➡ The text is a conversation about the Disney movie “Teacher’s Pet”. The speakers discuss the unique art style of the movie, comparing it to Mad and Cracked magazines. They also mention how the movie doesn’t fit the typical Disney style, but they enjoyed it because it was different and unexpected. They also talk about their surprise at discovering the movie, as they were not aware of its existence before.
➡ The text discusses a movie that didn’t do well financially, despite having a star-studded cast. The movie, “Teacher’s Pet,” had a budget of 10 million but only made 6.5 million. The author suggests that the movie’s failure might be due to its unconventional approach and deviation from typical Disney movies, which could have turned off the expected audience. The author also discusses the difference between financial success and artistic value, and how breaking even can be seen as a success in some industries, but a failure in others, like the movie industry.
➡ The text discusses the themes of a movie, the influence of school on individuals, and the original purpose of a dunce cap, which was to enhance intelligence, not to shame. It also shares personal school experiences, including a teacher who used a squeaky hammer to embarrass students who answered incorrectly. The text ends with a critique of the current education system, suggesting that with the internet and access to information, traditional schooling may be outdated.
➡ The speaker discusses how people used to memorize phone numbers, but now rely on technology to remember them. They also talk about their various projects, including a comic about the history of the Bavarian Illuminati and its connections to famous musicians like Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart. They suggest that the Illuminati may still influence pop music today. Lastly, they promote their new folk rock album and other products available on their website.
➡ Explore the unique and extraordinary with Paranoid American’s sticker sheets, featuring cryptids and cults. Engage with the real you through the power of writing, and navigate through life’s challenges. Despite negativity and opposition, continue to persevere and express yourself. Remember, you’re always welcome to join this journey of self-discovery and expression.
➡ The text discusses a movie that seems to promote a pro-transhumanist agenda through academia. The movie is about characters wanting to change their bodies, with academia encouraging this change. The text also discusses the author’s negative experiences with the education system, which they believe is designed to control what and how students learn. The author also shares experiences teaching a challenging student in Japan.
➡ The text discusses a movie where a dog wants to become a human and goes to a doctor who promises to make this possible. The text also explores the idea of transhumanism, which is the concept of humans enhancing themselves with technology, and how this could become normalized in society. The author expresses concern about this, fearing it could lead to a future where it’s abnormal not to have some form of medical or technological enhancement. The text also touches on the ethical implications of such transformations, particularly when they involve romantic relationships.
➡ The text discusses the author’s experiences and views on education, both as a student and a teacher. It highlights a story about a dog trying to become a person as a metaphor for the academic journey. The author also shares personal experiences of clashing with teachers, reflecting on how these experiences shaped their perspective on education. The text ends with the author expressing discomfort with the idea of adults choosing to spend their lives working with middle school students.
➡ The speaker shares their mixed feelings about school, recalling their own experiences and their daughter’s current situation. They express frustration with the education system and even fantasize about a chaotic, Mad Max-style school environment. Despite this, they acknowledge the importance of education, as their daughter chooses to attend cram school during her holiday to prepare for high school. The speaker also reminisces about their own reckless behavior during driver’s ed, highlighting their complicated relationship with academia.
➡ The text discusses a person’s experience in academia, where they noticed a trend of becoming more progressive the longer they stay. They also mention a conspiracy theory about a Soviet experiment to create super soldiers by breeding humans and orangutans. The text then shifts to a discussion about a fictional character, Dr. Ivan Crank, who is trying to create human-animal hybrids. The story also includes a teacher who wins an award and becomes distracted from her life, and a dog named Spot who embarks on a journey to Florida.
➡ The text discusses a movie where a dog wants to become a human, encouraged by a teacher who gets rewarded for her encouragement. The dog undergoes a transformation through a device called Nido. The text also mentions a joke about a doctor’s address being 666 in Florida, and the contrast between modern buildings and shacks in the state. The movie’s plot is seen as strange and breaks many norms, with a theme of “be careful what you wish for”.
➡ The text discusses a movie called “Teacher’s Pet” where a dog, Spot, wishes to become a real boy, similar to Pinocchio. However, unlike Pinocchio, Spot already has human-like consciousness. The text also mentions a character, Dr. Ivan, who despite looking evil, speaks nobly about the infinite possibilities for change in the world. The text also mentions various other movies and shows with the same title, “Teacher’s Pet”, and the difficulty in finding the specific movie they are discussing.
➡ The text discusses a movie where a character with painted nails is likened to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The movie includes a scene where a character stands on the shoulders of the seven dwarves, symbolizing standing on the shoulders of giants. The movie also features a doctor who successfully turns a dog into a boy and wants to present this to the United Nations. The text also discusses the idea of changing one’s configuration, possibly through technology like Neuralink, and questions the ethics and implications of such changes.

That’s kind of the ultimate path of the. The transhumanist movement, right? The transhumanist movement would be. It would be abnormal to not have a cyber deck built into your arm, which is cool. I’m not. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t get a cyber deck or like a bionic eye or like a cool little laser, you know, embedded into me like, I’m not necessarily anti trans human. It terrifies me way more than AI does that. The concept of transhumanism terrifies me more than anything. Ask about Illuminati sister. Charting the upbeat. Is it Disney mind control? Is this Mkochet deluxe? I call this Mandev.

Pinocchio seeks for no pleasure riding but traffickers need just falling mine Captain Hook a lost boy Neverland saving kids from Peter Pans to sound me no pisses survived the barracuda and that nobody needs no one no, I never took another breath where prince the angel of death has come we go from real to me go this day open me room and no more feel I go business ask her back to man I say I go business teacher go to everybody a court is there. Hello. Welcome to the Occult Disney podcast where we go turning into dogs looking for mice in all the corners of tv.

That’s gone to movies. That’s a new level of convoluted, I think. But everything I said is true. This is Matt here. It’s Thomas over there. Howdy. I might work through some personal issues on this one. Okay, well, you are in Florida. This movie’s in Florida. I was thinking, oh, is Florida going to factor in? Is it because of Florida? No, it has way more to do with, like, my experience in school and how I perceive this movie in my weird, twisted way. Okay. This movie being teacher’s pet, it’s on our list. We have to get to it.

I had no knowledge of this ip, I guess, whatsoever. I think you’re coming in from the same tilt. The same, except. So I never heard of teachers, Peter or any. I guess. It seems like it was based on another long running property. I don’t even know that. Two seasons of a tv show concluding with the movie. So kind of like the Disney’s Doug route. If you skip the Nickelodeon, which I know you don’t want, I know you don’t want to. I’m just making a metaphor. Don’t you dare compare it to Doug. Jim Jenkins is a God.

No, but this one I absolutely recognize the artwork through. I want to say some like, kid robot blind box figures or like a whole bunch of unrelated sort of artwork that I’ve seen from this particular artist. So when I, when I even saw this come up on our list of Disney movies, teacher’s pet, I was kind of shocked because I hadn’t seen this style in a little while. And then I was even more shocked to find out it was the same person that had done all this other artwork. It doesn’t feel like it fits in the Disneyland universe puzzle.

Like it’s a weird freaking piece. Yeah. This guy, Gary baseman is at least one of the creators. It’s also listed, it says, with some people who like rope for cheers or something, but he seems to be the primary mover here. And yeah, he’s like a pretty, you know, he’s an artist. Artist, right. You could hate Banksy or love Banksy, but apparently Gary Baseman is like a prime precursor to that sort of thing. Pervasive art, I believe, where it just kind of, you know, worms its way into general society instead of you having to go to the museum or something.

Seems to be his vibe. So my go to used to be juxtaposed magazine, and it’s basically just a whole bunch of art from a bunch of different, you know, people that have hit that sort of level. And I know his artwork was in that magazine constantly, I’m pretty sure. So that one, I know in the nineties we had running, you know, you’d go to Hipster’s house and find like the church or the sub genius, you know, magazine or something, which. Yeah, those were a little bit tongue in cheek though. Like, like juxtapose legitimately would just feature artists from all over the country.

Sometimes they would show a bunch of tattoo artists and stuff too, but that’s how I found almost, I would say, like a large majority of the different art styles that I still like today came from just reading those old juxtaposed magazines. I still have a whole collection of them that I like flipping through. Like, you know, I’ve seen them all so many damn times now that I know all the artists that came out of them, I’m trying to think of what stacks of magazines are rotting away in my parents house, which I think would probably be a bunch of cd reviews and entertainment weeklies.

Oh, and some rolling stones, all from the nineties. Thank God you saved all those. Yeah, mine is all. You probably won’t be surprised. Mad and cracked magazine. Oh, those too? Yeah, not cracked, but really, I really feel like I was almost more of a cracked reader than a mad reader at some point. I did love the website. When the website was cooking, which it has not been for the past ten years. That was a totally different crack from what I. I know, I know, but I’m just saying that’s the one I interfaced with. Otherwise, I was.

Why did I like mad better? I guess the art was more consistent. I liked Alfred E. Newman better. Yeah. I don’t know. Yeah, see, I didn’t even remember the guy’s name. I just know he was the little blonde dude that was always clean in bathrooms with, like, the mop and the hat. Oh, geez, Sylvester. Yeah, I can’t remember that. There’s a good point. I can’t remember that dude’s name. Right. So I remember Alfred E. Newman. No problem. But, but I mean, we’re talking art. I mean, this is all and that, honestly, it’s not too far away from cracked and Mad magazine.

Like that type of silly, like, over the top art. There’s some of that in here, which makes it feel like it doesn’t fit in that Disney puzzle, like I mentioned. Like, I’ll give a tiniest of examples that this just, there’s so many little details like this throughout the entire movie that this one might not do the whole thing justice. But there’s a scene when a cat and a bird are on top of a train, and the train, they hit a button and the train goes like, 5000. You see the cat’s skin, like, lift away from its skeleton underneath.

Yeah, that was unexpected. That. So that’s something that I just don’t associate with Disney. Any, I can’t think of any other Disneyland movie that we’ve really seen up to this point that has that sort of eighties, nineties, like, nick tune kind of feel. Like, if you told me that this was a Nickelodeon thing, I’d be like, oh, yeah, it totally kind of has, like, a ren and stimpy sort of feel and some of the artwork and some of the animation and just the creative decisions they make on, like, hey, how can we make this interesting? Some of it is just so anti Disney from what I’ve understood so far.

Yeah. And just to, just to hone in on that mad magazine comparison, especially if you go to the, I think it was a comic book for ten or 20 issues, and those were not, those were exactly like this. Or teacher’s pet was exactly like that, I should say. So if you go for those super early mad comic books, that’s this vibe, 100% so. And I say that in, like, a good way, I think. I think it’s, it’s like against what you would expect from a Disney movie. In a good way. Oh, for sure. I’m actually bringing up our list here.

I do feel like this is the one I just most purely enjoyed for some time on the list. Really? Yeah. Are you skipping Ghibli? Yeah, I am thinking strictly because Ghibli does have its own little special category here. Speaking my Internet issues. Nice to be talking to you, but my page is not loading, so I’ll just have to go by memory and say that seem to remember or. Yeah, I feel like this is the most I’ve enjoyed. Also, it’s just new, right? Except for my no kid seen all the Ghibli, so. Yeah. For how I’d seen one.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Teacher’s pet wasn’t anywhere on my radar. I hadn’t even know it really existed until it came up on this list. So I went into this completely blind, and I liked it. I don’t. I don’t know how much I. I have a hard time committing to saying, like, oh, it’s, you know, in my top if it’s like, the first time that I’ve ever seen it, because there’s a novelty aspect. And if I watched it, like, almost every other movie that we’ve gone into here, I’ve seen at least a couple times of the ones that stood out, but I almost feel like I’d have to watch this one three or four times.

And I don’t know if I really care about that much. I don’t know if I like it so much that I would watch it again next week. You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. If you’re going to put that on it, I’m not necessarily watching this anytime in the near future. So mostly because we have many things to watch. But I mean, honestly, if you were like, hey, redo Mononoke, because there’s another, I’d be like, okay, I think I’m gay. I mean, of course, I picked the longest freaking one on the list we’ve done so far, but, yeah.

Well, I did watch Mononoke twice last month for two separate podcasts, and that was fine. So. Point kind of proven, I guess. Now, that said, this one actually was a flop, it seems so. It had a budget, 10 million. It made 6.5, which is bad news. I mean, that has no factor on artistic value, of course, we were talking yesterday, I did a podcast where we were talking about 50 shades of black, parody of 50 shades of gray. When you looked at the numbers like, hey, this movie was really successful. It had like, a four time multiplier from its budget.

And I was thinking, what else came out that year? Pop star. Never start pop never. Whatever it’s called. The Lonely island movie. That one had numbers like teacher’s pet. It was kind of a massive flop, you know, so it made, like, half its budget like this one. So artistic and budget, you know, and financial, of course, are different creatures. Like, in the comic book world, it’s almost, see, I don’t have the exact numbers out here, and it doesn’t really matter, because that’s not what this is about. But in the comic book world, breaking even already puts you in, like, the top five percentile of all comic book creators and publishers.

If you just go by different properties. I’m not saying, like, an indie comic versus a Marvel comic, but just in general, in indie comics, if you just break even and don’t lose money, you’re Ballin like you’re basically rich. And then if you actually make profit, it’s like, an even tinier percentile of that. In movies, it seems that’s not really the case in movies. Uh, if you break even, it’s a failure. If you don’t make an incredible mound profit, it’s kind of like a failure, and you won’t really get funded again. So, like, there are these really huge investments, and it’s kind of cool how there’s, like, a new model, too, where people will make a movie that they don’t think that anyone’s gonna, you know, want to show it some huge scale and put into theaters.

They’ll just be like, I can make this. Because someone will watch this at 03:00 a.m. and they’ll like it, and a bunch of people watch at 03:00 a.m. and that almost turns into its own little model. And I definitely feel that this movie, this teacher’s pet, like, this could have fit into, like, some other, I don’t know, direct to video or some other ancillary that wasn’t the typical Disney movie pipeline, because it kind of sets an expectation that this movie doesn’t meet. And it almost, like, subverts what you would expect if you were to go and see a Disney movie.

And I realized that it probably had a built in audience, but apparently that built in audience didn’t bridge that extra gap of $4 million. It was delayed by maybe six months from when it was supposed to be released. And I wonder if just, like, in kid terms, you know, that’s enough for people to forget about it. So you said it was two seasons of a tv show. Were those two consecutive years, do you know? Let’s have a look here. I’m just thinking how like a little bit of time can just kill something like that said on here multiple times, I’m afraid.

Died in the wool trekkie. And they have prodigy, right? Which in the middle of the season had like a year break. And, you know, like all the kids, they were trying to get the attention of just completely, you know, forgot about in that little span of time. Hmm. I am not sure about the tv show. I again have to be talking to you, but it seems my Internet has gone crap. If it’s not open already, I’m not getting it. It seems so. That’s where I am. Anyway. It was, it was shortly before this. Maybe like 2002, 2003, if I.

If I remember correctly. Yeah. 2000. And so it went from 2000 to 2002. So it was consecutive enough within those two seasons that you would be able to keep sort of the attention span, I guess. Yeah. Or not. As the, as the numbers came out to say, oh, a week before release, toon Disney aired a four hour marathon of episodes for viewers to catch up on the series. But it seems it didn’t work. Wow. One of the lowest openings in history. That must mean for major films, because I’m sure there’s plenty of films that ate it that were indies, you know? You know what? If, if this were to come out again, like now, I think it probably would have done way better that it kind of shocks me a little bit that this came out so early in the, the two thousands versus, because all the names that are associated with it, they’re pretty much heavy hitters except for, I think, the boy.

But it’s got Nathan Lane is the dog who’s like, I mean, he’s been in a million movie. I just think of it in the producers, but he’s been in so many different movies. It’s got Deborah Joe Roop from the seventies show. And her voice is iconic. It’s got a comedian that I like. I don’t know my name, but David Stiers, he’s in this as Mister Jolly. Like, all he does a lot of voice acting. Yeah. And then the principal is Wallace Shawn, who’s the guy that’s in so many iconic roles. But Princess Bride, I think, is probably one of his, like, major ones where you kind of hear that like a high pitch voice.

Yeah, yeah. And just for keep on rolling, Star Trek, he’s the, like, I don’t remember his name, but the grand Negus. There we go. The Ferengi on Deep Space Nine, which is highly entertaining. Jerry Stiller’s here. Ben Stiller’s daddy, who was also Seinfeld’s daddy on that show, or. No, he’s George’s. George’s daddy. Sorry, I’m going, like, really Anastelle Harris. Okay, both of George’s Seinfeld parents are here. What do you know? Yep. Pamela Adlin, who had a show with life with Louis, and then she had her own, like, spin off kind of show, like, slice of life thing.

But, like, a lot of really qualified comedians all involved in this peewee Herman. Paul Rubin just got through that before someone starts yelling at the podcast that. I didn’t say that. Wait, Paul Rubin was in this? Yeah, he was Dennis. Okay. I don’t quite remember who Dennis is off the top of my head, but, yeah, he was in here somewhere. He’s on the list is Dennis. Yeah. It actually kind of shocks me that it didn’t do that great. But again, it’s not really. In my opinion, it’s not a Disney movie. I know that it starts with the actual Disney logo, and it’s even in this different art style and everything about it, but it just.

None of it feels like a Disney movie at any point. I can’t even imagine what part of Disney world this ride would be at. You know what I mean? Well, no, they do start with Pinocchio. Right. But it kind of, like, makes a parody of a lot of that. It also makes a parody of the dwarves, which we’ll get into in a little bit, too. But I don’t know. It’s kind of like making fun of Disney in weird ways, too. I don’t know. It just. I like it for every reason that it probably turned off some of the hardcore Disney crowd, because if you’ve got Disney and you can just throw that logo up before your movie starts, you just assume a certain built in audience is going to be like, hell, yeah, I’m here for it.

And apparently that one didn’t. It didn’t tickle them as much as it should have. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I got some quotes in here quite early on with what? It’s a bit early in the day for hypothetical speculations I should start using on this podcast, since it’s always morning for me. Sorry. It’s a bit early in the day for hypothetical speculations. Of course. That’s the whole point of the podcast, so that’s kind of a buzzkill if I do that. Shoot yourself pretty quick. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God, the names here. I guess these were made for the movie Barry anger.

That sounds like Kenneth Anger. Ivan Crankley. Uh, great names. Yeah, I’ve got some weaves on some of these guys, too. Okay, just now is when I, last night, I was not thinking Kenneth Anger, Barry Anger. Ha ha ha. But yeah. Now, in the cold light of day, ready for hypothetical speculations? I am looking at that name and thinking, wait a minute, you want to rip a band aid off on one of your speculations? Hypothetical speculations. Well, I mean, if we’re going to rip the band aid, I’ll just. I’ll just head right into it. And I’m going to dance around a little bit here, uh, too, just for obvious reasons.

But I want to. I want to explain how I was viewing this movie in a certain lens that could be seen on, like, a macro level. So I’ll talk about the macro level, but you can yourself surmise what all the different micro levels would this would be. I think so. Overall, this movie feels like a pro trans humanist agenda, uh, that gets drilled into everyone through academia. The academia is the pipeline for accepting the fact that, or refusing to accept the fact that whatever your chemical biological makeup is, science can supersede all of this. Academia is fully on board.

That science and knowledge and education can, like, supersede anything that nature might have instilled you with and any sort of facet of that. But that is ultimately the entire message of this movie. At least I haven’t seen the tv show, but this whole movie and everyone involved in it, it kind of all points to that. That it’s about certain characters that want to literally change how, you know, what their body is and how it works, and everyone is giving them the pros and the cons. But ultimately, it’s academia that’s like, do it. Do it. Like, this is the way.

Do it. And it just kind of reminds me of the current climate in academia, but also my experience in just going through school. Like, I absolutely hated it, absolutely traumatized. I just hated public education so much. And this. This kind of had all the hallmarks of all the things that I hated about it. And I’ve got it. I’ve got an index, so we don’t have to just be vague about all of it. Now, academia. Are we just talking high school here? I don’t know. You say high school, even military training, elementary school, middle school, high school, post.

You know, I also went to, like, a, like a trade school, kind of like art school, even that, man, it’s all the same damn Rockefeller sort of system, right? The whole fact that we need licenses comes from this prussian aspect of making sure that you learn that what we want you to learn, you read from the book that we want you to read from. So that’s the deepest rooted version of it. It’s basically just state sponsored programming. Yeah, because, I mean, there’s the more organic side of it. You know, growing up in Atlanta, I was in the punk rock scene, and also we were regular rocky horror people.

So some of my friends were in the cast, and people there were just, like, doing what they want. Right. So that’s cool. I love that. But. Well, within what context of academia. Oh, that’s no academia. That’s my whole point, that in that case, people were doing weird things and running around like this and like that because they wanted to, you know, whereas a university, you might feel like a weird pressure or something. No. To qualify that. This is specifically about how academia is one of the lifelines, and it’s encouraged to the point of being mandatory. That’s the idea here.

Jeff. Yeah, I’m trying to work out my experience. I was University of Georgia, 1997 to 2001. That’s where I got handed chick tracks. We definitely had those guys around screaming from the corners. I guess I was just stuck in the music scene. This thing. Where do you shift your attention? What am I talking about? I went to the journalism school for two years that did have, why don’t you write it this way? That was part of the teaching, because I wanted to be Spider Man. I want to be Peter Parker and be a photojournalist. But late nineties was the worst time to make that decision, obviously.

And they wanted me to be a writer. They’re like, you can write well. And that’s where I very quickly just cooled off. I didn’t think about, like, oh, they’re telling me to do this, or they’re telling me to do that. But looking back, I guess they kind of were. Absolutely, man, that’s because that’s what you go to school to do, is to have someone else tell you what you should be learning and how you should be learning it. It’s literally the purpose of modern day education, and you can’t really convince me otherwise. But is my tact just to walk away then because I changed my major, I went to a different school, and maybe 2004 or so, I didn’t.

I was getting tired of America and left. I mean, honestly, I think that you have a shortcut. Like, you are excluded from my criticism because you’re in Japan, if anything, maybe in a weird, twisted way, but I almost feel like if you’re spreading Rockefeller education through Japan, like, good on you. Like you’re continuing sort of the colonizing on the other side of the world. Like you’re bringing that Rockefeller education. Here’s, here’s what I know I am doing as a teacher, because sometimes you have a bunch of four year olds going nuts. I do use a fair amount of intentional kind of NLP stuff.

Sort of. I thought you were going to say opiates. Oh, that’d be fun. But no, no. Yeah, the neuro linguistic programming. I’m like, sometimes intentionally doing that with students. Like, I’m going to use this tone of voice and say it in this kind of way to. Because I know from experience that hopefully will have this kind of effect, you know? Um, occasionally I just have a kid that’s so nuts, um, that I. What are you going to do? I have one kid, he’s opium. Opium? Yeah. Well, he’s got something going on and he’s, uh, he’s going to be a James Bond supervillain someday.

He’s extremely smart and also extremely difficult. Um, so. Doctor Ivan Crankley. Yes. Yeah. Well, I have an ooze more like that from the mighty morphin Power Rangers. But here’s a couple examples just from the past couple weeks. I don’t see him that often. We had summer school, so a few weeks ago, and I’m going to throw an obscenity into this because it’s fun. A new teacher goes. And he’s like, what’s your name? Like in a condescending teacher tone because the kids like ten, right? And then, so he’s like, what’s your name? The kid responds, your name is fuck you.

I was like, I had to walk into a different room because I didn’t want him to see me laugh at that, you know? Japan? Yeah. Did he know what he was saying when he said that? Oh, yes, he knew what he was saying. I keep ukulele’s around. And one, I didn’t actually want it out, so I put it away and I kept putting in like, increasingly difficult places. He kept getting it. It was like high up behind shelves. And somehow he would, he builds guns out of paper and like, usable guns out of paper. And at the school, like, he doesn’t come with it.

He’ll build it, get rubber bands. And now he’s got this working gun that looks good. Can we get him on the show? I would love to do an occult Disney with him. And even if he just tells us how stupid and boring we are the whole time. This sounds like the coolest japanese kid I’ve ever heard of in my entire life. Oh, it probably. Teaching him can be like him and him alone. You’re the enemy in this. In this. Right, right. In a private class, you just need to protect your balls. When he saw me with my.

I hurt my arm. When he saw you, like, kind of like. Like with some concern because I think he likes me. Kind of asked what happened. I told him. He was like, oh. And then he tried to punch me in the balls. Like, yeah, this kid sounds awesome. He’s a legend. Yes. So. But where did I get on that? Oh, yes, yes. I’m talking about times when I would not even bother using any kind of teaching or quote Rockefeller stuff on the students. Like, it’s not worth it. This guy’s going to have an ion lair and try to take over the world in 30 years, you know? So I don’t know how the transhuman agenda is working in Japan through the schools and by transhuman, that’s literally what this movie is about.

So I guess that’s a better place to start for anyone that was kind of like me and you that this movie wasn’t even on their radar. And you’re like, what the hell is teacher’s pet? Teacher’s pet is about a dog named spot who wants to be a human. And he goes to school and he dresses up like a human, and he tucks his tail in and he puts, like, a little outfit on, and somehow he can talk, and it’s got that. I guess that is a Disney aspect, right? Like, for some reason, he can talk and people can hear him when he wants to talk.

And other animals can talk, too, but other animals don’t talk to humans. And if he’s in a dog form, he can’t talk to other people unless he wants. It’s gets. It gets. There’s rules. Disney rules a little bit. But the whole thing is that it’s teacher’s pet because he dresses up like a kid and he goes to school, and he wants to be human. And the premise of the movie, outside of just the teacher’s pet sort of license, is that he’s going to make this permanent. He finds this doctor who’s in Florida, and the doctor promises that he can turn animals into humans and maybe even vice versa.

So he gets a ticket to go and get this surgery to change himself into a dog, into a boy. Let’s. Let’s put a label on, uh, what I’m trying to work out because I guess you, when you start, it’s like, oh, the rocky horror crowd. But now I’m like, oh, are we talking, like, neural link stuff? What. What is your tilt on? I think it’s all of the above. So. Okay. I think in. But in both ways, in the. In the rocky horror way, but also in, like, the neural link way, because in my mind, those are sort of two paths that, you know, converge later down in the wood a little bit.

Okay. But the first one, I’m kind of like, hey, live your truth. If you really feel like it, do it. But neuralink, I am like, man, I don’t want a robot brain. Right? But see, what else would be such a nice entryway? At first, you’re just like, you can change your configuration at will, and you can be whatever you want. You can change it to be silly and almost, like, superficial about it. But the south park episode where Kyle’s dad wants to be a dolphin, and so he’s a dolphin, right? It’s kind of on that sort of a level.

But once there’s enough acceptance to like, yeah, why can’t I put the nose on the back of my head? Why can’t, like, if science lets me do this, why can’t I do that? And then if society says that if enough people do it, we make a special term for it, so now it’s normalized because there’s a name for it somewhere, and there’s, like, a certain critical mass that if enough people are acting a certain way, then it’s, like, accepted. That’s sort of the slow opening of the door into. So what if I’ve got a chip in my brain? So what if only 30% of me is human anymore? So what if only 5% of me is human anymore? And I don’t.

I know what the slippy slope, slippery slope fallacy is. I understand that, but I feel like this is a legitimate version of that, and it’s the same way. And I might go into a full blown tangent a little bit, but it’s the same thing that the prevalence of plastic surgery, and not just plastic surgery, but how unnatural and almost like cookie cutter it starts to get when everyone’s got, like, the certain duck lips or, like, the over injection, or, like, they get the certain fat removed. Like, there’s a certain look that people start to get when they’ve, like, just done x amount of work.

Once they hit critical mass, it’s just like, oh, you’re turning into a cat person now. That’s cool. But it’s. It’s also, like, a very specific look, and it almost feels that it’ll change into this. This mode where, like, it’s the. It’ll be abnormal to be normal. Like, it’ll be abnormal to not do any sort of medical procedure whatsoever, neural link or otherwise. Um, and, like, that’s kind of the ultimate path of the. The transhumanist movement, right? The transhumanist movement would be. It would be abnormal to not have a cyber deck built into your arm, which is cool.

I’m not. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t get a cyber deck or, like, a bionic eye or, like, a cool little laser, you know, embedded into me. Like, I’m not necessarily anti trans human. It terrifies me way more than AI does that. The concept of transhumanism terrifies me more than anything. And I would like the concept of I’m a dog, but I can be a man if I just get the right kind of surgery. Being endorsed by academia and promoted by academia feels like the whole premise of this entire movie. I told you I was going to work my own personal things on this.

Okay. Yeah, because I guess he does want to be the boy simply because he wants to be in school. That’s his main reason for wanting that. It seems. Otherwise, he doesn’t care. He’s fine as a dog. I don’t know. I don’t know. I didn’t get the same vibe. I got the vibe that he wants to be a human person. Like, because he doesn’t get to do any of the other. Any other things that a human person would do, which is emphasized by the point that the mom gets, like, a golden teacher award called the Nido award, and gets in this winnebago and has to drive.

This is problematic off the premise, but whatever Disney logic, she has to drive a Winnebago to this place in Florida, and there’s no dogs allowed in the Winnebago. So that just. It kind of represents, like, you know, you’re actually being prevented from doing this thing that you want to do because you’re a different species. So if you just change your species, which is completely valid and it works at first, it’s like dressing up as one, right? So the dog dresses up as a person, addresses up as a boy, but it’s not really a boy. It’s just dressing up like a boy, but it wants to go get surgery so that it actually would be a boy, even though it’s still just a dog.

Right. Like, behind it all, it’s still just a dog becomes a boy, which does become problematic in this movie, because at a certain point, the dog become, like. So spoilers. I guess it’s hard to spoil this movie. Yeah, we’re talking about the whole movie. The dog gets the surgery and becomes a human, except because a dog, uh, ages and dog years, instead of becoming a boy, it becomes a man. So now it’s like a fully grown man because instead of being, I don’t know, whatever, like seven, he’s like 49 or something. Five screenwriting points. They had, they had seeded that quite well, like, about ten minutes earlier.

So that, that, you know, it’s the joke telling thing where it’s, like, for the recurring joke, it’s like, wait till everyone forgets about it, then hit it again. And the script kind of nailed that on the head, I think. I think it was great. No, no, honestly, like, I don’t have any real criticisms about the movie. I’m talking my criticisms about academia and the transhumanist agenda just straight out. But. So, yeah, so anyways, the joke, which lands pretty well, is that the dog turns into a boy, but not a boy, a man, because someone forgot to do the math.

And now all of a sudden, they actually make a nod. It’s like, well, I guess I can’t sleep in, like, a kid’s room anymore because now there’s just, like, a grown man in a bunk bed next to a kidde. And, oh, yeah, maybe I can’t even, like, like, stay at home anymore because now instead of, like, your family dog, there’s just, like, a grown man walking around. So that that becomes a problem. But then he makes a fantastic decision. Yeah, right? Mom likes him. He’s like, well, I can marry your mom, and then you’ll get turned into a dog, and we’ll just flip the status quo.

But see, and this is the moment, too, where the, the kid goes, wait a minute. This has actually gone too far. This is the first time that he’s like, you can’t actually be a boy or a man. Like, you. Like, you’re still a dog. And this is causing a problem for me now, because now it’s hitting home a little bit closer. But at no point up until the dog starts hitting on his mom, right? Does he really express any true objection to this? His objections mostly were just like, oh, you can’t come. Or, like, don’t worry, we’ll go back to school later or something.

Like, there was all these different reasons, but now that he’s hitting on the mom, and it’s like, romantic. They’re implying that they’re going to be romantic. I’m your dad now, I think. He starts calling him son, and he’s like, stop calling me son. So now we’ve got to be my dad. You’re my dog. That’s the specific quote. And then I wrote one that was definitely not in the movie because it has obscenity. But. But, I mean, so again, the premise here, though, is a normalization of the idea that an animal could become a person, and a person can become an animal.

And not just that, but an animal that becomes a person or one configuration turned into another configuration, and then entering a romantic relationship with a third party that has no idea about the transformation that occurred. But, like, it’s. I don’t know, it’s, like, normalized. And it has. Has everything to do with academia, too, because this entire premise is based on a teacher that’s getting commended for, like, all these different medals and this dog that is becoming a person. Right? The dog that wants to become a boy also has all these academic credentials and medals, and, like, that’s why the dog loves to be at school so much, because it’s like, oh, my God, look at this dog that’s doing it.

Like, and they’re not supposed to know that it’s a dog trying to become a person. But I, in my weird conspiracy way of looking at this, every teacher knows that this is a dog trying to become a person, and they’re all just like, this is a great experiment. Like, we want to see how far this can go. And that’s. That’s how I feel about academia. Of course, there is a thing. I know people in high school that were, you know, just completely, like, social outcast in high school and were able to reinvent themselves after high school, which is very common to be what they wanted to be.

I think one of them ended up being, like, Elvira’s personal assistant for some time, so that’s kind of cool. Yeah, but they were. They were repressed by the academia, right? Where they needed to get out of it, whereas Scott the dog kind of part of it, seventies, eighties, nineties, even early two thousands, feels wildly different than, like, the mid 2000 teens up until now, in the 2020s. Like, it almost feels like a complete 180 from how some of this worked, right? Yeah, I guess that’s another me smelling it, not liking, and just walking away again. I first came to Japan 2004.

Before that, a year or two. Before that, I did do interviews at, like, public junior highs and high schools, possibly to do a job did not take. I think I even got offered one or two, and I just. I don’t want to go teach history in the backwoods of South Carolina, you know, and I didn’t. But I think there was more to it than that. You know, that’s when what, no child left behind and all that stuff. And I just. People were complaining about that, and it’s like this. I felt like I was going to prison by becoming a teacher at that point.

Right. So, I mean, it’s built and funded by the exact same people, right? Like, sometimes the blueprints are nearly identical. Yeah. I didn’t have a conspiratorial thought in my mind at the time, other than, I don’t like this. This doesn’t feel good. I’m going to do something else. And again, I’m working through personal things, but I made enemies of teachers as far back as I can remember. Like, I just always remember them as being bad guys. And I realize that now, too, in retrospect. Like, that. Like, that was me setting some of that up. But there were some absolute supervillains that were teachers as I was going through school, and they just.

I got lucky. Never forgive school for making me not like to learn. I’ll never forgive school for that. See, I had a very different track, I think. Starting in fourth grade, I went to the smart kids school where they, you know, I guess they vetted their teachers a little more. So most of our teachers actually were pretty good. I mean, there was occasion. I told you about my german teacher not too long ago. I believe that I had some horrible german teachers. And then when I finally did get a good one, I didn’t care so much that I ended up rankling with him anyway.

But otherwise, math, you know, aggressive math teachers that were aggressive about math. Let’s see. Our biology teacher kept talking. It was a very large man who kept talking about pokey out parts. That was kind of creepy. Were you a teacher’s pet to any of your teachers at any point? Maybe my photography teacher. But that was also because if you got buddy buddy with a photography teacher, you could basically spend half the day in the dark room, working in the dark room or just hanging around. So my senior year of high school, I spent half the day doing mostly nothing.

I have. I have an. I was the opposite of a teacher’s pet to where I had a class in which the teacher hated me so much, we actually made a mutual agreement. Like, we. We disliked each other so passionately, we made a mutual agreement that instead of going to her class, I could just go to the library and just do private study. I think that’s what we called it. And for the entire semester of that entire class, I just went to the library and got to do whatever I want. Most of them, I just went home.

Or I just came to school in, like, third period only. But it was like. And I remember going back because my mom was a teacher, and she ended up knowing this lady, like, later on in life, like, after we’re, like, years later, decades later, right? And I was talking to her and she’s like, oh, I’m going to go and see so and so. Like, you know, outside. Like, they’re both retired at this point. I’m going to go and see so and so. And I was like, oh, my God, is that this one teacher? I was like, tell her I’m sorry.

Because, like, in retrospect, I realized that she was just thrown into, like, a class that they were probably like, hey, we’ve, you know, we’ve got a shortage. Here’s the book. Teach this thing that you’ve never seen before. Like, I know how it works now, but as a kid, there’s this weird sort of, like, mystical lie that’s told to all single. All the kids, right? And the lie is kind of the adults know what’s going on. Like, they have some sort of authority, and if they say something, it means they’ve researched it and they understand it. And it’s almost like no one wants to break that veil.

Because if you break that veil and you tell 13 year olds, like, adults don’t know what the hell has happened. Like, I know, you know, I’ve known that all along. Now I’m justified to act like, you know, crazy, but I. That kind of was the rule. So, anyways, in retrospect, I realized that that one teacher got thrown into a class that she didn’t probably care about, didn’t know about. But it was like, this is the job. Do you want your paycheck? Do this thing. And I just made that class absolute hell until we came to what I would call the exact opposite of a teacher’s pet scenario.

I think there’s plenty of points where, yeah, the teacher himself or herself is maybe shouldn’t be there in the first place. I did do student teaching. I taught at a high school, Gwinnett County, Georgia, and I had two, like, overseeing teachers. And one was a relatively young guy, and he didn’t seem to like me much. So most of my rankling was actually as this, you know, as a teacher in training, teaching the class. He was like, don’t give him tests that stresses them out, or don’t put essay questions on tests that stresses them out. For history class.

What? So that sort of thing. And he actually suggested to my college advisor and actually don’t pass him. But the other guy, who was, like, 55 and more experience, this guy’s fine to do it. Anyway, the wheel of karma came around about a year or two later. As I’m looking the newspaper, it says that the guy that didn’t like me had been arrested and fired for sexually harassing the girls basketball team. So it’s like, okay, come up. There we go. Wheel of karma complete. And I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be too jaded in my.

My hate for academia and specifically state mandated, like, middle, high school. I think elementary school probably wasn’t that bad, but, like, middle school, high school. But I just. I’m weirded out by people that would want to willingly work with middle schoolers, like, throughout their adult life to, like, spend a majority of their day, multiple days, you know, years of their lives. So. And I. And I understand that a lot of people just, you know, like, being the change in somebody’s life and making all these connections and everything, but it weirds me the hell out. Like, big time.

Yeah. My middle school experience, I mean, as far as me teaching middle schoolers, because I teach age, like, one to 18 and. Are we talking Japan right now? We’re talking Japan. Middle schoolers in Japan are just, like, usually just like, you know, stone cold quiet. Like, getting them to say anything can be a chore. How are you? You know, you get blank stare from how are you? So I’ve had some cheeky junior high schoolers, for sure. Sounds like paradise. Honestly, that sounds like. Well, I know Matt Groening in school. Does hell put junior high as the deepest pit in hell, which, from the american perspective is probably correct.

Again, I had it skewed. I went to this magnet school, which I should also point out just the history of this was not, let’s make a great school for kids to go to. It’s because DeKalb County, Georgia, demographically, all the white kids live in the north half and all the black kids live in the south, and they didn’t want to do forest busing. So they’re so, I think to the supreme Court, they were like, well, look, we’re just going to bus everyone to this one school. And so my school is extremely well balanced, but most of the county, I guess not.

You’re not going to sell me on school, sir. No, no, I’m not. So I’m just saying kids are listening. Definitely stay in school. But also, I absolutely hate school. It is the worst thing. I hope that someone comes, I don’t care if it’s Trump or anyone else. I hope someone comes in, just absolutely demolishes the entire board of education and does away with it entirely and just anarchy. Just like Mad Max World. You show up to a school and there’s just like papers tumbling down the hallways, there’s fires in trash cans, like no one knows what’s going on.

That is an improvement based on. What is that movie? Class of 85? No, there’s a trauma film. That is that movie, which is great. Yeah, it’s a therapeutic movie. Newcome high. There we go. That’s nukem high nuclei. I think it’s a trauma film. It’s from the mid eighties and that’s what you’re explaining. It’s the Mad Max school. It’s a great caught little film. So I’ve worked through my own things. We won’t make this about me anymore. Okay. I want to throw in one more thing, which is my daughter’s teenage rebellion. So today she’s on holiday. 330 to 09:00 p.m.

she’s going to go to this cram school because next year she starts high school. Most japanese students have to take an entrance exam for high school. She doesn’t have to because she goes to a certain school. So she’s like, oh, I need to motivate myself. So I’m going to do this, studying this, go to school during my break, and then that continues a month after. And I’m kind of like, what? I gave you a telecaster. Play the telecaster. What are you doing? So she wants to go. She wants to go to school. And I’m like, why are you doing that? Yeah, have some fun.

What are you doing? I hope she didn’t hear me screaming this, but few rooms over. But yeah, I’m like, study less. What are you doing? That’s kind of, that’s kind of where I am. I’m in this very skewed slice of life. See, you screwed up, because if you just would have like, told her to study, then maybe she would have played the Stratocaster. Oh, no, I’m keeping the stratocasters here. I gave her a telecaster, okay, that’s right. It’s a step up from the pv raptor, though. Step up from pv raptor, for sure. And I let her sit down with a guitar.

I sit down with a jaguar and a stratocaster. Telecaster and Les Paul. Because I have too many guitars. Like, which one feels the best? She said telecaster. So she got the telecaster. It’s like, I got four guitars. I can put one in the other room. I can go play it if I want to. So, like, whatever, dad. The telecaster. Sure. This one. Okay. Can I go back to school now? Yeah. Really? That’s my life now. But it’s cool anyway. I just. That’s kind of. That’s. I feel like that doesn’t happen much in America, so I know I certainly didn’t want to go to anything academic during the summer.

The only time I did anything summer school is, I think, driver’s ed, which only kind of counts, you know? I just. I couldn’t do it during the actual school years. I had to do it during the summer. Oh, man. Yeah. I don’t want to. I don’t want to get too personal on this, but I guess I just. In retrospect, I was a horrible student at some aspects, but I had grown into being a horrible student again. I wasn’t a. I liked it up until middle school, but I also went to driver’s ed in summer school, and I was one of the only two people in the entire class that didn’t get their driver’s permit at the end.

And it was because, God, I was sneaking in vodka and water bottles and getting drunk. Not before I got into an actual car. I never drove drunk in school. I was driving drunk in the little simulators that they had left over from, like, the sixties, where it’s basically just a projector screen. Yeah, I love this. And, like, you’d have to turn the wheel and hit the brake and the gas, and you wouldn’t, like, obviously wouldn’t react to anything you’re doing. You’re just watching a static projector movie, but all the wires and stuff would be hooked up so that, I guess there was some software that could tell, like, hey, this idiot isn’t turning when they’re supposed to turn or they’re not hitting.

So, anyways, after the entire class, like, the entire summer, he pulled me aside and he was like, you’re one of the only two people that’s not getting a license. And it wasn’t because he had any idea that I was just, like, drunk driving the simulators again. Never a real car. I was never on the road, but I was drunk driving these simulators. And he was like, you’ve hit, like, every single person in the. In the simulation. Like, I don’t know what. Like, you were going, like, 90 miles an hour through, like, two or three of these sessions.

Like, you weren’t ever hitting. And I guess he just never. And I think I was just falling asleep in the simulators. But maybe that’s gaining too much of a. Like, I’m like, how bad of a student I was, and I definitely did not deserve or need to get a driver’s permit at that point. No, I got it about three months later. So. Yeah, no, I got. I got mine on my 17th birthday, exactly one year after you’re supposed to get it. So it just worked out that way. Well, and I wanted to get mine early, but mine just didn’t work out because I was supposed to get fast tracked by going to driver’s ed.

And you’re supposed to get, like, your permit, like, a year early, and then you can get your license, like, eight months or maybe even a full year. Yeah, that didn’t happen with me for good reasons. Yeah, I can’t remember how the timing went out. Now, a tangent on a tangent, but when you get your license renewed in Japan, they actually make you watch a video about driver safety. And last time I went, it was super dry. Just. Here are the rules of the road. Blah, blah. Diagram. Diagram. And in the middle of it, there’s some guy texting and driving, and then he hits a kid, and suddenly it gets really dramatic.

There’s dramatic music. The guys on the ground. No, there’s a crane shot. I’m like, what the hell is happening? The portion of driver’s ed I remember was just, like, weird movies were just looking at, like, what looked like. Like ground meat. And then a sheriff coming out. One on the highway. Yeah, yeah. There were so many of those. Well, if anyone wants to go back in the archive, we started a call at Disney in my previous podcast, oral hygiene, where we. We covered at least five driver’s ed films in there, if not more. So if you really want to hear me, just go on about driver’s ed films all day and blood on the highway.

That is on tape somewhere. Digital tape. Okay, I’ll snap that rubber band back when we’ll get to the proper movie, because I think I stretched it as far as going to go. All right, well, we left off, and I was just talking about how this dog is being commended with all these different medals and awards. So, of course, the dog loves academia. Academia is rewarding his quest to become a boy. Right. So they’re like, in fact, one of the medals is the self esteem medal, so. And there’s also a direct quote from the movie, and it literally said.

And they’re basically saying, like, school is a place where you can be anything you want. Even a dog can be a boy. Like, there’s something. There’s. Maybe I’m paraphrasing a little bit, but that was when I was like, damn, is this really what I’m. How I’m going to take this thing? They’re in fourth grade, by the way, in the movie, they’re in fourth grade. They’re definitely more advanced than I would expect from an american fourth grader, at least. Yeah, I guess I seem. I’m more like the dog. I got dumb awards to keep me going. I don’t think I had any particular goals in mind.

What was suggested to me, what did see? I’m so oblivious. Like, I’m like, I didn’t get bullied as a kid. I’m like, yeah, I probably did. I just didn’t notice. And, you know, academia is, like, they were probably pushing me in a direction, but I don’t. I don’t know what it was, and I guess I didn’t notice, I will say. I mean, just, like, you know, all of my classmates and most of my friends are just extremely progressive now. So I guess that happened. It tends to happen if you stay. The longer you stay in academia, the more progressive you’re gonna end up being.

And I. I think it’s almost like a. I don’t know what the exact formula is, but either you get weeded out, just natural selection, it’ll just be like, you. You just can’t keep hitting the purity test over and over. So you’ll fall off at a certain point. So anyone that stays in long enough, either they’re, like, battle torn, and they’ve. They know how to hide, you know, like, their true feelings if it’s not true progressive, or you just morph into the thing that you kind of have to be to stay in that environment long enough, or you take my tract, which is apparently being both inscrutable and unreadable, and then you get the hell out of the country, oblivious.

That’s why it’s inscrutable and oblivious. And then you leave the country. That was my anomaly here. You’re an absolute anomaly in every regard, in my opinion, here. Right, well, that’s why you do podcasts. Maybe, I don’t know, other qualifications is doing these transhumanist operations to turn dogs into boys. Um, is actually the uncle of one of the students that happens to be in the class. So it all, it all kind of like works out a little bit. But this is doctor, uh, Ivan Crank. Crank. Ivan Crank. And as soon as that, at least when the doctor Ivan came up, I thought of, uh, Doctor Ivan Ivanovitch.

Ivanovich Ivanov, who was the human Z doctor. I think we’ve talked about humansies before, haven’t we? Maybe we haven’t actually. Say that one more time. You know, a humanzi. Like a human, like a chimpanzee. Have you ever heard of this before? No, no, no. This sounds anunnaki, but yeah, go for it. Okay. This is a real thing. At least they, someone wanted it to be real at some point. It was the Soviets. And ill give you the conspiracy theory version of it. You can go and read the boring version on Wick Peel. Ill give you the good version.

And the good version is that the Soviets wanted to breed super soldiers. And one of the ideas of breed super soldiers was if you bred, despite the name Humanzi, if you bred an ape, or, I believe, an orangutan, with a human being, and you could get somewhere in the middle of human intelligence, compromised with orangutan intelligence. But if you could get the strength of an orangutan, or even half of the strength of orangutan to come along with that, and if you could fill a battlefield full of half orangutan, half humans that just knew, like, go kill that thing, if you could just train them to that level, you could just absolutely decimate any sort of like infantry combat, any kind of hand to hand combat.

The orangutans are probably, and again, we’re talking, I think this is the late 18 hundreds. I’ll just make some numbers up. I think this is late 18 hundreds. And this guy apparently did these real experiments, and he tried all sorts of different creative ways to get apes and monkeys and orangutans to create a human hybrid. You can use your imagination to all the ways that they might have tried. He tried all the ways that you’re probably thinking of and then some. He tried all the positions. The official story is that none of them ever took. And the project was abandoned in the end, which seems rational enough, but would they want you to know if they were successful and they were able to make an actual humanzi, ape, human, hybrid, super soldier? Is that Schwarzenegger? I mean, and that man’s never been explained by science has hedged.

I thought it was interesting that now we’ve got a doctor Ivan, not Ivanovitch. Ivanov but just a doctor, Ivan, that is pretty much doing the same thing. He’s trying to create a human animal hybrid. Yeah. And coming up with monstrosities. Right. That’s the second television appearance that these are monstrosities. So a direct quote is that. And this is his nephew, which is in the class of the teacher’s pet. But he says, they said, oh, what is everyone doing for the summer? And he, this is, quote, I’m going to go hang out with. Or he says, I’m staying with my uncle that does strange and disgusting experiments on animals and people.

So again, this was where I was like, okay, that’s one of those things that you not used to hearing straight up in a Disney movie, just stated explicitly, strange and disgusting experiments on animals and people. So for the better, I actually, like, this is interesting. Like, this is actually an interesting concept. I was like, I want to know more about what he’s doing. And then when you find out that he basically is this transhumanist doctor that not only turns animals into people, but people and animals. This is the freaking doctor that Kyle’s dad went to in South park to become a dolphin.

Yeah. Also, it has been done in Disney movies, beauty and the beast, kind of. That’s basically what was happening in the background experiments. That’s a magical curse, I guess, but. And it’s. And that actually is such a poignant thing to bring up here because this whole entire ass in this movie, you’ve got. You’ve got the teacher’s pet, the dog and his, like, master. And the master is telling him at a certain point, this goes against nature. Like, you can’t. You shouldn’t be able to do this. This is an abomination of nature itself. And Doctor Ivan has this whole freaking monologue, what he’s basically saying, like, there is no nature.

Surgery and chemicals and science, like, science supersedes nature. And you don’t need nature once you’ve got enough science that the literal quote is, nature is dead, science is king. That’s like the ultimate quote that comes out in this. And if you. If you were to say what is, like the ultimate trans human sort of tagline, nature is dead, science is king. That kind of feels like it fits that perfectly, like it fits on the plaque. You don’t got to resize it or anything. Of course. I was almost thinking this. And then that goes on the other head.

Everything is on a scale, you know, the. The most synthetic petrochemical, technically is still from nature. Right? So it’s weird nature. Maybe. Although, yeah, I mean, science is weird nature. There’s another way to think about it. Styrofoam. Yes. Styrofoam is the most natural thing on the planet. Microplastics are natural, right? Polyurethane. Continent of them. There’s a whole continent of that. That makes it natural. Maybe Teflon. Teflon is totally natural. Right in the middle of the Pacific. Yes. You’ll find a continent of that stuff, which. That’s a good point, though. It now takes up, like, some percentage of the earth’s surface is micro plastics.

So. So let me. Let me just explain a little bit more that I’m not just, like, randomly throwing a theme on this thing so that we’ve got something to talk about. Like, this really does hit home in a few ways because the other plot line of this movie is that the teacher, which also happens to be the mother, or I guess the. The mother of the. The dog’s best friend. So I’m just gonna refer to teacher’s pet and Spyde. I don’t care about anyone else. So Spot’s teacher is his master’s mom, which makes it extra weird when he starts hitting on her later on.

Weirdly horny. But she wins. What’s the equivalent of what is, I think, the Golden Apple Teacher awards, but it’s called the neato. Do you have golden apple for what you’re doing? Do you know what golden Apple is? Have you ever heard of that before? I don’t know. I don’t know what that is. Golden apple is kind of what this Nido award is in the show where they, like, award teachers and they get recognized and their name gets printed and they get a little plaque, and sometimes they get, like, a little fake plastic golden apple thing, which is also a scam in a way, because if they.

If you get awarded that, like, you have to pay to go and put yourself up and, like, attend and all this stuff. So it’s like that someone makes a profit off of you winning an award, which always seems like the biggest scam anyways. In this teacher’s pet movie, the teacher slash mom wins the equivalent of a golden apple. It’s called the need award. And the need award stands for something. Can’t remember what it stands for, but they end up going and, oh, the National Excellent American Teachers Organization award. So that’s the Nido award. And she’s absolutely distracted from everything else going on in her life, and she’s focused on, like, let me go and get this awarded.

And when they go to Florida and the dog spot hops along on the Winnebago because the surgeon, right? Doctor Ivan, the humanzi guy, which I’ll call him now, but the humanzi doctor, he’s in Florida, because where else would he be? Of course he’s in Florida. But when he gets there, he has this huge laser ray that kind of like a Tesla coil thing that does these surgeries, and it’s called the freaking Nido. But he makes a point. It’s like. It’s not like that teachers award thing. This is the neuro exchange animal transformation operation Nido. But again, it’s like spot was being encouraged, and almost like the whole source of him even want to be at school and going on this whole thing was because he was being, like, encouraged by the teacher who was going to herself get awarded for how encouraging she was by a Nido.

And then the dog, also, that got all these awards, goes and wants to do a full transformation permanently through a freaking Nido array. And I know it was just like an inside joke about something, but in my. My weird conspiracy mind, it was like, it’s the same thing. Nido represents this agenda of, like, teach the kids to put brains in their. In their, you know, or chips in their brains, rather, teach kids to put chips in their brains. And it’s normal. And you can start that by just giving them little medals and, oh, my God, look how.

Look how courageous you are. You put a neuralink in your brain. Oh, if you put three in there, you’ll get three medals. You know what I mean? And then all of a sudden, it turns into the exact. If you went to the doctor and the doctor is giving you the exact same encouragement as the teachers are. So you’ve got this absolute positive feedback loop that’s constantly telling you, yes, this weird thing that goes against nature is what you should be doing. Here’s some. Some rewards for doing it. Yeah. I teach for a private company. So basically, we get two bonuses a year.

And if they like you and you’re making them money, the reward is you get a little bit bigger of a bonus. Also, we get bonuses. When did Americans have that last is when they’re afraid of losing them. Okay. Okay, here you go. Here’s a raise that does not correspond with inflation. Enjoy it. Yeah. I should throw out that the yen is worth garbage at the moment still, so. But, hey, I’m using Japan, so it’s not too bad. All right? Right, right. Let’s see. Yeah, yeah. This movie got very horny at the end. I just started writing things like 50 shades of dog.

Oh, here we go. I don’t know if you remember this line, but I rewound, like three times. And I swear they said, I’ve got spinach in my dick. And that can’t be right. I didn’t hear that one. I’ve got my own that I had to rewind, like, three or four times. And I wanted to. Okay, what’s yours? So this one was doctor Ivan talking to the dog right at the, like, the last second. And he says, I shall make you a woman. And I swear that he’s supposed to say, I shall make you a human. But he wouldn’t.

He wasn’t saying it. Like, I kept rewinding it. I kept playing it back, and it just kept saying. And I don’t know if it was supposed to be a joke, if I was mishearing it, if it was just like an improperly recorded line or other. But I know I listened to it enough times to where I wasn’t trying to listen for something. Because I was expecting him to say, I shall make you a human. But every freaking time I played it back, he said, I shall make you a woman. So I don’t know if that was a continuation of the weird, pervy angle.

It starts to go towards the end or if that was me putting something on it. Who knows? It’s like people listening to Jimi Hendrix Purple haze. Excuse me while I kiss this guy. My mom thought credence’s song there’s a bathroom on the right. So I told her it’s not a bathroom on the right. There’s a bathroom on the right. You know, I love misheard lyrics, though. Yeah. Oh, go ahead. They throw some shade at Florida, which is deserved. They call them all. You’d have to be a coconut to go to Florida. And they also show a joke that I think hit more for a Floridian than anyone else.

But when they’re going to the doctors, his address, by the way, is 666, which just kind of plays even more into the whole, like, transhumanist agenda thing. But the doctor’s address is 666 on the street in Florida. I use that joke, by the way, I made the movie psychovixens, and I’m calling the witches live. The Satanists. Excuse me? Satanists live upstairs in apartment 666. I’m calling the land. Or this is apartment 665. Sounds like, oh, man, I use that joke crap. So in addition to that joke being that he’s looking for, you know, building 666, and he comes across building 665, but he doesn’t realize it at first, and it’s this, like, total futuristic place, and it’s.

It just looks. Aw, it looks like the Jetsons almost, right? And he’s, like, super excited. Like, hell, yeah. They’re like, this doctor’s got everything. And then he realizes it just has 665. And then right next to this huge, like, top, you know, like, modern age looking hospital, is this shack in the middle of a swamp. And that is literally how Florida is kind of built, where you will be looking at, like, a. Like, a modern state of the art hospital. And then there’s, like, a shack directly next to it. Like, that’s pretty typical around here because it was all swampland.

Um, I want to go back to the tv show a little bit because my Internet started working again. They definitely did not strike while the iron is hot. It aired from September 2000 to May 10, 2002. So this movie was two years late. And then I’m looking at the titles of episodes, and just to bolster you, the first episode is called metamorphosis. So it seems that they were kind of on that kick from the start. I guess that. Go ahead. No, I’m just saying, I guess that’s him dressing up as a boy in the first episode.

The premise of the series. So that’s the metamorphosis in the series. So for the movie, we got to kick it up a notch. Right? And it makes. Yeah, it makes sense because it’s literally called Teacher’s pet, and it’s about the. A dog that is a pet that also is the teachers. Like, it’s literally the teacher’s pet, but he also goes to school and learns under that teacher and is this teacher’s best student. So it’s like a teacher’s pet on both. So it makes plenty of sense. But in a non extremist, like, I’m not just trying to, like, stir the pot a little bit here, but imagine that this is the cartoon you grew up with.

Like, what if this was my Doug, right? Like, I would be upset, but I would also. I feel like I’d be more screwed up than I am already if instead of rugrats and Doug and, hell, even around and stimpy, if my character that I related to and that I thought of as, like, my basis for archetypes for a large swamp off the time was a dog that wanted to become a human, and everyone was like, oh, yeah, you can totally become a human. No, this is normal. This is actually encouraged. I don’t know. Like, would that make me a different person? I feel like it would.

So there’s something about the premise of encouraging men that can turn into dolphins and dolphins that can turn into men is just a little creepier than what I think I was used to growing up. I guess if you were a kid watching this had been into the show, one, you’d probably aged out in the two years since it aired, but whatever. Correct. Two, he spends a notable portion of the movie as, like you said, a 49 year old man. So that might be kind of disappointing to a fan of the show. That’s a great point. Yeah.

If, if the namesake of your entire movie ends up turning into a creepy old man with like, like a receding hairline and back hair, and that’s, that’s the guy that, like, that’s the character you love the most. And now he’s like this creepy dude. Yeah, I’m getting close to being a 49 year old man, so I think it’s hysterical. But for a twelve year old, maybe it’s not so great. Nothing makes sense about this movie. Like, how did this become the plotline of a mate? Like a theatrical Disney movie release? Like, there’s so, like, you can break the mold in a few different ways, but to just break every single mode that you own and then, like, all the replacements break those two.

I don’t know, it was just so weird for this to all match up like this. There’s almost nothing on the production of this movie. All I got with anything resembling meat is on its story. Instead of telling the original Pinocchio story, the filmmaker thought of putting a twist on the tail which relates to the theme of the movie. Be careful what you wish for. But now they’re putting the wish on the dog. They’re putting the wish on spot, not on society, which is kind of, that’s what we’ve been talking about is more interesting that way. But, I mean, you wouldn’t say that in your promo anyway, but.

Right, well, and I guess the difference too. In Pinocchio, no one was encouraging Pinocchio to become a real boy. If anything, it was a silly premise that no one was on board with. Right? Like, no one really thought that it was possible or it almost became like this fruitless adventure. So when it actually happens, it’s all that much more powerful. And when we did Pinocchio without rehashing all thing, but that was like, like a homunculus that gains human consciousness and. But here the dog already has consciousness. It can talk, it can reason. It has the exact same amount of, like, its brain seems to work on the same level, even after it, quote, becomes a boy.

Right. Like, it doesn’t change the brain of this dog. It doesn’t actually like Pinocchio. You’d almost assume that once it becomes a real boy, it actually has a soul. Now. But like, this isn’t that. This is, again, that this is science over magic, science over spirit. Right. And the school has pushed him to this position to want this because of school. That’s the primary reason for wanting to be a real boy. Correct. So he’s been pushed to. Now, be careful what you wish for, even though we kind of suggested you want this. The other notable thing is that Pinocchio fails in going to school.

He’s off to school. He does not make it to school. He learns from the school of hard knocks, which is the best place to learn from, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have any other things you wanted to. Okay, great. Because when we started out, I just wanted to have a quick look at, Barry Anger was the talk show host. Oh, yeah. So Barry anger is clearly sort of an amalgamation or it’s supposed to sound like Jerry Springer, like Barry Anger, Jerry Springer. So clearly it was Jerry Springer. But it reminded me of Morton Downey Junior. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Morton Downey Junior at all.

So the Morton Downey junior show is basically like an angry Jerry Springer. Jerry Springer never came across as angry. I’m sure he probably got heated a few times. And he had Steve, I think, like the bald guy that was like his bouncer or whatever he calls Steven, and like be the muscle. But. But Jerry Springer kind of had a sense of humor. Morton Downey Junior had the opposite of that. Morton Downey Junior was like, I’ll punch you right in the face, mister. Like, he was an angry dude. So Barry anger in this movie is clearly in my mind.

Morton Downey Junior, there’s no one else it could be, but he’s kind of wearing the skin suit of Jerry Springer just to draw a circle back. By the way, I think I mostly know about Morton Downey Junior from parodies of him in Mad magazine and cracked. Like, I didn’t watch his show. Like, I know him from that, not because I was too young to actually watch his show and enjoy it, you know? Yeah. I’ve gone back and I’ve rewired. I’ve tried to find as many of them as I could. And, dude, it’s basically Jerry Springer. If the fist fights were real, like, that’s the best way I can put it.

And if Jerry Springer were the one starting the fistfight. That’s kind of what Morton Downey Junior showed sort of was. Did you know the teacher’s pet song by. I didn’t know. Okay. I first heard that on SCTV, so I watched. I probably have heard that because they did a parody. There’s. When I was searching for this movie, I kept running into the 1958 movie with Cary Grant, which I assume that’s where the song came from. And SCTV did a parody of that. And the song was stuck in my. Has been stuck in my head all week.

So when the movie ended with it, I was kind of like, yay. I have to say that when I look up these movies, I go and I sail the seas, but I don’t go to the bay. I’ve got my own ports that I go through. This one’s on archive, by the way. I was about to be like, oh, crap, do I have to watch this in YouTube? Close, but it is on archive.org, which is somewhat legitimate, I think. It’s not. No, it’s not. Okay. Anyway, that’s where I got it. I’m pretty sure. No. Unless you had to borrow it and log in and register.

And I don’t think you could find this legitimately at this point. Well, yeah, good point. Yeah. Who knows? And I guess I’ve never, I haven’t known for decades, you know, where to find things legitimately. Don’t sign up for Disney. Plus, when I. Yeah, right. In case you die in their park. Right. When I, when I looked for this movie, though, teacher’s pet, man, there’s a lot of movies called Teacher’s Pet. And out of those movies called Teacher’s Pet, a lot of those are adult movies, as you might imagine, but just as many and maybe even more.

There’s a lot of freaking horror movies called Teacher’s Pet and a lot of italian horror movies called. Anyways, long story short, I’ve got a huge backlog of things on my watch list now that are all just teacher’s pet movie. Like probably like six or seven different teacher’s pet movie. All horror movies and different languages and stuff. But some of them seem freaking crazy. So I don’t know, maybe I’ll do like a teacher’s pet marathon for Halloween or something. This is some deja vu. Yesterday we had the same thing going with Amityville movies. If you look at just in the past five years, because you can’t really copyright that name, right? So people use it for their productions.

And look up the list of Amityville. We actually had to tell the co host to shut up because he was going on for a minute just listing these. It’s funny, but you have to stop. That’s the bit. That’s the bit. The bit is to make you hate the bit. But I literally was like, oh, my God, you have to stop this. You know, I guess as the guy with my producer mind, I’m like, oh, this is going to be boring podcasting if he does this for another minute, you know? But it was funny, for sure. There are some insane titles there, and obviously some insane teachers pets as well.

There’s another. Another quote from Doctor Ivan I’ve got on here. The possibilities in this world for change are infinite, and I will prove it. And I. And I had this note when he. When he said that. And even through the end of the movie, I guess, um. He looks bad. He sounds bad. He acts bad. He looks like he smells bad. Like, everything about this guy exudes being bad. In in fact, he’s kind of the Chernobog here, because he’s got little devil horns hair. He’s got a long, skinny beard. He’s got a long, rosacea infested nose.

He’s got a Tesla mad scientist outfit with the rubber gloves and, like, the white smock, right? He’s got a unibrow. He’s got a thin little, like, a squirrely little mustache. That’s like, kelsey Grammer’s voice. He’s Baldemde. He’s got scars on his face. Like, literally every single detail that they could put on this guy is to tell you that he’s, like, evil. He’s the worst person ever in the world. It’s. That’s doing these, like, these surgeries and. And turning things into boys. But everything that he says sounds so, like, good. Like, it sounds like the things that he’s doing are full of morale and, like, merit it and, like, their noble causes.

Like, again, that the quote. Right. And the person saying this is might as well have been, like, a german dictator. But. But the quote is, the possibilities in this world for change are infinite, and I will prove it. I guess that is the kind of thing that a german dictator might say to a large crowd. That sounds good. On the surface, I don’t see Werner von Braun saying that back on the wonderful world of Disney. It was. It was just so weird how the juxtaposition of how noble the things that he’s saying seem to be, but that he literally has everything wrong with him to make him look like a bad guy.

This was also when I was like, damn, there’s a unibrow make you more susceptible of being a villain. And I think it does. I think especially if you’re in a Disney cartoon, if you’ve got a unibrow, you might automatically be questionable, like your morals. Parents were paperclipped for sure. He’s too young to be paperclipped, but as parents, for sure, assuming it runs in the family. So another, he’s kind of this bad guy. And not to harp on this, I swear, it just kept coming up like the themes were being projected on me. I feel like I wasn’t reading into this.

And the one time that he takes off his black latex gloves, he’s got these freaking painted fingernails. And they make some comment about why, like, why his fingernails are all painted up. And he like, puts his gloves back on. So he’s like, he’s basically rocky horror picture show under, under his outfit as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I just ran to a Brainwall. I was gonna say something and it slipped. There’s one interesting scene where I think it’s in a song and the doctor is singing about how he’s standing on the shoulders of giants. And as he says, standing on the shoulders of giants, it actually shows him standing on the shoulders of the seven dwarves, which they’re making like a silly joke, right? Like, on the shoulders of giants, but they’re actually dwarfs and not giants, but also because they are such monumental Disney IP characters, they really are giants.

And now you literally have a character that’s kind of unknown. Uh, hence the 4 million out of $10 million budget, or 6 million out of 10 million. Right? Like the, the commercial flop of this was literally a, an IP character that was standing on the shoulder of giants. But it’s done in like a, almost like a satirical parody way. The same way that they make fun of pinocchio. And, um, the fairy godmother, um, that there’s a hidden Mickey on a sale early on. I did catch that there’s a couple of mickeys in this one, actually, but, and I guess another one too, is that even when the fairy godmother, right, that comes down and gives Pinocchio consciousness in this movie, we have that same character, but every single time she shows up, the dog will say something about like, oh, fairy godmother.

And then he kind of comes to and there’s like a guy with a rough voice going like, I ain’t no fairy like that. Every single time that happens, they show this, like, New York guy that’s offended that he was just called a fairy. Well, yeah, but you gotta get that accent. Oh, I fun to do those voices. I know. Fairy. Oh, yeah. I was just gonna say, like, we’ve had a few movies recently where it’s like, gee, is there any meat to the bone? We’re in the middle of this one. I mean, this one’s clear. Like, oh, there’s meat to the bone in this one.

And it’s pretty entertaining. So I think that’s why I was coming into it so much, like, yeah, it was entertaining as hell. The artwork, the animation, everything about it is definitely worth watching if you ever seen it before. It’s worth watching despite all your feelings going into it. And one other thing about Doctor Ivan, which was like, the cherry on top here, is that as soon as he sees that his surgery was successful and he was able to turn this dog into a boy, I don’t know if you picked up on this, but the first thing that he says is like, I need to bring this to the undead.

Like, what a weird freaking. That stood out. Yeah, what a weird thing to say. Not just in the premise of a Disney movie, but, like, the first thing that you need to do after you just turned a dog into a boy is bring it to the Un so that the UN, with the implication being that now the Un can push this on the rest of the world and it can make it like the new global standard. And like, I don’t know, my conspiracy red flags had, like, already fizzled out at that point. I was like, over March of science and there.

And. Sorry, go ahead, that’s fine. There was one other thing that I thought was interesting here, is that when the dog becomes a man and is like, I actually like this, I’m going to just bang your mom. I’ll marry your mom, and we can, like, we can live together. But the kid was like, no, that’s not the formula. Like, the formula is a dog and it’s boy or the dog and its master. But his solution was, he’s going to go to doctor Ivanhouse and he’s going to become a dog so that he can now fulfill the role.

He can, like, fix this imbalance of his dog becoming a man. So now a man’s going to become a dog to, like, fix it. Okay, I have to read my obscene notes then from the sequence, I think, okay, let’s do it. You know, I try not to drop too many f bombs on this podcast, but there’s several here. What does it mean if your dog, if your dog fucks your mom? Damn, are they going to fuck in this Disney movie? And then the quote, good news, I’m gonna fuck your mom. Why is this movie this horny? Who’s the master now? Why is mom suddenly in skivvies? Is she Marge Simpson hot? I got weird in that sequel, a segment, excuse me, not sequel.

And this. The timing might not match up for this one, too, but the first thing that the mom invites him for is a cup of coffee. A cup of hot coffee. And I was just thinking, man, is this around the time of that GTA hot coffee? I think it is, to be honest. I think it is. Was this a freaking inside reference to a GTA? You know, like sort of Easter egg where it showed adult content? I wrote, coffee can be crack for some reason, but yeah, because it can be if you drink enough. Was it 35 cups a day is supposed to kill you? There’s some coffee threshold.

Although I guess like 35 glass of water a day might kill you, you know? So, yeah, so you just. You just lower the salinity of your blood or the liquids in your body, and your brain can’t even, like, send neurotransmitters properly anymore, I think. But you keep drinking coffee. Yeah. Another, another. Just a weird kind of aspect of this, too, is that a dog wants to become a man. Becomes a man. And it’s like, this is what I wanted. This is perfect. That, like, this is like, everything went well for me, except for the whole, like, I’m a man instead of a boy thing, which we’ll figure out later.

I can’t sleep with you because you’re a boy. But anyways, we’ll figure that out. But he’s still pretty much, like, on board until the boys like, okay, well, I’m going to become a dog. And then all of a sudden, the dog’s like, wait a minute. No, like, this isn’t right. Like, this isn’t how things should be. So it almost felt like a. Like a crack in the resolve of spot to actually become a human. Like, did he question the neural link? Did he get the neuralink? And then he was like, no, no, it’s great. I love it.

I don’t have to open up my calculator anymore. Things just come to me. And then someone that he cares about is like, I’m going to get the neural link, and then he’s like, okay, actually don’t. Like, actually, there’s something wrong with this. That’s kind of how it felt a little bit. Well, I guess if you do have some kind of dream to change yourself and you do a procedure and it doesn’t work correctly, what do you do? You know, I guess you’re sort of locked into it, right? Maybe that is the thing. Like, I’m locked. Yeah, you’re locked into it.

I mean, this isn’t what. Exactly what I wanted, but, you know, try this thing I got now. So, yeah, let’s do this. Right? Right. So I can appreciate that. I mean, that that is. That’s a good, positive way to go about it. But yes, when someone else is about to do the same thing, you know, like, oh, this doesn’t work. You know, maybe just doesn’t work, you know, and then there’s. There’s one final. Just like, neuralink doesn’t work. Evil. Yeah. Nurlink doesn’t work. There’s one final, like, really evil quote that it kind of ends with, and it’s.

And it feels so innocuous. But all’s well that ends well like that. They actually say that at some point, and, man, I can’t ever hear that and not just think Machiavelli. Like, you’re literally quoting Machiavelli where, like, means. Right. How is that any different than all’s well that ends well? That means that if something ended well, then that means everything that led up to it. All’s well that ends well. That is a Machiavellian quote, just repackaged as a way that you can say it in, like, a Disney movie. And it sounds kind of innocuous. Yeah, we should find, like, really vile quotes and, like, find ways to make them, like, sound innocuous.

I don’t know. Let’s see. Do you have any other angles you want to poke into? No, I think I’ve tread the line carefully enough, and I didn’t have one specific version of changing your configuration for one another. Neuralink, anything else you want to fill in that. But it all works, because in my mind, it’s all the same thing. It’s all pointed down the same path of, like, you can just be a brain in a vat. You don’t even need a body. You don’t need any identifying natural, organic, or spiritual composition whatsoever. Just tell me how many atoms and what kind of hormones are floating and how many giga, you know, bytes you can store, and that defines you, and that’s all that should ever define you.

And I just think that that’s kind of the premise of this movie, whether intentional or nothing. That’s literally what the whole movie is about. Yeah, I mean. I mean, live your truth always, but do consider if something is influencing you, like school, because school does. I’ve. We’ve talked about our very different experiences, and, but they both had, you know, profound influences. Everyone who’s grown up in America has been profoundly influenced by their schooling experience. You know, that, that’s. So I guess that’s where this movie kind of, like, is a fun mirror to think about your own experience.

Real fun. Those are really fun. Yeah, yeah. Big pluser on this. I guess we’ll wind it down for the day, then. So. Oh, one other quick thing, too. I guess since we’re talking about academia and, like, weird ways that school inverts things and, like, ruins things, but they show at the very end spot wearing a dunce captain, I believe. And it’s a, it’s a gag. It’s a common gag. You put a dunce cap on someone. I don’t know if we’ve brought this up before either, but originally, a duns cap was meant to. To be for, like, a smart person.

And the, the idea. The idea was that now, if you put. Yeah, your hairy net, your wizard now, Harry. But when you, if you put the duns cap on, the concept was that it was almost like an antenna. And if they were. I’m simplifying this a little bit, but it was almost like, like if there were thoughts floating around, like these archetypes and aggregors were floating around in the sky, and putting a duns cap on made it easier for you to, like, tune into them, only, like a little antenna for ideas. So duns caps were actually used by people that were considered, like, smart or, like, trying to go deep into, like, philosophical thought.

And it was, I think it was like, a catholic thing. It was a religious, it had, like, a religious component to it. It. And then an atheist came along and turned the premise of a dunce cap into, like, a stupid thing. And then they take on this connotation of, oh, you put a dunce cap on a stupid person. But the whole point of putting a dunce cap on a stupid person is still rooted in the fact that if I put an antenna on your head, you’ll get smarter from it. So if I’m calling you a dunce and I give you a duns cap, that’s not supposed to be a walk of shame, which it is now, like, now you wear it and it’s like, haha.

You know, like, Nelson comes out and, like, you feel like an idiot. But really, the original reason to put a dunce cap on your head was almost, like, through osmosis it would just make you smarter. So. I always find that such a fascinating aspect because it’s like, why? Why the hell would putting this thing on your head make you an idiot? Well, it’s because you were, like, saying you need to absorb more information from the ether. Also. When’s the last time that happened? Real world? I just can’t imagine that. I mean, I remember seeing it in, like, tv shows that were supposed to be based in, like, the fifties ish.

Yeah. Like, I’ve never seen one in the wild. I never saw one in my schooling experience. I did have a teacher. Again, man, I hate my. Anyways, not gonna make somebody. But I had a teacher in some class. I don’t remember which class it was, but she had a freaking hammer. But it was like a. Like a toddler’s hammer that if you hit it, it, like, squeaks and it has, like, little rattles stuff in it, you know, talking about like a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally. God, man, she would do pop quizzes where you’d have to, like, raise your hand if you had the answer and everything.

And she’d made sure that, like, you know, everyone was participating and anyone that got an answer wrong, she would walk by and she would bop them on the freaking head with this hammer and it would have, like, a squeak. And I think that she thought it was, like, cute. It was the most demeaning, like, anyways, yeah, it was like the worst experience, and everyone hated it. Every single person in that classroom was like, who is this cringe lady in her stupid hammer? Is she going to hit? And she would, like, hit, like, bullies on the head with this thing.

So sometimes you’re like, dude, like, she’s really going to hit him on the head with a hammer? Oh, hell yeah. Beep. I guess I have the nicer version when I’m teaching. Very small trend, like four year old. Sometimes, you know, do a question, toss the ball, and sometimes I’ll, like, point to the top of their head and then bounce the ball off their head. But they think that’s funny. So just very solid. No, I’m telling you, it was way different. It would be one thing if you were kind of like a beloved, you know, teacher, but if everyone already hates you and then you bring out a hammer and you hit people on the head and you make fun of them, forgetting.

The worst thing would be to actually raise your hand because you’re forced to have an answer. Sometimes answer it and not just be told you’re wrong, but then humiliated in front of the class, like, and physically hit with this. Like, I don’t think it would work now. Someone would be like, oh, my God, they traumatized me, or whatever. But yeah. Anyways, more. More school insight into my weird problems. Yeah. Just to be clear, I might have had better experience, but I still would have preferred to be somewhere not school. And did I take Ferris Bueller days? Absolutely.

And yes. My senior year of high school, again, I figured out ways to legitimately cut, like, ten days of school where people weren’t even looking for me. They knew I was gone. But I was just watching Austin Powers or something in the movie theater. I found a secret cheat code at some point, and this was horrible. I don’t recommend to anyone. Probably ruined another portion of my school thing. But I. I realized, and I think it was like a physics, like, physics two class, because I loved physics, I did great in it. But I realized that, like, I can skip all the homework and all the class interaction, all the labs.

I did the math, and I was like, I can pass this class with a d plus if I just do well on the test and the quizzes. And I made it an intentional effort that entire year to just not do any homework, not do any of the lab, just sleep through every single lecture and then just study it from the book on my own in my own time, and just ace every single quiz and test, which I did. And it was like the ultimate cheat code because it was like I just got to sleep through class and do any of the homework and then still pass, still got to graduate to the next level.

I wasn’t going to win the awards or anything, but it was like a serviceable sort of solution to that. And then I just started applying that to all my classes. I was thinking, you’re a couple of years younger. And I managed that in university, actually, my psychology class, it was like psychology 101, right? And I think I put all the notes on the Internet, and it was a giant class. I think I actually had a radio shift during that class. Like, I never went to. I was on the radio, so it’s like you could tell I’m skipping.

I’m on air. But yeah, yeah, yeah. If that’s early Internet, where there is. Oh, I could put online and people like us. Really? Well, there’s the whole class. Why do I even need to go, you know? Amen. Seriously. I mean, again, down with every. All schools board of education. Just everything. Just read books. Rip it all. Seriously, read books, man. And if you want to know the history of something, read four different books on it. You know, don’t read one. It does. It’s. I don’t know, maybe I’m just like super naive and I know I’m really, really biased on this angle, but I just wonder, have we evolved past needing the school system that we’ve got now? The fact that we’ve got Internet and Wikipedia and looking everything again, this is like the most boomer joke ever that everyone always claims.

But it’s so true that we all heard teachers tell you, you’re not going to have a calculator in your pocket all the time. You’re not going to have some little cheat code, you’re not going to have the notes in your pocket all the time. Like, you bet you know what? We actually do have all the notes in our pocket all the time for everything. Everything you told me was a lie. And I just wish I would have known back then that said, my mental math skills were way better 20 years ago and then they are now.

Oh, of course, of course. But, but we’ve offloaded that intent. Well, maybe not intentionally anymore, but me and you over the course, like we kind of had an active participation and offloading what used to be mental. Same thing with like short term and long term memory. I know some people, but not many, that remember everyone’s phone numbers just in their mind or like their. I don’t even remember my phone number now. You know, I have to look it up every time somebody wants to see. That’s, that’s kind of an intentional thing, even if it happens slowly.

But like we kind of started, you know, or we stopped memorizing phone numbers because it was like, what’s the point? I’ve got other things that I can storm my brain, but kids growing up now, these whippersnappers that don’t have to walk through 2 miles of snow, but they don’t, they don’t know what it was like to actually like, have to memorize numbers constantly because it was the only way that you would get a car ride in the middle of nowhere. Sometimes you have to go through like five or six different numbers and you better make sure that you’ve got them all memorized properly.

And it’s the same thing up and down. I have two hardwired phone numbers still, of course. My, the house I grew up in, which is still my parents phone number, if you were to actually call them on the phone. That one, I won’t say, my friend across the street, 662-5670 he hasn’t lived there for 30 years. He can deal with it. I remember the first one when I was, I mean we moved out of this house when I was six years old, and I still remember the number was 432-9032 and this was before there was even a freaking area code.

Like area codes were introduced sometime after we, I think, moved out of New York. This was in the early eighties, so I guess that dates me, right? I existed before area codes, at least in the area that I was in. Okay, interesting, because I never remembered there not being an area code. I remember not having to use it. And then in the nineties you had to start using it because Atlanta now has what I’m talking to about. Yeah, to use the area code. Yeah. Okay, there we go. I guess we’ll wind this one down then. But how about late July? I know you have not just kickstarters now, a few other things, Roland.

Yeah, I’m going to have to start figuring out what I want to focus on the most, because really it’s, I’ve got a whole bunch of projects that are kind of sort of ready to go, but I can’t just have them all printed, I cant just have 1000 copies of like ten different things printed all at once. I just dont have the money or logistics. So what Im kind of planning on doing now is waiting to see which of these various projects get the most sign ups first and whatever gets the most sign ups first. Kind of an indicator of how much people are interested in it.

And ill release that one next, at least until I come into some huge windfall. But the next big one that Im pushing is illuminaticomic.com, and it’s basically a chick track style comic on the entire history of the bavarian illuminati, the Alumbrados, it gets into Knights Templar, it gets into Rosicrucians, Jesuits, it basically covers the entire history and all the way through modern day. So for example, we talk about how Beyonce might be part of the modern day Illuminati, but we tie all the different connections so it doesn’t just sound like a flip, an out of nowhere thing.

For example, you’re, I mean, you understand classic music, I think like you’ve done, you know, your music theory and you’ve taken music throughout the course your life. So you know, Bach and Beethoven and Mozart at the very least, right, I can get pretty deep on that. Did you know, maybe you did that all three of those musicians were directly connected to the actual Bavarian Illuminati. All documented, all fully provable, not, not conjecture of like, yeah, he was in the same room, but they literally have documented connections. All three of those. Time and place is about right.

Sure. I mean, if you’re in society, you’re kind of. I think especially that time, you know, you have a patron. You need to be in part of something. Right, right. You know, you’re absolutely right. And. But the thing that makes this interesting is, I believe it was. Was Beethoven. Mozart might get mixed up, but I think it was Beethoven. His piano teacher, his violin teacher, and I think his music theory teacher were all actual members of the Bavarian Illuminati. The same with Bach. Younger Bach, Cse Bach. He had, like, a teacher. And I believe his first publisher was Bavarian Illuminati, the one that actually, like, started putting his music out there.

There and got him some kind of commercial success. And then Mozart, famously, was not just friends with very Illuminati, but I think there’s rumors that his play the magic flute revealed some kind of freemasonic and Illuminati secrets, which made me overture. Right. Now, what’s that? Playing the overture in the orchestra for that right now. That’s. And apparently some people claim that that got him killed, or that’s something that he did in part. And I’ve also read that it wasn’t the freemasonic teachings that he revealed was Bavarian Illuminati teachings are revealed. But either way, these three guys were tightly woven in.

And the theme here is that in the freaking 17, late 17 hundreds, the Bavarian Illuminati very accurately controlled pop music. They controlled the pop music industry. So to claim in 2020 that there’s, like, a hip hop illuminati or that Taylor Swift is somehow connected to the Illuminati, I have to admit, for the longest time, it would kind of, like, chuckle and be like, you know, you know, grow up, guys, like, get into some real conspiracy theories. Talk to me about Gladio or Mkultra or something, or paperclip, right? But I’ve come around now, after doing the work on this Illuminati comic, I’ve totally come around to being open to the idea that, no, the Illuminati maybe is still controlling pop music because they did when they were first created, that was one of their things, was to infiltrate and dictate what pop culture would even be.

So, I don’t know. Like, that’s one of the many, many, like, hundreds of different little avenues that we went down on making this Illuminati comic, which you can check out Illuminatic comic.com dot. All right, speaking of music and fairies, I guess I just put out some folk. I ain’t no fairy. I put out an album last week of kind of folk rock. Kind of like Wicker Man east sounding stuff, this seventies movie, not the newer one, but it’s all acoustic except for the bass. It’s called descent into the fairy Mound faerie. The lyricist, or that’s actually the guy that wrote the lyrics for our theme song.

So a little bit of collaboration there. That’s at rovingsagemedia dot bandcamp.com. as I said in previous episodes, you can also find albums where I attempt to brainwash you with binaural beats. So there’s a whole selection of sounds there for you. Well, I’m going to go be the teacher, not the Peter. Are you gonna go bang bangs one of your teachers dogs or one of your students dogs? Yes. No. Yes? No. Yes? I don’t know how to answer that. Spread the word with propaganda packs. All for just $40 shipped@paranoidamerican.com. paranoid propaganda packs we got facts on these speaker slaps so grab yourself a stack and go attack with these paranoid propaganda packs these huge all weather slaps will last in public for years to come remind citizens that birds are not real self immolation is an option and might make you magnetic do your part and get a propaganda pack today from paranoidamerican.com.

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This is the perfect read for comic Kubrick or conspiracy fans of all ages. For more details, visit nasacomic.com. explore the unique with paranoid american sticker sheets. Unearth tales of cryptids, cults, and mysteries through each sticker. These won’t last long. Get yours now@paranoidamerican.com. we got all your favorite conspiracies. All I’ve ever been worn on our sticker sheets. There are no american stickers. What the heck are you waiting for? Discover the extraordinary with paranoid american sticker sheets from cryptids in the night the cults out of sight each sticker is a unique find get yours now@paranoidamerican.com. i scribble my life away driven the right to page will it enlighten me? The flight my plane paper the hides ablaze somewhat of an amazing feel when it’s real, the real you will engage it.

Your favorite, of course the Lord of an arrangement I gave you the proper results to hit the pavement if they get emotional hate maybe your language a game how they playing it? Well without lakers evade them, whatever the course, they out of shape shit snakes get decapitated. Meta is the apex execution of flame. You out nuclear bomb distributed at war rather gruesome for eyes to see maxim out then I light my trees, blow it off in the face. You’re despising me for what, though calculated, they’d rather cut throat paranoid american must be all the blood smoke for real? Lord, give me your day your way vacate.

They wait around to hate whatever they say? Not in the least bit we get heavy, rotate when a beat hits a thank us, you well, fuck the niggas for real? You’re welcome. They never had a deal? You’re welcome, man, they lacking appeal? You’re welcome. Yet they doing it still you’re welcome.
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