to be a bad guy.

Is that. You must. Yeah, no. And they do this in the temple movie as well. They dress him all. They dress Lucifer all in black, and he’s, like, got a cape and very vaudeville, actually. Strange. But, yeah, they do this. They like to do this. And, you know, because actually, I said I wore this dress because it’s a Sunday type dress, but this would not be acceptable at church, even though it goes almost down to my ankles. Like, it. It’s not acceptable because I have. I was going to say something. This is actually. We might have to censor this episode a little bit.

You weren’t really thinking ahead. I know. I don’t know what would happen in the night in the early nineties, and you start walking around downtown Salt Lake City with, like, you know, like, a fringe jacket, like, a denim jacket. Would the cops get called immediately? No, but my mom was very edgy, I’ll tell you. And people. And she was very, like, cool. She was very cool. And she was very Jack Mormon. Right. Remember that whole discussion? So people would look at her some kind of way, and she didn’t wear, like, a midriff or anything. She just wore, like, form fitting clothes and cool, like, fringe.

Little stuff. Not acceptable behavior. No. People give you the look. They don’t say anything. What about interpretive dance, which was the majority of this movie? The old. If you had to pick a single redeeming quality of the whole movie, it might be the. The interpretive dance that is all throughout it. It’s the only thing that looks like it took some skill, and it’s a little bit interesting, but it’s also really kind of cringy. You know what I mean? It’s so cringey. Some of those moves, it was like, is this really acceptable in the Mormon? Like, they’re kind of, you know, air humping a little bit.

Is that something you can do out in Mormon public? Hmm. Definitely not. Not even today? No, definitely not. And it’s. It’s an interesting. It’s an interesting thing that they support certain things in certain places. Like, if you’re at the gym, you don’t have to wear your magic underwear, and if you’re at dance class, you don’t have to do that or swimming or whatever. But. But then that’s okay, because blah, blah, blah. Right? Like, we talked about before, like, if Becky’s a professional dancer and this other lady’s just a mom at home, she has to wear them all the time.

Becky doesn’t have to. Like, is that okay? It’s okay. She has not make magic mormon sports bras. They do not one underwear. You could have more gains. Like, you might be missing out on gains if you’re not doing that. Yeah, you would think that they would, honestly. But maybe it’s just too much to alter for all the things, you know, like, that’s not holding us back. I think we could come out with some. Right? I think. Andreas. I think I. Okay. Okay. I’ll hit up Andre’s on that. It might be actually part of mandatory church gear.

Like, you’ll have to wear a sports bra, man or woman. It’s better that. Better. Better that than what I had to wear forever, because you have to wear the garments and the bra, so you’re wearing so many clothes all the time. It’s hot. I don’t like that. There is this one scene that it was in both movies, but it was so weird that the movie starts out, and I want to understate. I want to understand this because I. Because, like, I understood what they were doing in the movie, but I don’t understand how it could possibly work in, like, the actual mormonism.

So it’s Todd, and I can’t remember his wife slash partner slash girlfriend’s name, but Todd’s, like, the guy you see in both movies at the beginning in pre existence, which is, like, not heaven, not purgatory, but, like, a. Like, a before place. And we chose our parents. We lived in heaven as spirits, and we chose our parents and our situations. We chose all of our problems, like, large problems that you would face, not tiny problems, but like, if you had like some epic thing in your life, like the wheelchair girl, apparently she would have known that, which I thought was weird knowing it or chosen it.

Chosen it. So she decided to be in a wheelchair, which she, they didn’t explain that well in the movie because she’s like, I just want to dance and blah, blah, blah. And I’m like, well, that’s not exactly what the theology. So, okay, so there is a little creative license because the other part that really was, was messing with my head is that it starts out with Todd’s girlfriend slash partner kind of angry at him because she’s already jealous. And it’s like when you go down to that earth and you get that physical body, you’re just going to be, you know, whoring around with girls and you’re going to be seeing them.

And he’s like, honey, I won’t know. Like, they’re going to wipe my memory and I won’t know that you’re down there. You can’t get mad at me about this. And she’s like, no, I am mad. Because if you loved me, like, you would find me or you would wait. And he’s like, I won’t even know to wait, you know? And I’m just like, it seems weird that they’re in pre existence, which is kind of like a subdivision of heaven somehow, but. But she’s jealous about things that, like an art already. Like, if that’s heaven, right? Is there never an escape from that? And that’s just how.

Or well, and like, how does that work with the whole you’re gonna have polygamy after you die sitch? Right? Like, because they say that we, like Mormons will still have that opportunity and this will all get worked out. Like, that’s how they just put it in a mask. Oh, it’ll all get worked out. They don’t touch polygamy at all in this movie. It’s not addressed. It’s not implied. There’s, there, it doesn’t exist. And I just want to be tell me if I’m wrong in this, but being a new Mormon, like a newcomer to Mormonism, I’ve kind of been introduced to it after the Jeff Warren’s thing, show sponsor, after he got arrested and all that.

That was the first time that I ever heard about the big polygamy aspect. And it was also, it was painted in this light of like, no, that’s this rogue thing. That guy went crazy. He made his own version of Mormonism. That’s not real mormonism. So I’ve never once, outside of Exmos, ever associated, like polygamy with Mormonism, you know, outside of South park. Oh, no, no. So what happened really is Mormonism is a core part of the teachings of the Book of Mormon and the Mormon church. So it is a core essential piece. And the reason why Warren Jeff’s and these other people break off and make their own sex, um, is because they, they put a stop to it.

And what they basically did is they threatened Utah because the Mormons moved to Utah because it wasn’t a part of America when they moved here, it was part of Mexico. And so then they were like free to be their polygamy selves. They’d already been ran out of everywhere. And Bram Young was the second prophet who basically moved the Mormons here to Salt Lake. And he had over 50 wives, and he is one of the prophets of the mainstream church. And so it’s not just an option. It was like, you wanted to have polygamy. Oh, no. If you don’t.

So essentially, if you did not marry three wives and become a polygamist, you will not go to the top heaven in the original teachings of the Book of Mormon period. Not just these crazy groups. This is a core teaching, core value of the church. Unless you go with the break off. The first break off was Joseph Smith’s wife, when he died, said, we never did polygamy. He wasn’t a polygamist. That’s all a lie. As far, even on her death, the x mile. Yes. No, this is real. This is real. Look this up for real. Real. She said this was never a thing.

So then her son even said, um, are you sure? Like on, on the deathbed. And then she said, yes, and you’re going to go and fix the church. So that became the reformed lds church, the RLDs, and then Brigham Young took the main bulk of the actual church, the polygamists, and moved to Utah. And that is the real, actual first break off of the church splitting. And polygamy was a core, essential part of the Mormon actual church until the government was like, listen, if you don’t stop this, we are going to take your land, we are going to put you all in prison.

All this stuff. Because they were just sick of it. And they were like, you, you are now back in the America because of this purchase. You are an american now back again. Like I said, they didn’t want to be. They tried to be outside and start their own state, basically. And it was called the Beehive, the deseret state. So when they came back and it was renamed, it was taken over by the government, and they were given an option, either stop it or we will throw you all in prison. We will take your land. We will take everything you have.

And so all of a sudden, the president of the church at that time, prophet seer and revelator, prayed about this and said, you know what? I heard that we should stop it, too. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. If an elder comes to my door and they show me the book of Mormon, can I still open it up and point to an exact place where it says polygamy is accepted doctrine Covenants 132. And they never edited that part out or released like a new revised edition or anything? Nope. What they did instead is made the articles of faith, which say you have to obey the laws of the land.

And so the laws of the land became a big deal to Mormons. And they also didn’t want, like, to have everything taken away and all their men imprisoned. And they’d been ran out of quite a few things. Like, at that point, let me google which profits. So could they make a laws of the land that everyone has to drink coffee and like, smoke weed? Typically they would. Right? But. But in theory, if they passed that law. Yeah, no, if a profit came out right now, yeah, it would, it would be gone. And actually, I’ve heard they’ve really loosened it up.

Like, now they kind of say, it’s up to you. And I’m like, oh, that’s weird. But Wilford Woodruff published a manifesto in 1890 that officially ended polygamy for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. This manifesto was inspired by the political press dispatches that claimed the church was still allowing plural marriages, which they were, and that they feared that the practice would lead to the destruction of the temples once again. So the government will actually, there were, if you look up the wars, the Mormon wars between the government and the Mormons, it was like a thing.

So they passed 1887 Edmunds Tucker act proved the final straw. The US Congress renewed its attack on polygamy. So they were going to seize all the assets. He was fearful of this and they just didn’t want to basically lose everything and have to start over again. But there were a lot of Mormons that said, listen, this is the word of God and you cannot change this. This is like the whole foundation of the church. And so they branched off and called that guy a false prophet. Wilford Woodruff, they said, he’s a liar. He’s actually not called of God, because he would never go against God’s teachings like this.

And so they went and did their own thing, and that’s where fundamentalism came out of. And there’s so many of them. There’s, like, a whole bunch of branches of fundamentalist Mormons. So all that to say that this movie puts a very specific and strong plot point about, like, a monogamous relationship, that these two people that are paired in heaven are going to be reunited on earth if they’re lucky. And I’ll get into that when we talk about the second movie. But in the first one, they keep it kind of simple, but, like, when you saw this movie in, what, 89 or 90, when it came out.

Yeah. Was that. Was. Was monogamy a thing, or did you expect one day you might have a husband that had four other wives? No, because it. That ended in, like, 1896. So everything for mainstream Mormons since the 19 hundreds basically has been like, that’s gone now. That was. They. They blow it off like this. Like, oh, all the men were killed in these wars that I’m telling you about, and all the men had to take these widows on. I’m like, no, they weren’t. They were marrying young girls. Like, that’s a. A lie, but whatever. So, I mean, they basically always came up with, all my life, I was told they had to do it.

They had to bite the bullet. They didn’t want to. Just like Joseph Smith said, I don’t want to. But by the sword of this angel, I must be a polygamist. So I hate it when that happens. Yeah. Stupid angels and their stupid. You know what? John D. Also mentioned getting stabbed with a sword, or maybe it was Kelly. But anyway, apparently they, like, got stabbed with Edward Kelly’s sword, if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. Could have been. Could have been. It was just a misfire, though. It wasn’t intentional. There was a lot going on.

There was angels. There was. Well, they were tunnel buddies. I mean, they were. It doesn’t. It’s not the same if it’s for magic. If it’s for magic, it gets a pass. It’s different. Different, totally. It was magic, though. And so they just. I think Joseph knew it was, but I also think that he’d already been down that road with the whole treasure digging and got, like, thrown into court. So he was like, better not. Maybe keep that on the DL. Maybe we best lay that one quiet, like, about magic. I think he knew what he was doing.

I don’t think he was stupid about that. I think he absolutely knew what he’s doing when he was channeling. But like I said, the whole wives thing, that was just played off as, oh, they just had to take care of these women. Women couldn’t work back then. And poor Sheila next door, she had 20 kids and she needs a husband. So that’s basically what they made it out to be my whole life. I’m going to pull up. If you’re, if you’re listening, you’ll have to just go and find Saturday’s Warrior 1989 on YouTube so bad. But I want to at least show a couple screencaps just so I can talk about it.

Oh, here we go. Why not, right? Why not show a couple? Oh, it’s so funny. Yeah. And I love that they did this as star, let’s say I’ll let it play. Hold on. Well, I’m not going to do a straight play because I don’t want to get it taken down for. Oh, yeah, that’s true. Silly reasons. But, like, yeah, it start, it starts out here. I’ll do a quick little. Yeah, but it does, like a little Star wars kind of thing going on. And then one of the things that I noticed this is really weird, too.

Like, the credits. Someone just filmed on, like, an afternoon when they brought their kid to a park there. This isn’t like stock photo. It was just, like, horribly shot. Okay. And then I think these are real pictures of the kid. That was the first kidde, maybe. I mean, there’s way more color in the kids that they show in the credits than you see in the rest of the. Yeah, maybe so. Of the. So. Okay. And then it opens to interpretive dance. And, like, a majority of this movie is just lots of interpretive dance. And this just feels very spicy for an opening to a Mormon movie.

And not just that, but one of the things I want to note is that as they show all these characters, and here’s Todd, and here’s his, like, girl before they get sent back to Earth. But they show the family Todd’s hair is not in line with. Well, I assume none of them are. They’ve all got some pre. Well, and also Todd is like that, like, might be a jackmo because he smokes and, like, he’s got long hair and he’s an artist and he gets kind of, like, converted into mormonism even though he started as a Mormon.

I guess we all do. Right? Is that the idea is that everyone starts as a Mormon? Everyone’s. Oh, yeah, you. Yeah, of course. And then they show the family and it might be hard because it’s a little bit blurry in here, but everyone has a different color. Like, there’s, like, nine kids or something, and they literally all have a different color. Yellow and brown, red, orange, blue. You know what I mean? Pastels, too. Light colors. Yeah. Is that acceptable? Like, would you see a family that had, like, eight or nine different colors, like, a full spectrum, or do you usually have to keep it to, like, a few? No.

The only thing the fundamentalists keep to the original teachings, which is they don’t wear red. The color red is evil, and they wear pastels. So there’s definitely red in here. The little girl right there in the middle is definitely in red. So she might be a demon. No, no, this isn’t. They’re not fundamentalists, so they’re. Okay, well, clearly. Yeah. They’re doing interpretive dance and. Okay, a side note. Just because it’s so weird, is this little girl in yellow. Her name is Emily. And the only reason I remember that is because in the remake, they also have the youngest girl named Emily wearing yellow.

Like, they literally didn’t change much at all between the two movies, which made it a little bit harder to watch because it’s just like, oh, my God, I saw this already. Like, I’ve seen this show. Yeah, move. Yeah, it’s weird because she’s the last one to go because she’s the youngest. So, first of all, is this a snapshot in pre existence? Like, because she’s not gonna be young forever. Like, even when she goes there, she starts as a baby, and then she gets older. So why are they all different ages here at this point in time? Like, why isn’t she 30? She should be.

She should be. I think the actual theology teaching is, like, we’re all. They say this. We’re all at our best age whenever you kind of peek. What if she peaked when she was, like, you know, I guess she peaked there. Yeah. I think they did this for aesthetics of the movie, but, like, in teachings, I’ve always heard it’s, like, between 25 and 30 right in there. And, like, you’re. You’re youthful, but still, like, a good part of your life before you really start to age. So. And would there be a timeline? Like, everyone’s in line, and you would know that you’re, like, 9th to come out of your.

Your mom’s vagina, like, in heaven, you’re like, oh, I can’t wait to be the 9th one out of that one. Yep. You’re. You know. Exactly. You chose your space. You chose your family, you chose your circumstances. And God, if it’s bad stuff, like, you know, then, oh, you, you were willing to take that on because you were so righteous, right? Like, you’re so good. But even if you’ve decided all that, it doesn’t mean it really happens because like in this movie, well, she’s the one. We’ll explain the difference between the movie and the real mormonism. But like, Emily’s concerned because she’s like, what if, you know, mom dies before she gets to have me? And then another one was, what if I get born to a different mom somewhere? And that blew my mind because I didn’t know that that was a possibility.

And it comes up multiple times in these movies. In fact, there’s like a really horrible recurring joke. But they’re like, oh, yeah, you know, every once in a while I’ll deliver a baby to the wrong parents. But, you know, thank God the hospital usually clears it up. But then another time there was a couple and they were like asking the person that sends them back down, or at least is, you know, I don’t know, like the guy that talks between them and goddess. But they’re like, well, could you at least put us on the same street? Well, could you at least put us in the same city? Well, if not that, can we at least be in the same time period? And it’s like, wait a minute.

So when you’re in pre existence, like one of you can get shot to year, 3001 of you can get shot to year, like 200 or. How does that work? Right? Yeah. Well, I mean, they say you pick your circumstances. I don’t know, in the, I think they did that in the movie for funny. Like to be funny. But they definitely deep inside joke because it’s all crazy and funny to me. So, like, if the Mormons are sarcastically putting something in, it’s like, oh, this is so outlandish to laugh. It’s like everything’s on the table. Like, I took all of this as gospel.

Yeah, no, that was like a funny joke. Like, it would have been taken as like, haha. Like, but we in the pre existence, you have already supposedly picked your family. You know which one you’re going to, all that. So that was like a mistake. Like funny ha ha, angel. Well, to be fair, there was an actual punchline in that and it was kind of funny because, because they were like, can we be in the same street? No. How about the same city? No. How about the same timeline? No. And the guys, like, how about the same family and they’re like, yes.

And then they take a second and then they’re like, wait a minute. Yeah, then they’re like, ew, no, and that, and actually I caught that, too, and thought, ew. And then the other thing I caught was when they were going to go down for the pre existent life to the other life. He was like, yeah, this is really scary. First time that that was, that’s not theology. We don’t believe in reincarnation over and over stuff. So that was weird. I kind of caught that and I was like, what? Why did he say that? That was a little strange.

But yeah. How do you think all, like, these weird things skip through the censors? Do they just allow it or do they not see it or what? I mean, it’s probably just going, if there’s any kind of problem with this, they’re definitely always going to say, I, the church is not over this movie. This is interpretation from somebody so and so, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So that’s what they’ll do every time. Even if they paid for it, marketed it, whatever they do. I’ve got another situation like that with a book, and it’s fallen really into this crazy court case that I was telling you about.

And the church will put things on a recommended read list and then take them off and on. And so they won’t take this one book off, and they probably should. It led to a murder and a cult inside the Mormonism cult, in my opinion. But yeah, here’s the full rainbow. Yes. It’s like a bag of Skittle. Like Mormon Skittles. Mormon Skittle babies. Yes. And there is a red pink in there. Okay, so that, so a couple weird things that were going on with setting up the lore, which apparently is not canon, and somehow the incest joke made it through everyone that needed to give it approval.

They were all like, I like the incest joke. That’s a good one. Like, we are Mormon, after all. So there’s going to be a little bit of, and then they also get very specific. So once they get down onto earth. Right? So this is like all this heaven part. And here’s the two elders. So there’s two elder, there’s like a bunch of different plot lines going on. So the first plotline is Todd and his girlfriend. I’m going to say girlfriend because I don’t know what, what’s the actual term for your, your chick in heaven? So Todd and his girl, they are kind of having this debate about like, will you find me on earth? Yada yada.

Then we get introduced to the family and they’re all worried about if they’re all going to make it to earth, if they’re going to come in the right order, all that stuff. And then you’ve got the two elders and they’ve got this song, which I really like. It’s called like, I knew you were going to like this song. And then when I. Great premise. And so this is mormon humor that I can understand and get behind where it’s like they know that in order to be a convincing, like, to have persuasion when you’re out on these missions, you probably do need to not be so humble that you don’t even talk to anyone.

Cause they play these guys off each other where one of them is really reserved and the other one spontaneously is just like, you there, little girl, old lady, listen to me. And he’s like dancing and making cow noises, but then the other one’s more reserved. But they’re basically like, we have to go out there and just convert as many people as we can. Like they want to get on the high score charts, I guess. Yeah, that’s true. That’s how missionaries are. Yep. So they definitely care. These are the three main plot lines. And then a spoiler alert is that one of these elders ends up meeting or like growing up with the Todd’s girl.

So Todd’s girl at the very beginning, I can keep this structured. So here’s Todd and his girl, and then she ends up later on meeting one of those elder guys here, the tall one, and they grow up together. He goes off to go on a mission and he’s basically distraught. He’s like, as soon as this is so weird, like, Mormons just assume the second the girl or the man is out of their sight, they’re already like getting married to somebody else. No, they are. This is actually, this is real. This dear John letter for Mormonization, Mormon missionaries is so very common that this is why they put it in here, because this is real life, because you can’t do anything, you can’t have relations or anything unless you’re married.

So the big joke is Mormon missionaries get married within 30 days of getting home, whether they are engaged or not. And that is pretty good stats there. Between 30 and 90 days, they will be engaged. And the girls, as soon as the guy’s out of the site, then the other guys move in because they’re not supposed to promise to 100%. Wait, which her mom tells her not to do in this. Oh, so that’s a mormon thing. Yeah, because what if what? If that’s. I didn’t know that. Yeah. And she is free to date while he is gone.

And he cannot even be in a room. So when you’re a missionary, whether you’re a girl or a boy, you cannot be in the room with the opposite sex at all, ever, without your. Your companion, which is his companion in the movie, you know, the more reserved guy. And they are 24/7 together. Unless they’re in the bathroom or showering or whatever. Yeah. Okay. So that’s. That actually provides a lot of extra context because in both of these movies, I was wondering, like, if they’re really so into each other, why. Why is he so concerned about it? And why does she already have something lined up, like, the second he leaves? But I guess that’s just part of how it works in mormonism.

Yep. And you’re your brother’s keeper. If you’re a missionary, you’re your brother’s keeper, which makes more sense in the context now that you know that, like, he’s literally in charge of, you know, if he’s down, you bring him up. Like how the one guy started getting more animated when the one guy was down and sad. So you’re supposed to help each other, right? Because they rip these kids away from their parents. They are not allowed to speak to their families or do anything like that, except they’ve changed the rules a little bit. It used to be on Mother’s Day and Christmas, you could call home for two years.

That’s. That’s it. And then the rest are letters. And so now I think they can do email, if I remember correct. Yeah, they could do emails. Oh. But so if I’m on a mission, I can’t call my mom on, like a. Like a Wednesday and just be like, hey, how’s it going? Nope, it’s a full cut off. You are serving the Lord, and your mind needs to be with the Lord, and you are to be. No tv. No, it’s very strict. It’s like everything has to do with your mission and converting people, period. What’s crazy is this sounds so close to the military, where I only was thinking about the dear John letter because that was the same thing that if anyone in your unit gets a letter from their girlfriend back home, everyone’s just like, it’s a dear John.

And it usually was. It was usually for the exact same reason where it’s like you’re out of the scene and everyone moves in, and now it’s like, it’s fair game. So that became a thing but now you’re talking about you can’t call home, you can’t talk to your parents whenever you want. Yeah, I can’t talk. No tv. This is military training. You know what I mean? It’s like priest and military had a baby because you got to be in priest training type stuff, like where you can’t be alone with women or men, and you’re with somebody else all the time.

And everything’s about this mission. You get up, you read your scriptures, everything’s about goddess. Like, well, the book of Mormon, really. But anyway, you’re praying all the time. You’re just engulfed in this. And they have, like, certain. They go to a missionary training center. It’s called the MTC, before they go on their mission. And if you get called to, like, some crazy place where they only talk clicking noises, that’s where you learn it. And you only got a couple months. You got a couple months to learn a whole new language. And they throw your butt wherever you’re gonna go.

Like France or I, you know, Swahili. It doesn’t matter. And so they say God will help them learn it. And do they have to go back to Salt Lake City to count as becoming Mormon? Because they imply that. They imply that, like, it, they only become Mormon once they actually fly to Salt Lake City. But I imagine if you’re in Africa, you don’t actually have to move them anywhere. So could you just lie? You just say, I converted 50. Well, no, it’s all record, church records. So they send. Everything is very organized. So there’s, you get a baptism certificate.

You have to fill it out. It goes to the church headquarters. Like, they keep all this stuff they know exactly. Like, if they sent me to West Africa and there’s no other Mormons around except for me and my missionary bro. And we both like, hey, let’s kill this. Let’s get the charts. Let’s say that we baptize 50. I think you have to have other people from your stake. So you’ve got your. Your missionary people there that are over you. You’ve got you and your companion, but then they’ve got the missionary bosses and blah, blah, blah. It’s all.

It’s all very, like they. They have to submit it. They get a record number. The guy’s probably going to come to your baptism. Like, this other headquarter guy. Like, it’s all a big there. Yeah, no, it’s like policing. You get a number. I always wanted to make it fun, but you’re always like, no, it’s really not fun. There’s lots of paperwork involved and people checking in on you. Actually, there’s a ward clerk for every single branch. So, like, every little tiny parish, like a parish for Catholics, there’s a ward clerk that takes care of all the paperwork voluntarily with no money.

In both movies, the main character is this guy Jimmy, and when he’s bad, they call him James. And then his sister, who on earth, I guess, decided she wanted to be in a wheelchair. And they have a weird relationship. I almost feel like if they were to send us back as brother and sister, we can still roll with that. That would have been them. Uh, there’s a much more interpretive dance. Oh, my God. When they get. They get sent back to earth, and then here they are, like, negotiating. And this is the chicken, the first one that makes the joke about we accidentally sent the baby to the wrong parents.

Can that happen? Is that a real thing? No, I don’t think so. I think that that’s just, uh, because everything’s predetermined. And that’s where they always say, you have free agency, but also everything’s predetermined, like, even the outcome. So I think that’s okay. So this was a total joke. Funny. But, see, like, I didn’t pick up on that. I thought that that was, like, man, there’s actually Mormons out there that might be worried that they show up in the. In the wrong hospital with the wrong family. No, no, no. That wouldn’t really. It was. It was.

Yeah. See, I’m glad that you’ve got here to clarify, because I was. I was about to just write that into mormon lore. Oh, no. Okay. And then here we go. Here. Here they are back on the. The planet, I guess, when he’s leaving for his mission, right? He’s going off to be an elder, and he’s already having an issue with, like, his girlfriend, but he know, like, now I understand more. Like, he knows the second he’s on that plane, relationship is over. And she knows it, too, but neither of them are really saying it, so it makes it really confusing when it just starts to unfold.

I’m like, what happened between the plane ride and now? Especially if they’re, like, all supposed to be so upright and, like, standing. And then she mentioned that my mom made me promise to her that I won’t promise to you. And that’s a real Mormon thing now. Yeah. Yep. Is there an. Is there a name for that promise? No, but a lot of them tell, um, the girls and boys, because, like, my daughter was dear, uh, jode, I guess, whatever. It wasn’t, he broke up with her while he was on his mission, and this happens often. Like, she did wait one full year for him.

She got to a year, and then he wrote her and said, I’ve been praying about it, and I just don’t think we’re supposed to get married. Which is hilarious, because he married a girl that looks exactly like her, not as attractive, but so close. And I just was like, that’s weird, but whatever. And this happens a lot. Either the girl will break up with the guy or the guy will break up with the girl, but the men are not supposed to have any romantic anything, so. Right. And it’s funny in this movie when as soon as they get onto wherever, they were going to become the missionaries, right.

His homie immediately is like, that two time and tramp. Like, you don’t need her anyway. Like, all of a sudden, they went from, like, these nice, respectable Mormons to just calling this girl a tramp just because what, she didn’t make, like, a commitment to this guy that she grew up with. It’s weird. Like, is that I assume that animosity is real because that’s more of, like, a human trait than a Mormon trait. Yeah, I would definitely say I make jokes, and people say, because I’m a spicy ex Mormon, but I always make jokes. Like, a lot of times because of the pressure and.

And the society stuff that they’re under. I have seen a lot of Mormons fall away fast and make bad mistakes and then come back to the church. Right. They’ll, like, have affairs or whatever, and they’re angry with people or whatever is happening, and then they’ll be like, ooh, that was my bad. And they’ll. They’ll go back and fix it up. But, yeah, it’s kind of an ingenious model if you were to design it that way, because it’s kind of like what the Catholics do, too, where they just make everything a guilt trip. So at some point, you’re just like, man, I better go pay that penance.

I’ve been racking up this guilt, you know, all these decades, and mormonism is very similar. Like, a small. You guys only have to do, like, the Hail Marys and stuff. And mormonism is, like, serious. You could be thrown out of the church completely and have to be re baptized. Yeah, let’s not get hasty. They might donate money. Let’s not just throw them out here. That’s how the Catholics like, if you pay your tithing, if we can negotiate a higher tithing. Maybe there could be some leeway. Yeah, no, that’s, uh. They definitely are going to get punished.

Like, if there’s some kind of issue where, like, the second movie that mom thought she was definitely going to tell her that she had been morally unclean, you could tell she was panicking. She was hitting panic button. She didn’t think it was just an engagement. She was worried. She was worried. You could tell it’s like a Mormon, and. And you could see it all over the place. And if you did something like that, like, slept with somebody before marriage or whatever, you. You’re going to be in trouble. You’ve got some price to pay. You’re going to be, like, not take the sacrament for six months, have to do all these penance things like go meet with your bishop every week, tell him exactly what you’re doing and how you’re doing and everything about your life for months and months.

Why? He charts it in a little chart. It’s like a whole thing. Yeah, well, so the second movie is definitely way edgier because they made it in 2016, so they probably had to address some of the stuff. The 1989 version. They. So, okay, so they get onto the planet earth, and then they’ve got this family that does, like, a really cheesy, like, partridge family kind of thing. And this one, they’ve got, like, weird jazz hand outfits kind of going on, but the sun wants to be like. Well, Jimmy wants to be, like, a badass. He doesn’t want to be in the partridge family.

He wants to, like, do his own thing. And that’s when he. Yeah, he meets these people that all wear denim and midriffs, and that’s how you know that they’re the best. Yeah, it’s another really good point. Yeah. Look at everything that everyone wears at this point. It’s very, you know, clothed, top to bottom. There’s. There’s no skin showing, and then it’s like a stark contrast, and there’s, you know, they’re angry, and they’re like, look at this. Look at how wide the legs are going up in the air, and they got midriffs on, and it’s all tight.

So this is the bad Mormon stuff. And they start. They start putting nasty thoughts into his head. So then when he goes back home and he sees his parents, they find out that the mom and dad are planning to have another kid. Right? And Jimmy is like. He says some pretty horrific things to her. Actually, those things are like. Like, the mild one was just like, geez, you know, dad, you’re gonna force, you know, mom here to be breastfeeding when she’s 60, which might actually be on the cards for. And then she’s like, he says something about, like, you’re 40.

Is it even gonna come out right? Like, he’s making all these very nasty implications. Your baby’s gonna be not healthy and all this weird stuff. Yeah, he’s going kind of hard on it. And then he, he makes this stance of, like, you know, families, and he. And he has got an exact number. He’s like, families should only be having 1.7 children, and we’re going to run out of space and resources, and he’s got this whole thing. And this is where that, like, globalist new world order agenda becomes the main villain in both movies, is that it’s the kid coming up against these weird new world order mandates of population control, which was a huge topic in the nineties.

And now it’s a different, like, now it’s already happening, and people are like, how. How do we have more babies? But originally it was like, they’re gonna, you know, force you to stop having kids, or they’re gonna, like, do a chinese kind of like one child policy on us. Yeah, well, and Mormons are encouraged. So there’s a little backstory with all this is that Mormons are encouraged to not stop having children until God basically tells you to. Because poor Emily’s up there waiting to get down here, so you might blow it if. If you do that and, and do this.

1.75 or stop having kids or believe this, you know, whatever is happening. So it’s really serious, and they take it very seriously. And most Mormon families have six kids. It’s normal. And this turns into a kind of a dark inner reference because as Jimmy is yelling at his dad and his mom and saying, you know, your baby’s gonna come out lopsided because you’re 40. They’ll cut back to Emily in heaven. And Emily’s up there like, oh, Jimmy, why did you forget about me? Why would you do this to me? And he’s. And it’s. It’s weird because she literally is, like, next in line.

Like, she’s going to be the next one born, and all she wants is to see her family, and she wants to love her family, and Jimmy might be the one that screws it up for everybody, or, like, he doesn’t want her for some reason. And even though he promised in heaven member that he would not forget her, so. Well, I mean, there’s forgetting, and then there’s like actively advocating for you to not exist. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we’ve got the little family scene and being a Mormon dad, I assume he has to hit the kid that’s this misbehaving.

Is that a real thing? Actually was super surprised that they did this, actually, even in the timeframe that they did it, let alone later, because that wouldn’t probably happen. They’re pretty non disciplinarian, even raising your voice like, my mother in law and my husband’s family growing up is the better family to go off of because my family was not typical and they were very typical. Like he said, I think I only remember getting slapped once and I really deserved it. I can’t remember what he said. I think he said a bad cuss word or something. He was being really mean to his parents here, though.

And this scene, he was basically lying like her uterus was just going to churn out like, you know, tater tots. And it was kind of nasty the way he went about it. Yeah, he was being bad. It was bad. So, okay, so it’s not as normal for a mormon dad to slap you across the face because. No, no. They’re very passive aggressive people. Well, you’re going to get sent to your room. Yeah. So, okay, so hear me. So hear me out because I’m learning all this as we talk about it. Is this like the way that the Mormon dad, like, feels inside? Like he just wants to his kids constantly because I bet he would.

Like, they’re very told to be like meek, more meek and mild and humble. And that’s not a bad thing. But sometimes, you know, anger is a frail emotion and they make people that get angry. Like me, I’m a yeller. My mother in law thinks I’m going straight to hell for that because I’m loud. And she told me one time, she said, said if you would just ignore him. And I said, well, what do you guys do when you fight? And she said, oh, I just don’t talk to him for weeks. And I’m like, that’s worse. What? And my husband agrees.

He’s like, that’s way worse. I hate that. Like, please don’t do that. I’d rather hear you go off for an hour and then you’re over it. You know, he’s like, it’s fine. But like, for her to say, like, I’m a bad person because I raise my voice, basically. Okay, you’re selling me a mormonism a little bit more from this movie because I was like, I don’t want to get hit? I didn’t know where that was. Okay. No, definitely not. Which is. Which is weird that they’re kind of planting this in, because this may be the eighties.

So I think maybe they spanked more back then, but I can’t imagine this wasn’t a spank, to be clear. This was a full. Like, slapped them across the face. There was some power in it. Yeah. I was always kind of surprised that they put that part in there, to be honest. So then Jimmy goes outside, and he complains to his. His twin sister. And this one actually worked better in the new movie, but we’ll talk about. We’ll talk about the old movie first. And so. Okay, so, here’s another part that really irritated me. This is when it started to irritate me, was in this scene, and it never went away.

And it was part of why I think I felt nauseous after a while. But this family is so frustratingly annoying to me because they seem to all know the truth. They all know God. They all know how it works. Like, they haven’t made any mistakes or anything. They’ve got their eye on the prize, and Jimmy’s the one bad apple. And every time they talk to him, it’s always something along the lines of, like, oh, Jimmy, you just don’t understand. You’ll see one day. You’ll understand. And this weird. Holier than that. Like, it’s literally his twin sister.

They’ve been alive for the same amount of time. They’ve had roughly the same experiences. What makes every other kid and the parents in this damn family like, they’ve got all the answers? And then Jimmy’s the only one that doesn’t have the answers. And it’s just condescending, nonstop. That is how my husband was raised, and to this day, how they treat him. He is the Jimmy, and he hates it. And he tells me, like, I’ve talked to them about my thoughts on God and the Bible, and, like, he’s not. Not a Christian. He. He believes in stuff.

He just doesn’t believe in their stuff. And they treat him like this because this is the two different kinds. This is why I’m in the doghouse and he’s not, because I do know everything. I’ve been to the temple. I’ve got all the knowledge. I I did all this stuff, and then I shunned it. Where she’s living, everything she should. She can’t go to the temple yet because she’s pretty young. I mean, other than baptisms for the dead. But she’s basically holding on to the rod, the iron Rod. This is a whole song anyway. She’s doing everything she’s supposed to do, and the family is, too, so they’re just like, oh, look at dumb Jimmy.

He’s so dumb. Look at how dumb he is. He just. He knows the truth and he’s not even listening. He’s so dumb. And my husband hates it. He hates it because he’s like, no, I’m showing you, like, actual proof of things. And like this and this and this and. And how he’s read so many books and he’s actually studied a whole bunch of the Bible, and they don’t really read their Bible that much. And even if they do, they just say, well, that part of the Bible’s wrong, because Joseph Smith said this about that part, so forget about that.

Or if it crosses at all, like, my husband will say, well, what about this part of the Bible doesn’t jive with mormonism? They’ll say, oh, that’s just translated, Jimmy. One day you’ll understand. Oh, Casey. Actually, she says it like that. Casey. Casey. So that part is probably the most frustrating with this entire movie series, first and second, just because that’s always the end. And it’s whenever the parents are looking for advice or someone’s looking for advice, the only advice is just keep loving them. That’s it. That’s all you gotta do. Just. Just love them, and it’ll all kind of work out, which is.

I mean, I like the sentiment. I’m not against loving people and loving your family members. Just for the record, I’ll go out on a limb here and say it’s a good thing to love your family members, but that can’t be the end all, be all advice for someone that’s struggling with, like, existential crisis, right? Just say, oh, just keep loving them. He’s even gone to his parents and written full letters and texts and, like, really tried, on a human level, to work things through and, like, okay, this is really bothering me, or whatever. And they just.

They just pretend like nothing ever happened, that there was no letter, and they just are like, hi, how are you guys? Like, it’s. It’s so weird. It’s super. It’s super. Stepford White. Well, to be fair, they just love him. And they’re waiting for him to come around. They’re waiting for him to come to his senses. He doesn’t have the full knowledge, and I’m going to hell. So. So they don’t like that he’s with me, and she told me that straight to my face. She said, you are not what we wanted for our family. And I was like, cool.

Slight, slight tangent. But it reminds me a little bit of, like, twitter arguments where, like, people will get into this, like, this phase or this, like, zone where all of a sudden they’ve got a thing that they’re trying to push, like, this idea, and then someone will come along and be like, well, actually, you know that annoying. Well, actually, here’s some things that, you know directly go against exactly what saying. And it’ll just be like, well, you just don’t get it. You just haven’t. And it’s like, no, no, I have. Look, here are the exact things that we’re talking about.

It’s like, one day you’ll look back on this and you’ll see how wrong you were. Like, they fail to engage anything, any, like, refutation. Like, don’t even entertain the discourse. Even. Even if you brought the Bible, like, my husband has done Bible verses, multiple bible verses, and say, this is why I don’t believe in Mormonism. Blah, blah, blah. Parents, I still love God in Christ. And they’ll have an answer. They always have an answer. Like, like what you’re saying, you just don’t understand. So this movie, if. If they weren’t trying to, but they do a great job of really portraying that part of Mormonism, which is one of the biggest turn offs.

Like a man. Even if I wanted to, if. If I just felt someone was constantly condescending, and the only thing they ever said was like, like, oh, you’re so stupid. But you’ll get. You’ll get it one day. You’re. You’re. Oh. Oh, Thomas. Oh, Heidi. Just haven’t gone up far enough in the levels. You just know. I hear that a lot. Yeah, I know. You’re not high enough. You’ll one day. That’s why I said that, because I’ve heard. I’ve heard people say that, and I’m like, this is funny. But, you know, I just think that they are very condescending people.

But they are the nice condescending people you’ll ever meet. And some really nice southerners, like, the whole bless your heart stuff like that. They’re very blessed for heart. Yeah, that’s a good analogy. Okay, so there was another weird portion that they didn’t really, like, focus on it. But Jimmy is with his family, and the little girl, I think, in pink, one of the younger ones looks at Jimmy and she goes, I would die for. You know, it’s the youngest one, it’s when they’re in heaven, I think. Or she goes, I would do anything for you, Jimmy.

I would even die for you. And instead of anyone saying, like, whoa, that’s weird, Emily. Like, why are you talking about you’re going to die for? Like, no one even, like, brought up the concept that someone might be dying here, and she’s just volunteering this, and he’s just like, oh, Emily. And it was like, this weird, touching moment. But I don’t know, man. It’s a weird thing to lead with, especially as a child talking to a much older person and saying, like, I’ll die for you. Like, I don’t know. It’s very sacrificial. I noticed that, too.

I was like, that’s an awkward thing, because then what happens later, I’m sure we’ll get to it. And so it kind of makes me wonder if there was a sacrifice there already pre planned. Well, and not just that, but as a little kid watching this movie, like, that’s a weird expectation that you’re now setting that. Like, how many kids go into this movie? Never even considered that. Like, I might have to die for a family member as part of whatever, my religion, I guess. And now you walk out in this family feel good movie, and you’re telling your siblings, like, I would die for you.

Yeah. Blood atonement type stuff right there. I mean, it seems. It seems a little pushy on that. That little situation. Although, I mean, that would probably be yourself, but I think they’re trying to prove a point there. Yeah. Creepy. And the. The girl, I think one of the girls that’s singing, they go into, like, a bedroom scene. I won’t be able to find every one of the scenes here, but there’s one where it’s like, the dear John. Yeah, this is the scene where she’s writing the dear John letter, and one of the girls has this lyric, and I had to stop it and look up the lyrics to see if I really heard this.

And she goes, what do I do when the kids make fun? Because I’m kind of dumb. What do I do? What do I do? And it’s like she’s embracing it. She knows that she’s dumb. She understands it, and she knows that people are going to make fun of her because of how dumb she is. So the song’s nothing about, like, get smarter or think more about yourself or raise your self esteem. It’s just like, how can I sort of counteract how dumb I am? I just thought was an interesting lyric to inject into this. This song.

I think mormon. You have to understand a lot with Mormons is they’re very fake it till you make it. People, they would never on the outer surface be like, oh, I’m just so dumb. They would just be like, hi. Like, it would just be not a thing. You know, they would hide it. Any kind of flaw, they’re gonna, like, smooth that right over. Like. Like on Facebook with the in laws. My mother in law is friends with my very normal, quote, unquote, normal kids. My kids with tattoos. No, I am not her friend on Facebook book because she will not accept it as well.

So sorry. All about your. How you look, how it looks, the family, all of it. This is the dear John part where she’s writing it. And then it goes to the missionaries again, the missionaries are in the park, and they do the humble way song. But some of the lyrics in this original one that didn’t make it into the second one. And there’s this one in particular where they’re literally talking about heart Harry Cary, which is the, I think, the japanese samurai way of eviscerating yourself out of honor, where you basically remove yourself from the earth, which doesn’t seem like it’s compatible with mormon values.

Yet they found that to be the most appropriate line to add, not just as a throwaway line. It’s in the chorus of this song about being humble. No, there. There is the blood atonement thing where. You know, but that’s hurting other people. But Hari Kari is. You take yourself out now. No, their self. No, their self. There is actually instances of where blood atonement is. If you have a good friend that can do it for you, that’s great. But if not, you should spill your own blood for your sin. Yeah. What? Okay, hold on. Is there.

Are there, like, specific sins that are. You just can’t clean yourself of, or this is. This is off the table now in mainstream. But at one point was mainstream mormonism teaching. Brigham Young has a, quote. Love your neighbor enough to kill him. Because if he has done a sin that is so great, that requires the spilling of his own blood, then help him spill it. And there is a case, uh, Anderson is the last name in Cedar City, Utah, oh, in the 18 hundreds, where he committed adultery, and he knew that he needed to spill his own blood, and he willingly, uh, they dug the grave.

He got in his nice clothes and everything and went out and. Yep. Made sure it was done. Okay, so there. There’s a real angle to this Harry Cary stuff. So they’re actually incorporating that into the musical. That at the far end of this, if you’re not a good missionary, you might just have to take yourself out, like Brigham Young said. I mean, and they talk a lot. It’s kind of like that return with honor thing with the military. Like that. Again, back to the military. Like, you would rather die than dishonor yourself. The fact that you mentioned military, because in the rest of this song, there’s a lot of lyrics about, like, being a mercenary and, like, taking people out and stuff like it.

There’s. It’s weird that they’re talking about spreading the word of God, but it’s in very militant, violent terms. Including the Harry Cary line. Yep. Yeah. Okay. So there’s early mormonism very much like that, for sure. There’s more interpretive dance. Okay. And then it. I didn’t even recognize this guy. It’s one of those cases where, like, you put on glasses and I’m like, I can’t even see him. He left the room. But this is pod from the very beginning. But in the movie halfway through, he’s kind of just like a weird, spiritual guy. Like, he’s. He kind of has this vibe of the first person that approaches him with the religion he’s on board.

And he’s just lucky that these two Mormon missionaries are the first ones that got on him, because there’s. There’s like a. I won’t be able to freeze on the exact frame, but they, like, give him the Book of Mormon, and he opens it up, like, halfway through, and he’s, like, pointing at something like, oh, wow, this is exactly what I’ve been to looking for. That was one of the questions that I had is that, does that seem reasonable that you would find a potential Mormon that not familiar with you and you actually let them read from the Book of Mormon right off the bat? I would assume they have, like a, like a clip version.

They would totally do that. They would totally be like, look at this verse. They have certain verses, and now it’s all on phones. But it used to be in that mission training thing where they’ll say, this one will really touch them. Like, if they’re asking about this, or this one will really touch them if they ask about that. And there’s a whole, like, because my. My neighbor went on a mission, and when he came back, he came back really abruptly because of the vid in 2020. He was one of the first ones to get it. That was in the mission field.

And so they sent him back, but he was showing me the phone that they give him, it basically, you type it in, like, this person asked, blah, blah, blah. And then it gives them, like, a way to go, oh, go to this scripture. Oh, go to that script. You know? So, yeah, seems like we could replace missionaries with AI fairly easily. I mean, they kind of do that already, except they’re the real handshake and the smile. Right. Might be better for all these people. Not. Not realigning after marriage. Right. For their marriage. All these kids, more demon spawn with their midriffs and denim.

Yes. I can’t there. And this is where they really push this, like, zero population thing in the. And he tries to bring the zero population idea back to the family, and they surprise him with this one. It was weird. This is like a really weird thing. So the whole family lines up and they throw Jimmy a surprise birthday party, which he points out, rightfully, is awkward because he has a twin sister and she’s in on it. So it’s like she’s throwing the surprise party, even though it’s technically her birthday, too. But he kind of needs to pick me up.

Up. So everybody in the family actually has some kind of an important gift for him. The little sister gives. Gives him, like, her favorite stuffed animal, which is this monkey. Another one says that they’re going to make him breakfast in bed for a week. The little brother says he’s going to shoe shine his shoes, like, every day for a month or something. They’re all doing considerable gifts to him. And then they’re like, wait, mom and dad, tell Jimmy about your presentation. And his present is that they’re pregnant. And it’s just like, that is the crappiest birth.

Let’s just assume that he doesn’t care about the baby coming. He’s not for or against it. But it’s like, you didn’t plan this to be your gift, like, eight months ago or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, you just forgot to get me something, and now you’re just saying, oh, we’re pregnant. Happy birthday. Like, that’s not a real good. Yeah, no, no, that was silly. I think that probably wouldn’t really happen. But honestly, like, mormonization moms do have babies on and on and on. I mean, right? But you wouldn’t say that, like. And it’s not even like she’s having a baby now.

It’s like, in a couple months in the future. So it’s like, congratulations on your birthday. We’re six and a half months along. Yeah, no, they. I don’t think they would really. It was cheesy. Yeah, that was a weird. Okay, well, she. She knights him, and then. Oh, we just. Here, let’s. Let’s get to the spot. So here he’s like, mom, you’re going to be popping out tater tots. You’re 40. You can’t have a real kid. And then he, like, says something really nasty, and then the dad’s just gonna, like, lay down that Mormon book of law on him.

Yeah, you can see the posture. Bam. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know where that got delivered to, but it’s. It’s so fat. I mean, the dad. Yeah, okay. That was a backhand with a full wind up and follow through. I didn’t even realize that until this. Rewatching. Spinning backfist. Yep, that was a spinning backfest. He takes Jimmy out, and Jimmy’s gone. Jimmy is no longer part of the family. But the ironic part is that the rest of this family, after he runs out, they’re all just like, why won’t Jimmy just get on board? Why can’t he see the light? If they just go right into that condescending talk amongst themselves again, and not one person’s like, dad, maybe you shouldn’t have hit Jimmy.

Maybe you shouldn’t have physically assaulted your own son. Because he was laughing. Yeah, that’s not it, though. No, he gets. He gets condescended to, like. Like, all of this he brought upon himself. And he’ll come back and get more slaps once he comes to his senses, essentially. That’s very prodigal son. Very prodigal son story here. This is where they’re kind of going with that. And. Yeah, I mean, but that’s very common. If. If you’re an apostate and. Or not active in the church, they do treat you like that. And we’re not, um. Like, we’re not the ones.

Right? We’re not the ones. We. Our house is never an option. Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever, is never at our house. It’s always at the good son’s house. There’s a good son in our family, and it’s. Everything’s at his house. Everything has to do with them because they’re good, and they go to church and. Well, they don’t want to go to hell. Yeah. So. Exactly. You were asking if there’s a black guy in the movie. There you go. Oh, there he is. There is a black guy. This is the. He has a billy look, which is even worse.

There’s a good one, too. It’s in the dear John segment, but it’s for, like, a frame. They’re just passing the letter, like, across a bunch of Mormons, and they just. So they kind of balance it out. Okay, so this part I do identify with quite a bit because these are, like, the bad kids. And I’m going to say, like, this. This is kind of like going to public school, right? Like, if you’re being raised in a little isolated family and they’re all Mormons, and then you send your kid off to public school. This kind of was what I was taught in public school and what people would talk about.

And it’s namely things where they’re like, jimmy has, like, the most cliched, like, I’m a 7th grade communist. You know, I just read something edgy, and I heard rage against the machine for the first time. And he’s like, dad, we can’t have more kids because kids go to hungry every night. Why don’t we spend our time improving their quality of life instead of bringing more into this world? And it’s this, like, weird bleeding heart thing that is very much used. Like, that’s the real justification that you would hear from, like, school and whatever, cartoons and your friends.

But the concept was like, we’re going to run out of resources. We’re going to run out of water, air, land, oil. Just, you name it, we’re running out of it. The only way we can solve it is have less kids. And this is what they indoctrinate Jimmy with in his public school, you know, friend group. Group. And he brings that back home. And that is literally the worst thing that you could tell a Mormon is saying, like, we’re going to stop having kids. Yeah. Can’t do that. Because then. Then they’re not going to bring all the spirits down.

They’re waiting up there and they really coming. They put this guilt on the women. I will tell you, if you decide to stop early, right? Like, even. Even if the mom’s mentally not okay, like, having more kids or they’re really poor or whatever, they’ll tell you, like, oh, we’ll help you get food. We’ll have you. Don’t. Don’t make that the option. Don’t shut the factory down. Keep the heck. Keep that thing turning that. Yep. So there’s Marmon guilt on that one, too. Is. Is the guilt like murder? Is it like, if you don’t have ten kids, you only had one, you effectively killed nine? I mean, they don’t say it like that, but they’re.

They. They imply a lot of things because basically all these kids are in heaven and who knows how many there are. Like, you never get a number. You never get like a stop, a stop point. You know that if you were just to stop all of a sudden and you have this many people are always asking, oh, when you’re going to have another baby, you know, it’s like a thing. It’s very, very common to have pregnant moms at high school graduations or weddings. What’s the most number of kids that you remember growing up with in a family? Well, in a normal, typical family, a non polygamous if we have to, 1111.

But my polygamist, brother in law, ex polygamist, his mom, just one mom, not the others, had, I think he said 16. So yeah, that’s impressive. That’s crazy. 16 or 13, I can’t remember. But there was a lot. It was. But you’re saying that even if someone had 16, a year goes by and people are going to be like, so when 17 coming, like, there’s no expectation that like you’re done. And there’s a show about this with the Duggars. What is it? How many and counting something and count. Is that a Mormon family? Yeah, yeah, the Duggars.

That makes so much more sense now. Yep, yep. 16 and counting or something like that. I can’t remember how many kids they have. We have to google that. But yeah, no, they have a lot. And just keep having them, having them, having them. Even if it’s not the best idea. 19 kids and counting. Geez. And they’re not polygamists. Yeah, they’re normal people. Like, well, as normal as a clown car personified could be. There you go. Yes, normal. The two missionaries in this movie, they’re talking to each other and he’s kind of recounting all the numbers they went through.

And I assume that these are hyperbolic for the sake of the movie, but he says that, that in one month they visited 5000 homes, uh, that they were going on their missionary work for 18 hours a day. They had 125 discussions, which is a really horrible rate. Maybe it’s good, I don’t know, 125 out of 5000. Um, and that the main goal is they need to get a baptism. Even just one would be enough for them to consider it a success. And I think they only get one. Is any of that realistic? A is it realistic that you would go to 5000 houses in a month all the way to.

Would just one baptism be enough for two elders to go out on a big mission and only come back with one new Mormon? That almost seems like you would get folded. They would be happy. They would be happy if you still just got one. But I don’t think you could do 5000 a month. That seems like really? They visited 5000 houses. Yeah, that seems out there in a month. Like, that seems okay. Well, we’ll accept that as in movie magic, but the, like, would it really be okay for you to go out with a companion and you only come back with one Mormon? I mean, they’re happy for anybody that they get baptized.

And remember, these are self funded, so it’s not like the church is out anything. I mean, this is a dollar, 500 a month stipendous, you know, that they have to pay to go. I mean, I know that this doesn’t sound right the way that I can describe it without sitting down and trying to reword it in a way, but like, if you were to tell people, hey, normally we would send our son out for how long? Our missions again? Like two or three months or something. Two years. Oh, okay. We’re going to send our son away for two years.

We’re going to foot the bill for all of this and maybe one other person. So two people putting the bill for two people to live in a foreign city for two years, all the food, all the travel, everything they need, all accounted for because they’re not allowed to have jobs in some cases, right? No, you can never have a job, Jeff. You could just go to someone and be like, hey, instead of paying two people for two years, I’ll give you that money. But you have to become a Mormon. It seems like you would get way more Mormons.

So this is what it says. According to Arizona Central, in 2014, the average number of people converted by an LDS mission per year was only 3.5. And in previous couple per year for what? Yep, one set of missionaries. So that’s like, what, seven for the full two years? It was ten. It was five each year before, but now it’s down to 3.5. I mean, let’s say they’re paying a grand a month in rent between the two of them. They’re going to do another 500 a month split for food and other stuff. So that’s 1500 a month times 24 months.

So we’re talking close to 30 grand. You could probably. Well, I don’t know. I don’t know if you. How much would it, would it cost for someone to convert you to mormonism? And I guess I’m not talking to you, Heidi. I’m talking to whoever’s listening. But how much money to be baptized? And. And do they have to stay baptized for a certain amount of time for it to count. They would want, well, you’re going to stay on their records forever unless she petition. Like, you have to go through a whole big thing to get your records off.

They’ll count you forever. But they want active people in the church. So they definitely want people that want to be there, basically, not just for money, because they’re going to end up in these positions where you’re volunteering, like I told you, like, the ward clerk doesn’t get paid, the bishop doesn’t get paid. They need these volunteers to do all this free work. You know, there’s a lot of stuff going on that’s free there. So you can’t just have people that are going to sit home and be like, jack mo, you know, jack mo or no, no help.

They’re not paying tithing that they’re not funding the church, they’re not doing all the extra things. You’ve got to volunteer to, you know, be a teacher. They’re going to call you to something. Every Mormon does something in church. Okay? So you can’t just be a Mormon in name only. Like, there’s lots. Okay, you’re. You’re bringing me back to reality again. It’s sounding less appealing now. Yeah, they can’t, because they need people on the long term so that they can get, that they pay 10% of their gross income to the church every year, which is verified by your tax returns.

And then you also have to accept. But you’re calling, like, they’ll say, oh, God told me last week, Jenny, that you should be teaching the primary kids that are three years old and go crazy every week. And even though you have nine kids and you don’t want to do that because, you know, you have nine kids and you don’t want to be around more kids during your church time, but now you’re going to be the teacher for the three year old. Better not talk back to God, a parent spinning backfist. But, I mean, this is the stuff they need.

They need active members so that they’ll go through and go to the temple. And it’s like this big cycle. So, yeah, they got to have some active people. They got to have some interest. All right? And then, um, so sometimes two Mormons don’t gain one, they lose one. Because here’s an example. Pam dies. Pam goes to the hospital, she dies. One less Mormon in the world. Um, but she, she was such a good one. She was. Yes. Out of the two, she was the only good one. She was the only one that could maybe keep Jimmy on the straight and narrow.

Dang it. And she dies. And Jimmy’s kind of torn up a little bit by the guilt, but not enough to go back home and become Mormon again. That only happens when he blame him. Well, he meets Todd in the park, who is quite effeminate. And I don’t mean that in a disparaging way. I just mean the look, the mannerisms, everything about him is very effeminate. And it all, like, I didn’t know because I hadn’t seen this movie before. I didn’t know what kind of weird routes they had already made jokes about incest and abortion and a whole bunch of other things that felt like they were.

Would have been off the table. So I truly, when I saw this, thought that he was hitting on him and this was going to turn into, like, a whole different, like, as a way to teach him of how evil the world was and go back home. But no, he. He kind of becomes friends with this effeminate dude who then draws him, and he keeps telling him, like, no, go back into this pose. Like he’s Leonardo, you know, DiCaprio, painting the chicken titanic a little bit. So he draws them, and he’s like, I don’t draw people the way they are.

I draw them the way that they can be. And he shows him this weird, like, sketch of them, and then he shows him a sketch of himself. So this guy’s kind of a creeper weirdo, right? He’s just, like, out looking for God and friends and drawing people and approaching them and telling them their lives are going to be better, I guess. Like, he’s not a Mormon yet. Good. You can be. This is how you can be. You could be better. And I think this is just planting a seed. Like, nothing actually happens as the result of this.

He just kind of plans this little seed in Jimmy’s head and goes about his way. Here’s the. Okay, the bad people, again, are really selling. They’re trying to sell Jimmy on this, like, zero population thing. Like, they’re very one no, like, if you want to hang out with this crew, you have to fully embrace zero population. I don’t understand the name they’re calling it, though, because zero population just means everybody’s gone, right? Yep. That’s not a real. Even if you were to buy into the nwo, it’s not a real thing to say zero population. Usually they want to cut population by, I don’t know, half or something, Thanos style.

Well, and this, apparently, I just had to look this up, because I wasn’t sure why the hell this movie got so damn popular with the Mormons, but it really is. And it says, originally it was produced in 1973 as a stage musical for a class in California. And so apparently it got performed at Brigham Young and became popular there later in 1974, and a full stage production took place at that point, and it took until 1989 to produce the movie. But this has always been a very classic thing for parents to say to their kids. Like, I have to tell you, like, growing up, this kind of means end of day kids.

Like, we’re like the last of the preordained to come down. And parents will say, well, you’re a Saturday’s warrior. And I’m like, fine, don’t. My mom said that to me a month ago, and I almost lost. Okay, so the title Saturday’s warrior basically means, like, the battles tomorrow. You’re the last one that we got. So we’re counting on you. It’s up to you. Yep, you’re one of the last few. And, you know, they’ve got a, they’ve got a whole saying for this in, in the church. It’s like the proud, the true something. I can’t remember. But anyways, basically about.

Yes, it’s like an end of day slogan. Yeah, I’ll have to look it up. It’s. It’s like, like something like that. And. And, I mean, I heard it the other day because I did an interview with this guy that left a different polygamy sect, and he brought it up, and I was like, oh, I remember this. I remember this now. And it’s kind of like a slogan. And Saturday’s warriors, kind of like a slogan for we’re like that generation because the second coming is coming, you know? So, yeah, that’s kind of one of the exciting parts about Mormonism.

But again, it’s like, if you look back in history, at least for me, if you got me jazzed up like hell, yeah, I’m Saturday’s warrior. I’m going to go and kill these demons. I’m the last one in line. But then you start reading about your history, it’s like, oh, they tell this to every generation. Like every kids in the last generation, the end times are always next month. It’s tomorrow. Yeah, I think Joseph Smith predicted it multiple times during when he was still alive. That’s one of the cool parts of Mormonism to me. Not like that sells me on it, but makes it interesting to me.

Is that for the long. For like 100 years at least, every new, like, upstart in Mormonism was always, and they weren’t like some time in the abstract future, they didn’t even say lifetimes. It would be like, it’s July in October. The world is ending, and people would, like, freak out and like to get ready by October. And then it’ll be like, oh, actually, maybe it’s December. And they’ll, like, always be scrambling month to month. And I guess at a certain point, yeah, you can’t always do that. You have to have your, your food storage and all this stuff.

They really, they really put that on you and you feel really anxious and nervous. Like if you’re a new married couple and you don’t, you don’t have that yet, it’s super expensive. And you’re just like, oh, my gosh. Because they want you to have two years of food storage on hand at all time for every member of your family. And so it’s like a honestly, I think, idea. But it’s very stressful when you’re a young couple and you can barely make ends meet for today, let alone for tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, you know? Yeah, it’s a little stressful, but you get it done.

Everybody does it. So at the end of the movie, the two elders run into the feminine dude on the bench, who’s Todd, and they convert him to mormonism within, like, minutes. Like, again, he was just looking for somebody, anybody to pitch a religion to him, and he would have been all sold. But he loves mormonism. They get really happy that he’s going to go back home and they’re going to baptize him, right? And then, so that we’ve, we’ve got the scene where they’re at the airport and they show up, and here’s the two elders, and he’s all excited to see his girlfriend, and they embrace.

And then he’s like, oh, and by the way, you know, here’s Todd. Here’s the guy that we brought back to get baptized here in Salt Lake City. I assume that’s where this takes place. And his girl immediately locks eyes with Todd. And it’s like love at first sight right here. And not only is it love at first sight, but then the boyfriend sees this happening and you just feet in his face, he’s just like, oh, God, how could this be happening? And it’s weird that they all kind of accept this. It, it’s just like, oh, crap.

I guess they did know each other in heaven or something. Right here. This is where he realizes. And then they reach for each other this is, like, the slowest cooking ever. And then, bam, it’s over. And he. And he realizes he’s, like, begging her. He’s like, please don’t go. Not for this effeminate Todd. And it’s done. And then his friend knows he’s already like, bro, like, come on. This is clear here. And that’s it. That’s. That’s the movie. That’s movie. And then. Oh, don’t forget about Emily. Emily gets to come. Emily does get to come. At the very end.

The very end of the movie. Oh, where is she? Oh, yeah. On a rainy storm. Yeah. Emily. Emily pops in at the very end. And then we have this weird, really weird credit sequence. I’m not even sure he’s holding up a sword here because they make this analogy earlier on that he’s getting, like, knighted by his sister and he’s a war. Okay, I get it. Yes. Saturday’s warrior. Warrior. This is, like, the worst kind of. This is the dumbest kind of warrior to ever be. I would rather be an ultimate warrior, not a Saturday’s warrior. Yeah, Saturday’s warriors.

No, no bueno. It’s. You’re. You’re on call for a long time because apparently the end of the world’s going to happen again and again and again and again. So they’re. They’re people that died. Saturday’s warriors. I’ll see if I can pull up some of the newer one, too. I don’t know if I can show the clips from it. It is interesting because they come with a completely different aesthetic for the second version of this. So you saw the original one. What was your takeaway? Did you see it 20 times? Did you see it a couple times? Oh, it’s not a lot.

Yeah, I can’t remember. In the cinema. I once in the cinema, but then they played it at church and they play it in seminary. You forget. I go. I went to seminary for four years. So they definitely played it a couple times in seminary because you have to go to. Well, now they make them go before school because it takes up a credit, because you don’t get credit for the class, but you can, you have. If you’re a good Mormon, you go to seminary for four years every year of high school, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, you go.

One class a day would be dedicated to this. So. Yep. To studying the Book of Mormon. And did you even know that the 2016 edition existed? I heard that they redid it. I didn’t. I did find it on YouTube as well, too. If you put it in there. You can find the full one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It. It’s on there. But it. I hadn’t watched it for sure. I was out, so I wasn’t signing up for that hit. Well, I watched it. I did for you. I watched it. I saw both of them, and I’m glad.

I’m glad you saw it. I did think, what if you had to compare the two? What did you think about the second one? The problems were more realistic, which I thought were funny. They definitely did a better job that way. Like, how they were real worried about this girl. I thought it was weird that they opened with baptist gospel. Like, that was. That was very weird. I. And also, they’ve got, like, every skin color and hair type represented in the background here. Very, very conscious as almost like a Hyundai car commercial. It was very. That was very weird for me because I was like, this doesn’t.

We don’t. We don’t dance in white Rose is this way. Is this not a scene out of an actual Mormon church right now? No way. No, never. There’s no choir that sings like this. If you’ve looked up the Mormon Tabernacle choir, that’s as fancy as we get. And it’s very structured, and there’s no fun stuff. They make it look pretty fun. This looks kind of fun. Yeah. Nope, none of that. It’s not. Okay. Oh, man. And then here’s where they’re doing, like, the joke about, um. Like, can we go at the same time? Like, are you gonna love me? Are you gonna sleep with other women while you’re down there? And he’s like, babe, like, I won’t even know that you exist.

And she’s like, that’s no excuse. If you loved me, you’d remember. Yeah, no, it’s funny. And, I mean, it’s. This is in English, just so people know. But they did translate it at the bottom, so. But it is in English, and it’s weird. They’ve got, like, a little hallway that you walk down. So when you’re actually going to enter Earth, I guess you walk down this hallway, and when you get to the end, you’re, you know, being delivered. Is there. Is there anything on record of, like, what actually happens? Like, where are you actually right before you pop up on earth between pre existence? No, they don’t say, but they do call it the veil.

And I think that’s why they represent it with the tunnel, because there’s, like, the veil. And once you pass through the veil, then that’s when you get the amnesia. So they’ll sometimes say that babies are really close to God still, and they’re still, like, really close to the veil. And you’ll hear people say that quite often, like, oh, they probably feel God’s spirit with them still or see things that we can’t see or whatever. So, yeah, I think that’s what they’re trying to represent there. Let’s see. There was a couple things that sit out in the sun.

Slightly more diverse cast. There’s a song where they’re singing about 100 years is just a blink of an eye that I. I don’t know if they sang it in the first one or if I only notice it in the second one, but if that’s the case, then, like, how long is Emily really waiting? Let’s say that they don’t get around to having Emily. So she’s stuck up there. She’s only waiting. The blink of an eye, right? Yeah. They do say stuff like that, that, like, God’s time frame is so different than ours that it is the blink.

That is a term they use. Right. So if someone’s guilting you into having more kids, can you just be like, don’t worry, it’s just a blink of an eye? Like. Like, she can wait, but then she doesn’t get a body, and if she doesn’t get a body, then that’s a problem. Even if the baby’s a miscarriage, they still consider that being, like, born. Um, and she’s. Your life was just fast, but you have to be brought here to earth somehow. But. Well, is there a chance that Emily will just get it on the second time around? Or it’s like, you get the one chance, and if no one has Emily, because then what happens to Emily? If no one actually ever had Emily.

Yeah. She would have to be reassigned to a different family. I think that’s probably her. Her haste, like, oh, no, I don’t want to go without my family. You know, so, I mean. I mean, could you be just stuck? Remember the show? Remember in the show where they were like, that was a false alarm and he had to go back? That one was weird. I think that might have been a representation of a miscarriage for him. I know that was in. That was in this one, the second one, because the difference is that in this one, Jimmy, it follows the same plot line, right? So the 2016 version, they lean a little bit more to the music.

So it’s not just Jimmy falls in with a crowd that’s, like, telling him about this. This zero population. He’s got a band that he’s part of, and the band starts to blow up. It’s a rock. Yet, the rock band. It’s very mild. It’s very weird. Boy band. We’ll say boy band. Yeah, it’s not even that edgy, but, yeah, sure. Boy. Boy bandish. And they want him to write him. Write a song that promotes zero population abortion by name. In the first movie, a little girl’s like, do you mean abort? And as soon as she gets that far, someone’s like, don’t even say the word.

Which felt like they were talking directly to the audience at this point. Like, don’t even say the word out loud. Like that. That would be harmful. And this one, it’s in the song lyrics, and it’s, like, part of the hook. Again, it’s like, abortion. It’s the only way. Like, it’s actually the whole song there. They went there. They’re. They’re edgy now. So that. So that’s the premise of the second movie, is that he goes all in on this band talking about and, like, singing this abortion song called zero population, and that his family shows up in support one night.

And, like, as he’s singing, you know, like, about all these people and how we should eliminate more people and there’s not enough resources, and he looks out as a family of, like, nine people in the audience, and he realizes he’s kind of being hypocritical because he comes from this family that’s got ten times more than everyone else that he’s advocating for. And they slowly, very dramatically, are like, lower their heads and shake it. Like, oh, Jimmy. You know what I mean? Like, you’re so dumb, Jimmy. And then you see them in reverse, wheel out his twin sister as, like, she goes out of the light into the darkness.

It is like, the most foreboding, foreshadowing thing. As soon as they did that, you’re like, she’s gonna die. She’s done for. That’s it. Yeah, no, it was definitely. And, yeah, the family’s just like, oh, my gosh, look at this. Shamefulness. Shame, shame, shame. And he goes on tour, and again, just like the first movie, his twin sister diese. And he. And I guess he goes back home, and he’s trying to come back to mormonism, actually, before she even dies. I think after one of those first shows, he’s like, man, I really don’t know if I truly believe in the zero population stuff.

And he goes to tell his parents, like, look, mom and dad, I want to come back home. All that stuff. It was a mistake. But they misinterpret this when he comes back home, and they don’t let him to get this out. And then they mention that they’re having a kid, and he flips out, and it turns in, like, this whole big thing. And even the mom’s like, honey, you know this isn’t what this was about. But the dad is too stubborn and stuck on something, so he ends up pushing Jimmy out. And then Jimmy, they’ve got this hilarious montage where he’s, like, sleeping late in a car, and then there’s another scene where he’s, like, in a restroom, and there’s toilet paper all over the ground, and he’s kind of, like, passed out slightly, but never once do they show anyone smoking, drinking, drugs.

It’s just. I could watch it and just be like, oh, jimmy’s, like, just sleeping in a lot now. Like, Jimmy is partying. He is not one of the one. Mighty and strong. That’s what I was trying to find earlier. Okay, well, that’s the implication is that he’s, like, partying so hard that he’s passing out, but they never actually show him doing anything at all other than him being passed out. Zachary. He had a Coca cola. That’s right. He had a mean Coca Cola. Maybe two. He had a jolt cola. He had a bang. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh.

Monster energy drink. Actually, Mormons drink those all the time. So, yeah, he goes back home. He tries to sort this out with his parents, and then his mom starts going into, like, early contractions or something. So, yeah, I do think because they show Emily in heaven, and Emily, he’s like, all right, this is my time. And the lady’s, like, holding her back. Like, Emily, calm down. It’s like, you still have to wait a little bit longer. And they’re kind of implying that, like, Emily’s trying to just, like, punch her way out of that womb. Like she’s ready to go.

You know what I mean? Because she’s the last of nine kids. Or ten. Whatever we’re at now. It’s her uterus, man. Her uterus can’t take anymore. That’s what it is. It does in. In real mormon lore now, right? Not in the movie. Does Emily get to see any of this happening, or is she just waiting in, like, a. Like, an empty room for something to happen to her, supposedly? You can watch your family. Yeah. Okay. It’s a little screen show. You know, you get to see what’s up there. So because they. They don’t really imply that very well in this one.

Um, but it does show Emily every once in a while, like, oh, Jimmy, did you forget. Like, did you forget about me? Did you break your promise? Jimmy’s a dick now, and he doesn’t care. Yeah. Uh, they repeat the same joke about delivering babies to the wrong mothers, uh, which, according to Heidi, that’s not a real thing. I wanted to think that that was a real thing. Jimmy the actor opened for Aaron Carter in the real world, so he was on his way to becoming, like, a true big boy band. So Jimmy is almost an autobiographical role for the guy that plays Jimmy in a weird way.

And speaking of that, in the first movie, Todd, the main guy at the beginning and end, he went on to play in another mormon movie about pre existence called space or star Child. I didn’t get to Starchild. I need to watch that. I couldn’t find a copy anywhere. I only found one result of a VHS that was sold on eBay in 2018, and it must have found anything else. It must be something they don’t want out, because that’s what they do. They get rid of shit. Like, when you can’t find something and you go down a rabbit hole of something that’s been produced by Mormons or for Mormons performance.

That’s why. And I think it’s a little close to Moonchild by Alistair Crowley. And to be honest, I said that when you send it to me, and I thought, yep, they’re going to get rid of that one. If anyone’s listening or watching, and you can somehow get your hands on DHS copy of Star Child from 1999, we will 100% watch it. And I might actually lose it in a bad part of town where they rip those things and they put them online into websites. It’s a horrible world out there, and I’ll try not to let it fall into those kind of hands, but it might.

Especially if I can get a vhs copy. Listen, they’re the ones that put it out. Let them reap the benefit, sorry to say. It’s always gold. It’s always gold. There might be a book. I wonder if there’s a. If it’s based on a book. Let me see. Because even if we could get the book, that would be great. That was the only real thing that the actor Todd did, again, was played in this starch movie. I know why. Because it says that it, around the central conceit of the movie seems to center around a constellation, that the characters are star children from stars, and they supposedly go to embody people.

Yeah, this is like on redem it and it says, anyway, what in the hell is going on here? It’s so funny. And I guess this is like the sequel where WALL E and his mission companion are at BYU together. So WAlL E, it’s a direct sequel with the same characters. Okay. Focuses on romance plots rather than family relationship plots. It’s also crap. Compared to Saturday’s Warrior. It had no budget, terrible music, awful choreography, dumb characters. It was made in 1999 and it feels like somebody’s cheap cash in. So that’s what. Could you imagine comparing something to Saturday’s Warrior and being like, Saturday’s Warrior was far superior in the choreography.

That was like so much better. Oh, that’s hilarious. That sets the bar pretty low to where if I do find it, I might actually enjoy it because now I’m expecting it to just be like a, like a home movie, I guess. Like the credits of the first and Mormons are mad. Mormons are mad on this Reddit. Saturday’s Warrior takes tons of liberties with our doctrine. It’s too spicy. Yesterday’s Warrior is too spicy for some Mormons out there. Whoa. Yeah. Okay, lady. I’m. I mean, yeah, they took some doctrine and kind of made it funner, but it’s still the doctrine.

Like, come on now. The 2016 version is way spicier than the 89 version because a, they say the whole word abortion out loud multiple times. They imply it. They imply the concept of, like a miscarriage with the kid. They have a joke that they’re running out of space and they’re going to have to kick another kid out to make way for the new one. And they’re like going around the room and they actually point to Pam at one point and it’s like she dies later. I don’t know if you guys know this, but you’re joking about this and she is going to leave to make room for the new one to come in.

The dad bust into Jimmy’s room and he’s like, enough with this hippie crap. You know, you need to think for yourself. And he, Jimmy, to his credit, he’s like, what about you, dad? Have you ever questioned anything that the church has told you? And I felt like that was a pretty good response and no one had anything to say for it and Jimmy just storms out. But that is like, like, right? Can you be a more in and criticize your kid and say, think for yourself for once? You’re just like setting yourself up for that one, aren’t you? They would not.

They would not tell them to think for themselves. I don’t think because that leads into a whole rabbit hole. That did happen with my husband once. And he was like, okay, so Joseph Smith felt like he should go pray and think for himself and think about this. And so we see where this is going. Not like that. Yep. And then they were like, oh, oh, time out. You are not the prophet, young man. You are not the prop. Think for yourself. But like this. Not like that. There’s another really weird joke that happened in both movies that I didn’t get, but it was so freaking specific that there must be a mormon thing behind it.

So in the first movie, a little, the missionaries are in the park, the elders, and a little kid runs by with his parents and he just snatches this kid up like a complete stranger. And he goes, hey, kid, how old are you? And he goes, I’m six. And he goes, get out of here. You’re not eight. And then in the second movie, the same thing happens. He picks a little girl up out of nowhere and he’s like, are you eight? And she goes, no, I’m only seven. And he’s like, get out of here. So what is it about eight year old can’t baptize under eight years old? Eight years old is the age that the Mormons believe is the age of where you can accept yourself in basically where you’re not innocent anymore.

Until the age of eight. You are completely innocent to do any damn thing you do because it’s forgiven. And you don’t have the age of accountability yet. That is a real term. Age of accountability is eight years old. And it is the first time you can be baptized is at eight years old. So, so if we assume that Saturday’s warrior, the scene in the park is real, let’s like, like step inside the movie, assume that this is kind of like a real reality. A Mormon grabs an eight year old kid that’s with their parents. What’s the next step? Do you just start converting the eight year old? Do you sell them on the book of Mormon or doesn’t like when you have to sell the parents and then get the parents to baptize them? Or could, could you go and find an eight year old that has his own family and they’re like jewish, but you convert the eight year old, you have to have parental permission for sure.

So I think it was just a funny joke because I don’t get the Mormon humorous steps. Wouldn’t be like, let’s talk about this a whole bunch right now. It would be like a slight introduction, and then they would set you up for the missionary discussions, and the missionaries will come to your home, so. Or wherever you could eat. Hey, our church has cookies. Do you like cookies in church? I like coffee in church. That. That blew my mind. To a christian church, I was like, wow, you get to have coffee here. Geez. Scandalous. That’s. Yeah, that’s kind of funny because that was a big.

That was a big thing, is people before church would congregate around, like, the little coffee table, or they’d have, like, little pastry tables and stuff. Like, that was always a church thing. Yep. They do that in other churches. And I remember the first time I went to a catholic church with my in laws because they’re very Roman Catholic and they’re irish. They still hate me for converting their son. Imagine that. Because they’re mixed. They’re literally irish and mix like Mick, you know, McDonald. McMillan. Mick, whatever. And his mom almost was a nun. She’s still mad about it because I don’t think he ever fully went back.

But I remember going in there and being so holier than now and leaving in the middle of the ceremony crying because I knew the truth, and this wasn’t it. Oh, my gosh. It was so bad. And my husband’s like, oh, my gosh. You’re so dramatic right now. Like, you’re embarrassing me. And now I look at that and I’m like, wow, I was a huge dick. And there is a shirt that says, I’m sorry for the things I said and did when I was a Mormon. And I think that’s the funniest shirt ever. Yeah, I’m gonna put that on my.

On my shirt thing. But it’s just like, okay, yeah, I get it. Because you think you’re so. You think, like, you have this knowledge, like, these parents, like, you’ve mentioned in the. Earlier in the show, and you really do feel far superior. Far superior. And if you’re a Mandev and you have the priesthood, you’re even, oh, my gosh, you’re so much more exalted. You know, it almost feels like words so far beyond the time of, like, literal puritans, you know, like, salem witch trial style puritans. But that, I guess that’s the closest thing that comes to mind would be, like, a cross between Amish and Mormons to have that same level.

And it’s a. In a weird way, but it’s have it, too. Like, with their. They do some superiority stuff, don’t they? With their. I. Yeah, I guess so. That’s a. It’s a good point, but it’s more of, like, a chosen people thing, more than. It almost feels like they’re superior on a technicality, not just out of pure moral standing, whereas I’m talking about the jewish people that have the ringlets. The Orthodox. Yes. There’s also this. This weird feeling of. And I guess this applies to Orthodox, too, but, like, a Mormon person can offend you by how much they’re offended by something you’re doing.

So it’s like they won’t even say anything bad about you, but just the way that they’re just like, oh, God, I need to get out of here. Like, that’s offensive because they’re offended, right? It’s a weird. No, that’s real. If you start talking theology like that, they will get up and leave. Like, they can’t be here hearing all that. Or if it’s really offensive, like, me and my husband have to really be careful because some of the shit we say and cuss words, by the way, at dinners, I mean, my kids have slipped multiple times. I think one of them even said the f word to his mom once, and I was just like, oh, my gosh.

What are you doing? Like, it’s just everybody knows you just don’t do that. Yeah. Pushing the limits a little bit. Yeah. You want to die? No, it was just like, an accident because she says things off the cuff all the. She’s hilarious, by the way. But, you know, she just says funny jokes are off the cuff. Things that are funny to us, but not so much for the other people in the room. So I’m like, oh, please stop. But, yeah, gotta reign it in. There’s one other song in this, in both movies that I didn’t get.

And I don’t know if there’s, like, a mormon thing, but it’s called I’ve got daddy’s nose. And that was so weird. I don’t know. Does that have anything to do with mormonism, or is that just a weird song they added? I think that was just weird. I thought it was weird that they brought it back in the second one because it wasn’t funny in the first one. I think it was just showing how cheesy they actually were. Like, oh, we’re so innocent and delightful that we sing about noses. Okay, well, the first movie was an actual song.

Like the full dance production, everything. And the second movie, the dad comes out and he’s got, like, a fake nose and glasses on, and he’s like, hey, kids, what if we did a song called everyone’s got my daddy’s nose. And everyone’s like, oh, my God, that’s the dumbest idea ever. This is so stupid. We’re not going to do that. And they do a very abbreviated version of it that. So this is weird. This is in a really strange place where the second Saturday’s warrior from 2016 is both self aware, but it’s not self aware enough to not keep doing the same cheesy stuff.

It was super cheeseball. Like, I don’t know what they were doing with daddy’s nose. That was weird. I thought the same thing when I was rewatching it. I’m like, was it this stupid the first time I saw it? Like, I certainly do not remember all of this ridiculousness, but apparently. So it’s really weird to have them repeat the same horrible jokes separated by, like, two decades. Right? Like, 20 years have gone by and no one came up with a better joke or a better scene for almost over half the movie. Like, it’s. It’s literally. But they did get a baptist choir in there, which was.

Yeah, they managed to get the baptist choir there, and they said the whole world abortion a few times in the song lyrics. Yeah, no kidding on that one. There’s also weird show. I was gonna say there’s. There’s zero character development in any of this. Like, Jimmy never really finds ultimate truth. He never has a spiritual moment and comes to God. The only thing that happens is that his sister dies and he feels bad and he goes back home. The end. Right, right, right. Yeah, no, I. I mean, I think it’s more leaning toward. It’s more leaning toward the prodigal son at the end.

I feel like they’re setting it up, but maybe they were setting it up for that weird sequel. You know, you mentioned prodigal son, so. Prodigal son. I know from the real Bible, not the fake Mormon Bible. Is it also in the Mormon Bible? Do Mormons read the Bible and cite the prodigal son? Do the Mormons have their own version of the prodigal son? On. No, they believe in the Bible in as much as it’s translated correctly. So they’ll. They’ll cherry pick the shit out of it. Um, if it suits a narrative, they’ll definitely use it. If you come to them and say, what about this verse about it says, if a prophet is ever wrong, even once, they don’t want to hear that.

No, no, no. Because Joseph Smith was wrong a few times, and you cannot have the theology without him being 100% truthful and correct. So you can’t go there, but you can. What was he wrong about? Oh, he was, there was multiple predictions he was wrong about. I can’t remember. There’s a list. We could go over them. Did he make specific claims? Like on April 14? This is gonna happen? Yep. Yeah. Setting yourself up for failure. If you ever wanna make prophetic claims, you always gotta be vague. Don’t give exact dates and times. You say things like when the moon is at its bluest, you say weird stuff like that.

I’ll look them up. And then if you, if you go there. Failed prophecies of Joseph Smith. Because I wrote down a whole bunch one time because we were going to, we were going to go over this and, I mean, they’re not like, earth shattering, but they’re definitely there. Prophecy number one, the coming of the Lord. And when it was going to be he, I think he named a time, let’s see, prophecy was spoken in 1835 and it didn’t come true. And then, so they redid it and kind of gave an excuse for that. And then it says, oh, one about David W.

Patton. They said he would settle up all his business and make a dispensation that he could go on a mission the next spring in the company with others and twelve, including himself. The prophecy was made in 1838, and he died in 1838 and couldn’t go on a mission, obviously. Hear me out, though. There could be another David W. Patton that they just didn’t know about. That did go on for sure. Yeah. But definitely they didn’t have the end of the world come Congress. This is kind of a cool religion. It’s like, my religion contains a prophecy about the United States government being overthrown, finding treasure in Salem, Massachusetts.

Pestilence and earthquakes to destroy the wicked, which, that one, I, I mean, I’ll give it to him. Maybe it didn’t happen yet. Right. Temple to be built. Like, if you found the treasure, you’re gonna go around telling people that you found the magic treasure from Salem. Because if you did that, Mormons are probably gonna be like, well, technically, that’s our treasure because Joseph Smith, like, prophesied this, so you can’t just take it. I assume that’s how that would work, right? Exactly. And it’s kind of funny that they do this and they’ll have an answer for everything, just like what you’re doing.

They’ll be like, well, maybe there was another. I would have been really good at being a Mormon, especially this angle. Pestilence, hail famine. Earthquakes destroy the wicked. It’s, like, on that one, that one could happen. Yeah. Timeline. Yeah. It’s not on a set timeline, but the one was, and he missed that one already. Yeah, I think he might have. Maybe he learned his lesson. He was like, damn, I shouldn’t have said next summer. He should have waited. And that’s the one. But it says if he’s wrong even once, and then they’ll say, well, that’s just nothing trans.

You know what? He wasn’t speaking as the prophet that day, Thomas. He was speaking as a man that day, and he wasn’t speaking as the prophet that day, so he could be wrong. And that’s what every other word was coming from the man, and then every other word after that was coming from the prophet, and you’d have to actually separate them and put them together. They do that with the king fallet speech. You. You need to look up the king fallout speech. It talks a lot about a whole bunch of things, including colab, and that is the one that they’ve also thrown out and said he was speaking as a man and not as a prophet.

So there’s a lot of issues around the king Follette disclosure. Yep. April 7, 1844. Joseph rose to speak in what would be his last conference. He explained that he would speak about the dead in response to requests from family and friends of King Follett, a church member who died in an accident. Oh, my God. Is he going to, uh, like, summon the dead and speak to the dead? What. What is this? Ah, it goes into Cola. It goes into a whole big thing, and it was not well received, and then he died. So people were like, well, maybe he was just speaking as a man, and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

And I think we have to put in King Follett speech, and then maybe, like, what’s the word? Not conspiracy, but issues, I guess, with the king Follett speech. Issues with King Follette speech. And it goes on and on. Well, it says, since 1844, the church has continued to teach the core doctrines Joseph presented in the king Follett discourse and view the plan of salvation in light of the truths Joseph Smith taught about humankind’s premortal existence, mortal experience, experience, and divine eternal potential. They. They say it’s not accepted as official doctrine, and this is the one that gets into collab, and they don’t like to say that was theology.

So they say, no, they say it is not canon. They will not back it, and it is not part of scripture. So, I mean, obviously, it gets into sticky waters. When you never know what when I. They’re the prophet or not. Right? So now that’s why they have conference bi yearly. It’s twice a year they do a conference to the people. And it just barely happened in the spring and in, like, the fall time, they. Everybody stays home on Sunday, that Sunday and watches tv, and it’s hours long Saturday. Warrior. It’s not Saturday’s worry, but it is awful.

And you have to sit there and listen to the people address the church about the current issues of the church. And a lot of the times that will be when they address things like, don’t get on the Internet and search for little truths. Like, this has been a problem, or whatever. Whatever’s the problem at that time, they’ll kind of tell people, or they’ll say, you guys aren’t being neighborly enough to your ex. Mos, go and get them back in the church. Go. We need to really be. And you’ll notice because everything will change. Like, one day you don’t exist in the neighborhood, and the next day everybody’s like, sister Sophie.

And so I’m like, nope, I’m not your sister. Nope, keep walking. You can just tell that. Yeah, it’s like the new HR directive got passed, and now everyone’s trying to, like, meet the quota. I’m like, please don’t come to my. And it. It must have ramped up last year in the wintertime because I had the missionaries come over and over, and finally I was just like, listen, I can’t have you come in here all the time. Like, you’re trying to get in the house just by saying you got to use the restroom and stuff. You’re making me feel bad.

Like, I let you in, and you’re trying to talk to everybody about this book, and I just don’t want to hear it. Like, I know all about it. And so now I’m just like, I’m an apostate. And you can’t. It does. It’s not going to work. My husband likes to mess with them, though, so they come back because he’s like, they’ll be like, oh, can we share a message from the book of Mormon today? And he’s like, can I share a message with you about the Bible? Because my husband likes to do that in real life.

He hates it online, but he’ll do it in real life. And I’m like, I’m not. I’m completely the opposite. I’ll do it online, but I hate it in real life because in real life, I got shit to do. And I’m like, no, you’re not penciled into my book today. I am busy. So, yeah, and it doesn’t work. And they’re just sweet people that honestly, they don’t know what they’re doing and they’re just kids. I feel bad, like, I don’t want to destroy them. Yeah, my dad used to do some pretty, say some weird things to the Mormons.

They would come to the door. I remember one time time he always thought was so funny, but it was, it was kind of cringey. It was kind of like an Internet mean girl cringe. But his favorite one was like, hold on, real quick, I just need to go and beat my kid again a little bit. And like, I don’t know if they took it serious. Like they always knew that this was. No, so this isn’t like the eighties, nineties. So it wasn’t like a CPS kind of situation that you guys didn’t care at that point. And he wasn’t actually beating me.

It was just like a thing that he would say to like be silly about it. I wonder, could, could we put somebody’s name on the Mormon list to make sure that the Mormon show up every, like, if I just anonymously emailed the Mormon church and said, hey, you know, Jimmy at this address has been talking about wanting to join Mormonism, but he doesn’t know anyone that’s in Mormonism. I’m not a Mormon, I’m not interested. But Jimmy is. Here’s his name. That would probably work. And even better if they’re an exmo because then they have a record in the church and they know where you live and they can verify it.

So, no, I just, I just want to like start signing some of my problematic neighbors up to get. Mormons probably do that. You could probably get that to work. Honestly, they’d probably be like, yeah, that’s great. I mean, what’s the worst? They’re getting doors shut regardless. I mean, three people a year. I had no idea that it was like that, that kind of numbers. I guess when you grow up as a Mormon, you really think like how that Saturday’s worried like 5000 talks and blah, blah, blah, you know, you’re like, oh yeah, they’re out there really doing this and they’re, I mean, I would assume that you’re aiming for like one every month or two.

Yeah, yeah, I would think. I mean, I definitely know some overachievers that have done that. Like, like in the business world you’ve got what like cost to acquisition, like how much it costs to get a customer, customer, like the very first one. And usually you count on them to come back. So over time, it balances itself out. But the cost to acquire a customer, in Mormonism terms, is like five digits, right? It’s like thousands and thousands of dollars. Yeah. I had no idea. I had no idea it was at that level. And it’s decreased and it’s continuing to decrease.

So that’s kind of funny to me in a way, but they really, really, really focus in on third world countries, and that bothers me on a lot of levels because they go and preach certain things that they know will resonate with people. A lot of times, the main thing they’ll say to you is, do you love your family? Yes. Do you want to be with them forever? Especially if they’ve lost children, lost parents? It really sticks in the heart, you know, like, oh, yeah, I do want to. You know, I didn’t know that was even possible.

I thought they were dead and gone. Like, what are you talking about? Well, guess what? We do baptisms for the dead and ceilings for the dead. And you can be with them dead people forever. Forever and ever. And that’s the whole thing. But they really concentrate on family stuff. And also, you know, a lot of latin countries are very family focused anyway. I mean, honestly, it’s not. It’s like selling it to the crowd that’s already ready to buy. You know, they’re preaching to the choir fire. So, yeah, kind of weird, but even white and delight some parts, like, oh, just skip over that line.

That’s fine. They do trust me. They make sure they skip over all the parts until you’re already baptized. And then you’re like, wait a minute. Your church was racist. What? And then, like, they try to hide all of the things. And I’m not saying they haven’t rectified a lot of of it. That’s great. But not, not fundamentalists. Fundamentalist Mormons still are very racist, and they still go by the one drop rule, by the way. Well, and the movie sort of implied some of this, and. Yeah, so the weirdest part about the movies was that they clearly, in my opinion, are not recruitment tools.

These are like, you’re already fully into the Mormon ways of thinking. If you’re not, then there’s really nothing in this movie for you. Why are you even watching it if you’re not a Mormon? Yeah, why? You’re not a Saturday’s warrior. What the hell would you know? You know? That’s why it’s such a random title because only a Mormon would know what that is, right? You’re not going to know what that is if you’re just a normal. Like, if somebody came up and asked ten of your friends, do you know what a Saturday’s warrior, they’d be like, party.

Yeah, I know. I’m on board. I mean, honestly, that’s what I was thinking most of the time. That Saturday’s war warrior was him going out and like hanging with his buds in the, in the denim jean jackets and stuff. Yeah, that’s, I mean, you have no idea about, like all of this end world, mighty and strong, blah, blah, blah, all this weird shit. I’m telling you, like, you don’t know the theology, so you wouldn’t really probably click on that movie. Typically. You’d be like, skip it. Plus, it’s a musical. Ew. Probably why they made it a musical, because most people are going to miss me with that one, especially if you don’t know what it’s about.

Like, you’re not going to sign up for that. The end times prophecies are one of the quickest ways to lose me. And it’s not even that. Like, I’m against the, like, the fear porn angle. Like, I like getting scared. Like, watching horror movies. The thing that turns it off for me, for all of, like, the end time stuff is if you just do a numbers check on how many people in history have predicted it, and guess what? Every single one of them has been wrong. Because as far as I know, we’re still here year. Unless the rat, like, we missed the rapture by like a few generations.

And. But in that case, right, if every single person has ever been wrong, like, you’ve got to have some balls on you to think you’re the one that finally got the date prediction right out of that. Like, not thousands of people, thousands of years that people have been predicting it right on record. And now they don’t do that. They just always say, oh, we should always be prepared. I like we’re living in end times. I like that phrase because there’s not a date on it. And like, sure, we’re living in end times. The world’s going to end in 50,000 years, blink of an eye, right? Yep, yep.

And, and they’ll play that game now. They’re smarter now. They’ve, they’ve refined all of that. Um, but also, like, are they even living true Mormonism anymore? Like I said, I talked to an ex, another ex polygamist, just barely. That show’s not out yet. And he even described how, like, their book of Mormon is very different from the Book of Mormon with the mainstream church. And the Book of Mormon for the mainstream church admits it’s been edited and revised, 4000 revisions. But they like to say, oh, they were just like, they’s and thou’s and this and that.

No, they weren’t. There’s theology that’s taken out. So is there a name for like the most og, original Joseph Smith Bible? Um, the. There is a name for everything they don’t like. And I’ll tell you what that is called. The Journal of Discourse. The Journal of Discourses is something that they take away a speech, any non theology, anything they don’t like, they stick in the journal of Discourses. And they say, that just isn’t true. We looked into it. We prayed to God again, this is going, this is in the out. And so they, they definitely, yeah, they have many volumes.

Many, many, many volumes of the journal. They’ve even disavowed the journal of discourses in a way, because the very first sentence says, the journal of Discourses is not an official publication of the Church of Jesus Christ Saturday saints. It’s just everything. Sermons and other materials from the early church, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So they’re just like, hey, we didn’t write it. Here it is. We didn’t write this. We didn’t do it. We can’t get rid of it. We don’t know what to do with it. But we also don’t want to throw it away because what if we’re wrong? What if it comes back? We don’t know what to do.

Like the black prophecy stuff is in here. Like not giving the priesthood to the black people and blah, blah, blah. All this stuff is in these. That it. Well, we’ll show them after they get baptized, then they can learn about that. Yeah, yeah. That’s. Not, that. Not. Don’t worry about the small stuff. You’re gonna be with your family forever. Even if you’re a servant, it’s fine. You’re not white and delightsome. You could be a servant and not have the priesthood. Whatever. Well, to no surprise of myself, at least book of Mormon, the musical is so much superior to Saturday’s warrior, it’s not even worth saying out loud.

But it truly is. Like, Saturday’s warrior turned me off of mormonism than anything that you’ve said to me so far, Heidi, about mormonism. Like all the magic and the polygamy and the abuse. Like, I would rather that exist in the world than another version of Saturday’s warrior. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Don’t remake it again. But I do want to see the star child because the fact that it’s not available has me really curious. What the hell’s in it? It’ll pop up on one of those site and, I mean, you’re in freaking Salt Lake City. So if anyone can find it on offer up or like a garage sale, I would assume that you could find it easier than I could.

Definitely. I’ll be looking. Yeah. Be on the lookout. Post it in all your ex mode chats. Does anyone have this star child 99? It’s only on. I’m gonna ask my couple of my friends that are excellent. You’ve got to have it. You have to know at least a few people that have seen it, let alone maybe have a copy of it. Yeah, I’m gonna go through these Reddit threads because I had no idea that it was. I knew we talked about it being a movie, but I didn’t know it was a direct extension of Saturday’s warrior, which is funny to me.

And then hear me out, too. What if there was a Saturday’s warrior, but it took the approach of Warren Jeff’s clan and it was like the Warren Jeff Saturday War warrior. I mean, they probably believe in it, too. They probably, definitely believe in all of that. They believe they’re better Mormons than Mormons. They are the better. They are far superior Mormons. And not just Warren Jeff’s clan. There’s many called the work that I. The guy I talked to was from the work. He had a different one. But they have the real Book of Mormon, and they go by the letter of the law.

Well, they’re not sponsors only. Warren Jeff says so. Warren Jeff’s is going to be the superior mormonism, unfortunately. At least on the show. Yeah, on this show for sure. I mean, you know, we’ve got that in. I mean, my brother in law is his nephew, so I’m working on it. I’m working my way into the family somehow. Yeah, just marry one of the millions of wives. Like, what are you doing? Get on that. Just like they married William Morgan’s. Just like Joseph married Williams. Don’t you remember me from pre existence? It’s me. Yeah. How do you not remember me? Did you not watch Saturday’s warrior, Emily? Yeah, I bet that would work on a mormon girl, to be honest, which is sad.

I just. If I were to go to Salt Lake City and was, like, trying to hit on random mormon girl. Okay. And I’m. And I’m just, like, randomly hitting on some mormon girl. Could I just sing, like, the I’m so humble song or the Saturday’s warrior song? Would that have any way, or would they not even know what I was doing? I think most of them wouldn’t know until you made context, but some that are really devout, they just might. This isn’t something cool with the kids. I’m assuming the 2016 one didn’t catch fire. I don’t think so, no.

I haven’t heard much about it, and not like it did when it first came out in the eighties, man, that was a thing. Like, you were a Saturday’s warrior. Like, we all knew we were the ones. It’s up to us. And. Yeah. Okay. We’re all. That is kind of an awesome little challenge that the church put for the teens of the eighties and nineties. Right? Like, you guys are our last resort shoulders. Yep. And here’s a whole nother generation. And all of us are middle aged, so that was wrong. Big fail. That’s failed prophecies. Whoops. We’ll make another version.

We’ll say we’ll do it again. Do we have any, any ideas for what the next episode is going to be about yet? I think we have multiple ones on the table. Number one, we still got to do the mobsters and Vegas and Mormons. Okay, let’s do that. Let’s do that one. Yeah. Yeah, we got to do that one. And also, I have been finding out some fun little treasures about the CIA and Mormons and Aethereze. And I’m gonna see if my friend Tim Constantine will come on and talk with us because I’m game for all that.

Yeah. And he wants to do a show with you anyway, and he’s great, so you should. He’s the one. You’ll meet him when we do the alchemy thing. When we do it on that show in July, you’ll meet Tim, and that might come up, so. Okay, I’m in. I’m in. I like all. All the more Mormon content, the better. And I’m doing another run out. We’ll never. It’s. It’s a plethora. I’m glad to hear that because I need something to sell me back on mormonism after 4 hours of Mormon music. Yeah, the mobs. The mob is a good way to counteract that a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. And you should look up the sketchy history of Ogden and, and the madams. And they were even on ghost adventures. Pretty interesting. But I’m pretty sure the Mormons were involved in that some way. So we’ll. We’ll see. We’ll see what’s up there. Okay, well, we got plenty lined up. Vegas. Mormons, ghosts, mobsters. It’s all on the table. Aliens. Aliens. And do not forget about Valo. Lori Valo case has been decided, so now I’m not afraid of getting sued anymore. And it has this huge connection. And it would be a two hour show that is bananas.

But it connects to everything. They’ve been found guilty of killing their kids because they were NPC’s on the zombies that didn’t have souls anymore. So Mormon theology, the book, the work and the glory. So it sounds like a way better version of Saturday’s warrior. They’re just out killing NPC’s. Yeah. She just barely got sentenced to death, or he did. And I don’t know if she got death. I think she just got life. But, yeah, weird, weird stuff. Because their number in Gematria got so low that they were no longer considered a live. So they died. They said they didn’t kill him, they just died.

They were little kids. Yeah, it’s all in the numbers, so it’s something. Yeah. All right, well, on a high note, what else you got going on? Anything else you want to promote? Yes, we do. A lot on my patreon about that case. Exmo Joe and I go hard in the paint on the ex Mormon stuff. He is an asian atheist. He is at completely the other end of the line of the spectrum than I am. And it’s kind of makes for good a good talk about all this stuff. And he is obsessed with Tim Ballard, Vallo, all that stuff between you and him, who’s right about God? Zachary? I mean, I definitely think I am, but he definitely thinks he is right.

He runs the hellfire agency, so that tells you his to join. His Patreon is 666 per month. I am only over on the christian end where it doesn’t cost that. So, yeah, it’s kind of fun. Three and seven, the holy Trinity and the number of gods. So if you’re, like, american, there’s no problems joining the paranoid American Patreon. And you should. Yes, definitely should. So that’s been fun and always. I’m always guesting on lots of different shows just because I think it. It’s fun. So my regular show is, as always, twice a week. And we’re getting ready to drop again.

We’re doing a Crowley deep dive right now, so, including the Golden dawn and different things about Crowley Lavey. It’s the Beast series. So that’s up right now for your enjoyment. Heidi, love at the unfiltered rise. And I’ll just play a nice little commercial for NASA comic and some other stuff. Join the damn Patreon. You’ll get your name in the credits at the very end for eternity and also everlasting salvation, forgiveness, and you’ll meet all your sky babies. There you go, sky babies. Ready for a cosmic conspiracy about Stanley Kubrick, moon landings, and the CIA? Go visit nasacomic.com dot nasacomic.com Stanley Kubrick put us on while we’re singing this song about nasacomic.com.

go visit nasacomic.com go visit NASA comic.com yeah, go visit nasacomic.com nestercomic.com CIA’s biggest con, Stanley Kubrick put a song. That’s why we’re singing this song about nasacomic.com go visit nasacomic.com go visit nasacomic.com yeah, go Visit Massacre never a straight answer is a 40 page comic about Stanley Kubrick directing the Apollo space missions. This is the perfect read for comic Kubrick or conspiracy fans of all ages. For more details, visit nasacomic.com yeah, I scribbled my life away? Driven the right to page will it enlighten my plane paper the highs ablaze somewhat of an amazing feel when it’s real to real, you will engage it your favorite, of course, the lord of an arrangement I gave you the proper results to hit the pavement if they get emotional hey, maybe your language a game how they playing it? Well without lakers evade them whatever the course they are the shapeshift snakes get decapitated meta is the apex executioner flame you out nuclear bomb distributed at war rather gruesome for eyes to see maxim out then I light my trees, blow it off in the face? You despising me for what, though? Calculated and rather cutthroat paranoid American must be all the blood smoke for real Lord, give me your dad day your way vacate they wait around to hate? Whatever they say, man, it’s not in the least bit we get heavy, rotate when a beat hits a thank us you well fucking niggas for real you’re welcome they never had a deal? You’re welcome, man they lack in a pill? You’re welcome yet they doing it still? You’re welcome.
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