You’re in an argument, and instead of stepping back, you react angrily or defensively. It’s easy to fall into that trap, right? You don’t stop to think or regulate your emotions. You just pop off because you’re hurt or frustrated. That’s human. We’ve all experienced times when we can’t handle a situation as calmly as we might have wanted. But here’s where things get tricky. The toxic people in our lives, those who thrive off conflict, they remember that. They store those reactions and use them against you. What’s interesting, and a little frustrating, is that toxic people often crave that kind of energy.

It sounds strange, but for some, your emotional reactions are like fuel for their behavior. They see your frustration or anger, and it gives them something to latch onto. It’s almost like they’re waiting for you to react, because to them, it’s entertainment. They think it’s funny or exciting. It gives them something to talk about, something to gossip over. And in extreme cases, they might even use it as a way to manipulate or gaslight you, making you question yourself or your emotions. But then something changes. You begin to see the pattern. You start to notice what they’re doing.

It’s like a light bulb goes off, and you think, wait a second, I’ve been here before. I know exactly what’s happening. It’s that deja vu moment, right? And that’s when you decide to take a different approach. Instead of reacting the way you always have, you choose to stay calm. You remain grounded. You decide that you won’t let them push your buttons or drag you into their chaotic energy. You realize you have the power to control your emotions, and you’re not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing you upset or angry. Now imagine how confusing that must be for them.

They come at you with the same toxic energy using the same tactics they always have. But this time you don’t react the way they expect. You don’t rise to the bait. Instead, you stay calm and centered. It throws them off because they’re not getting the reaction they were hoping for. They start to wonder, what’s going on here? Why aren’t they reacting the way they usually do? That shift in how you handle the situation changes everything. They can no longer use your reactions against you because you’ve taken away their power over your emotions.

You’ve decided to play a different game, one where you are in control. And that kind of strength, the ability to stay calm in the face of someone else’s chaos, is incredibly empowering. It shows that you’re no longer letting toxic people dictate how you feel or act, and that’s a huge win for your emotional well-being. A lot of times, when you stop reacting the way people expect, it really throws them off. You’d think they’d be relieved, right? But instead, many people get upset when you’re not upset. It’s strange, but when you’re calm and collected, especially in situations where they expect you to be fired up, it frustrates them.

They might even accuse you of being fake or putting on an act because you’re no longer playing along with the script they’ve come to expect from you. It’s like they’ve written this mental play where your role is to react emotionally, get upset, and match their energy. And when you don’t, it throws everything off. For some, it feels like you’ve broken some kind of unspoken rule. I’ve experienced this myself. I remember times when people would deliberately say things they knew would trigger me. They knew exactly what words or situations would get a reaction out of me, and they’d use it to pull me into a negative space.

Back then, I’d respond immediately, get emotional, get angry, and let them push me right into that bad energy. They knew my buttons and they pressed them with precision. And I’ll admit, they were successful. In those moments, I’d match their energy. I’d let their negativity drag me down, and it worked. But then I started to notice the pattern. I realized they were doing it on purpose, almost like it was a game to them. They enjoyed watching me react because it gave them something to talk about or made them feel like they had control over the situation.

It took time, but I learned to stop giving them that power. Now when those same people try to trigger me, I don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for. I can see their game, and I’ve decided not to participate. Instead of letting them pull me into their negative energy, I stay focused on myself, on my goals, my business, and staying in my lane. I choose peace over drama because I know that some people, when they’re bored or unhappy with their own lives, will try to stir things up with others just to create some excitement.

And that’s the key. I’ve decided to play my cards right, to not get drawn into their chaos. It’s about recognizing the patterns, seeing through the games, and staying centered in your own energy. When you can do that, it’s a real game changer. You stop reacting to their bait, and in doing so, you take back control of your emotions and your peace. It’s interesting, isn’t it, how people respond differently to their emotions. Some will take those feelings, whether it’s frustration, anger, or jealousy, and channel them into something productive. They might go for a walk, meditate, or focus on improving themselves.

These are the kinds of people who use their energy in a way that’s good for both the body and soul. But then, there are others who don’t know how to handle those emotions, and instead, they turn that negativity outward. They’ll target others because they’re upset or feeling inadequate. These are exactly the types of people you shouldn’t give your energy to. It’s not worth it. You have to be mindful of who you allow to take up space in your life, especially if they’re constantly trying to bring you down to their level.

It’s tempting to react, to defend yourself, or to get drawn into their drama, but that’s exactly what they want. They want your attention because they’re not working on themselves. They’re stuck, and they want you to be stuck too. I’ve learned this the hard way. I used to let people like that take up way too much space in my life. I’d give them my energy, my time, even my thoughts, and for what? They weren’t trying to grow or heal. They just wanted me to feel as low as they did. Once I realized that, I made a decision.

I had to start keeping those people on the sidelines. They didn’t deserve front row seats in my life. And it’s not easy, right? You don’t always see it immediately. You get caught up in the moment, and it’s only later that you realize they’ve drained you. But the more you practice recognizing these patterns, the easier it becomes to protect your energy. You start focusing on yourself, on your own growth, and that’s when you start rising above all the negativity. You realize that your energy is too valuable to give away so easily. When you stop reacting, when you stay calm and focused, it catches people off guard.

They expect you to engage in their drama, to fight back, to react. But when you don’t, it throws them for a loop. They’re confused, maybe even frustrated, because you didn’t give them the reaction they were hoping for. And in that moment, you’ve won. You’ve taken back control. You’ve had people look at you, genuinely surprised that you didn’t respond the way they thought you would. They expected you to get upset, to match their energy, but instead you stayed grounded. It’s empowering when you realize that you don’t have to play into their games. You’re on a different path, one focused on growth, healing, and elevation.

And the more you focus on that, the more you rise above all the distractions. Toxic people are distractions. They stall your progress if you let them. But when you stay in your lane, focus on yourself, and protect your energy, they lose their power over you. It’s all about staying committed to your own elevation, and not getting pulled down by those who aren’t on the same journey. So yeah, keep working on yourself, stay focused on what matters, and don’t let anyone else dictate how you respond. You’re in control of your energy, and that’s something nobody can take away from you.

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